A tribute to Vine — and why it had to die

Sunday , April 29, 2018 - 12:00 AM

CAMI CRIMIN
TX. Correspondent

It’s been over a year since the untimely death of the beloved Vine app. What once allowed ordinary teenagers and the odd 45-year-old man to gain much more fame and success than they ever needed or deserved was suddenly ripped away from us. 

Why? Well, because when it comes right down to it, Vine kind of sucked, and in many ways, it was doomed from the start.

When you think about it, it’s really simple; the creators of Vine had NO WAY of making money. The app was free, they weren’t charging any subscription fees and they didn’t run any ads EVER. How hard would it have been to run an ad every once in a while the same way they do it on, oh, I don’t know, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, Hulu and everything else!

With no way to turn a profit, Vine was hemorrhaging money daily.

Next up on the list of reasons why Vine died are the awful “content creators.” When I talk about content creators, I’m talking about the people who made videos for the app, but more specifically, the ones who were awful. My examples are Jake and Logan Paul, Lele Pons, Brittany Furlan and many more (all opinions on these individuals expressed are my own; don’t try to fight me).

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Generally, all of these “content creators” were crass, unfunny and, overall, unoriginal and obnoxious. What was so unique about Vine was its ability to turn people like them into hits, despite a complete lack of talent or a moral center. The internet is funny that way.

For whatever reason, these creators became WILDLY successful based on content that, at the end of the day, relied on sexism, “relatable” comedy (which in their case were completely unoriginal observations anybody could make), racial stereotypes and manipulation. If you don’t believe me, look up some of their vines (the clean ones, of course; stay safe out there, kiddos) and tell me it isn’t true.

Thirdly, Vine was never a place where creators were going to stay. Meaning that, being a Vine star was nobody’s top goal in life.

Whether it was success on YouTube, writing a book, becoming an actor or becoming a stand-up comedian, no one looked at Vine as the very most they could achieve. It was easy to get noticed and gain a following while having fun making short videos, but that was just the first step before moving on to bigger things.

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All of that being said, I LOVED Vine and I wish we could have hidden it from all the Jake and Logan Pauls of the world before they corrupted it with their big dumb faces and awful music videos.

Vine was a great platform to start on, and we’ve gained a lot of our big stars from it (most of whom are unfortunately Jake and Logan Paul clones. Dang it). So don’t cry over Vine; it’s in a better place.

It stinks that we are left to watch the same buttmunches who destroyed Vine take over Instagram and create " target="_blank">Musical.lys, though. What a shame.

P.S. Guys, don’t forget to like and subscribe to my Vine account! I really appreciate the support, and welcome to the CamFanzz squad, lol. FOLLOWERS!

P.P.S. That was a joke and I don’t have a Vine account. I don’t call my friends CamFanzz, either.

Cami Crimin is a junior at Northridge High School. She loves to write, draw, paint and cook, and finds true crime super interesting (nothing too gory, though, because that’s gross). She has two cats and is very sarcastic. Email her at doctorwho528491@gmail.com.

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