Skip Friday madness, embrace Cyber Monday

Sunday , November 26, 2017 - 12:00 AM

By CAMI CRIMIN
TX. Correspondent

On Thursday, we gathered together as families in our homes to enjoy each other’s company and give thanks for all that we have. We sat together, watching our little cousins, nieces and nephews run and play together, all while enjoying a delicious meal.

It is difficult to think of another time of the year when we are united in this way. On Thanksgiving night, we went to bed with bellies full of turkey and hearts full of love — but not before we set our alarms for an ungodly hour the next morning.

Why would someone do this, you ask?

Well, after such an enjoyable, wholesome day with good people and good food, we only had one thing left we needed to do: break down the doors of our neighborhood Walmart at 5:30 AM to snag 25 decorative lawn gnomes at 30 cents a pop.

So what if we live in an apartment?! That was just too good of a price NOT to take advantage of.

That’s right everyone, I’m talking about Black Friday, the most ironic tradition in American history. After a day of giving thanks with our families for what we already have, we left them at home to elbow our way through a group of soccer moms to get the last copy of Taylor Swift’s new album.

It’s odd, isn’t it? You may be thinking: “Why is she ripping on Black Friday?! I shopped on Black Friday! Who is she to decide whether or not I should have shopped on Black Friday?! We should burn her house down for talking like that!”

Before you light the torches and sharpen the pitchforks, let me clear something up: the only issue I have with Black Friday is that people were really out there on Friday taking a foot to the face just to get the last three computer keyboards (it was a REALLY GOOD SALE) even though they own a laptop, not a desktop.

Sure, there are some GREAT sales in stores. I’m not denying that. But it is SO easy to MISS those great sales. You got stuck in traffic, you slept through your alarm, your oldest kid had your youngest in a choke hold and he was turning purple, WHATEVER. Things happen, and even if you were only a minute late, you might have missed out on two-for-one-jeans at JC Penney or a foot massager for $10-off store value.

My issue is with Black Friday is the fact that people are still staking everything on whether or not they can knock down enough old people to make it into the store on time.

I would like to present a WAY BETTER alternative. It’s called Cyber Monday — online shopping on the Monday after Thanksgiving.

Instead of walking into the store and seeing a middle-aged woman charging toward you looking like an angry bull, nostrils flared and completely ready to mow you down without a second thought, you can wake up Monday morning, log onto your laptop and hunt for deals for a couple of hours on whatever website is willing to hold a sale. T

There’s Amazon, Foot Locker, Best Buy and Target, just to name a few. You can find lots of the same deals in different places.

Plus there’s no cars, no traffic jams, no crowbar to the knees from an angry mom, and no shame when your family members see you being interviewed on TV about using a child as a shield so you could get the last Crock-Pot.

You don’t even have to leave your bed if you don’t want to.

Now, are there deals that are in stores only? Sure there are. Maybe the first 600 people in line get an extra 15 percent off, or the first 25 people to the door get a gift bag with something kinda crappy in it. These things exist, but it’s up to you whether or not it’s worth using a pool noodle to fend off your neighbor, Debby, when you both have your eye on the same Doc McStuffins doll.

Would you rather wait a week for your Crock-Pot you ordered online to ship to your house, or walk home with one sleeve ripped off, no Crock-Pot, your keys missing and a high heel stuck in your thigh?

The choice is yours.

Cami Crimin is a junior at Northridge High School. She loves to write, draw, paint and cook, and finds true crime super interesting (nothing too gory, though, because that’s gross). Email her at doctorwho528491@gmail.com.

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