Review: 'You Don't Mess With the Zohan' good advice
There are no comments for this page [ Add Comment ]Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The title of the latest Adam Sandler movie suggests that you may not want to mess with the Zohan because he's such a tough guy. But here's my take: Don't mess with the Zohan because he's already made a big enough mess out of this himself.
In "You Don't Mess With the Zohan," Sandler plays an Israeli super agent who is the go-to guy in his country. A bigger-than-life John Wayne type with disco moves, Zohan is a one-man wrecking crew who always gets his man with as little collateral damage to civilians as possible.
And while he is adored in his native Israel, he is public enemy No. 1 to the Palestinians, who have their own revered figure in the form of "The Phantom" (John Turturro).
Yet Zohan is tired of all the killing and hatred and longs for the day when he can truly fulfill his destiny as an acclaimed hairstylist like Paul Mitchell.
So he fakes his own death, flees to America, changes his identity to Scrappy Coco and tries to get a job at Paul Mitchell's in New York. Unfortunately, he's been working from an old stylist book, and so he walks in looking like an '80s boy-band member and is laughed off the floor.
Zohan is not used to taking such rejection and this worries him. Maybe he can't make it as a stylist. What will he do with his life?
But finally, he does get a break at a beauty salon owned by the Palestinian beauty, Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), who hires him initially to sweep the floors. He will make the best of it when a chair opens up. Not only does he dazzle his elderly female client with a sassy new cut, he takes her in the back for an additional shagging.
I almost fell out of my chair as Zohan delivers a shampoo, a cut and a romp to each of his elderly clients -- even to the former "Facts of Life's" Mrs. Garrett (Charlotte Rae). Eeeww.
Here's the danger for Sandler: His boys-in-the-treehouse fan base will initially think that's funny, but when it becomes a running joke they'll be thinking, "What the deuce?" They would prefer to see him bedding younger actresses; this odd cougar craze will be no turn-on for them.
Not to mention Sandler's peripheral adult fans, who will not be happy with this plot line at all.
The rest of the film does little to distract you from that theme, seeing as how so little plot exists and Sandler is more interested in flexing his butt cheeks and sticking his bulging crotch in everyone's face.
It's dumb.
Not "Little Nicky" or "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" stupid, but not far above it.
And I haven't even touched on its racial insensitivities or its gay trouncing. This film relies so heavily on Sandler's charms that it almost forgets to bring anything else to the table.
The most telling experience came after the movie when I overheard five target-age boys talking about how the film was just OK, but thank goodness they didn't bring girls with them. Even they were embarrassed at what Sandler was throwing at them on the screen.
Sandler's better than that. We've seen it and this could have been it, if he hadn't stooped to the cheap and vulgar.
If it were up to me, I wouldn't mess with the Zohan either. It's just not worth it.
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