Get Smart about 2008 films
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By STEVE SALLES
Standard Examiner movie critic
What's old is new again in 2008.
Indiana Jones dusts off his whip and fedora, the Incredible Hulk gets a makeover that we hope makes Ang Lee's version green with envy, "Star Trek" goes back to the beginning minus Wild Bill Shatner, and Eddie Murphy is hoping his Starship Dave doesn't remind people of that painful Pluto Nash.
And that's just the beginning -- you won't believe what else is on the movie-theater horizon this year.
Let's start with the biggies.
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (May 22) -- When we last saw Indy, he was still dealing with those troublesome Nazis. Nearly 20 years later, he's faced with new adversaries, old girlfriends, Area 51 and possibly aliens? A gutsy move by story creator George Lucas, who insists this new direction will click with crowds. Isn't that what he said about the last three "Star Wars"?
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE (Nov. 21) -- Teen angst and romance continue to flourish at Hogwarts, while Harry searches for Lord Voldemort's vulnerability. Ron becomes an object of affection, while Hermione boils over in silence and the make-a-quid Weasley twins expand their enterprises like they're shooting for guest spots on "The Apprentice."
THE DARK KNIGHT (July 18) -- Despite the recent passing of Heath Ledger, who plays the Joker in this latest "Batman" installment, Warner Bros. says the release will go on as planned. It should be noted that Ledger reportedly spent a month alone in a hotel room working on his disturbing character for the film. Possibly as a result, a growing insomnia developed that was still with him until his final days. That's going to make this tough to watch.
MAMMA MIA! (July 18) -- With a potential cloud on the Batman movie, this feel-good romp could pick up the undecideds looking for more mirth than mayhem. Based on the Broadway ABBA musical and set in the Greek Isles, it's about a bride-to-be who wants to invite her father to the wedding, only she doesn't know whether it's Sam, Bill or Harry -- and Mamma Meryl isn't talking. So she invites all three, including Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth and Stellan Skarsgard, in this singing edition of "Who's Your Daddy."
STAR TREK XI (Dec. 25) -- The space nerds are already in a tizzy over the teaser trailer, as it shows an Enterprise being built on land and not in space dock! Plus the name is emblazoned on the ship before it's even done! Wouldn't Star Fleet wait to put the name on after the Rear Admiral's final inspection!? I love it when sci-fi dweebs get frothy. It might be the only action they see this year.
IRON MAN (May 2) -- Oops, check that. Here's another chance. Wisecracking weapons inventor Robert Downey Jr. survives an accident, but is forced to develop a life support suit to stay alive. Let's just say, he puts in a few extra gadgets for fun, turning away from being a money-grubbing twerp to becoming a supersonic superhero. Looks like RoboCop with snazzy rockets shooting out of his . . . well . . . I didn't look that closely, to be honest.
SEX AND THE CITY (May 30) -- Up until a minute ago, I would have sworn the name of that HBO series was "Sex IN the City." It makes more sense. Sex in the city, sex in the limo, sex in the hallway. Not many details on this one, other than I'm sure Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte are in various stages of emotionally charged relationship chaos. I did notice Mr. Big is back, which has got to be one of the coolest character names in show biz.
X-FILES 2 (July 25) -- This supposedly stand-alone movie catches up with the original Fox Mulder and Dana Scully six years after the end of the TV series. It apparently features something more along the lines of the supernatural and shies away from the alien thread that dominated the first movie. Duchovny and Anderson return, but at one point a new director (Rich Tracer) was listed. Turns out, it's an anagram for series creator "Chris Carter" who is apparently creating his own "X-File."
HANCOCK (July 2) -- Not every superhero is a role model. Hancock (Will Smith) is a degenerate, bench-sleepin' loafer who doesn't feel all that motivated to rescue every dang critter that gets stuck in a tree. He's tired. He's lazy. And he looks hilarious. Finally, somebody takes a shot at superheroes the way Damon Wayans did with "Handiman" on "In Living Color."
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (May 16) -- Those nice kids from the last movie were away a year, but in Narnia time, 1,300 years have passed. It's not the place they left behind, and a young man who is supposed to claim the throne has not. Time to roll up their sleeves once again and fight for good ol' Narnia. I, for one, will miss the goat guy, Mr. Tumnus.
QUANTUM OF SOLACE (Nov. 7) -- What kind of lame-o title is this? What is 007? James Bond the science guy? Shouldn't it be something like "Tomorrow Is Not Enough" or "Dr. Oh-No-You-Didn't"? This is said to pick up two minutes after the end of "Casino Royale," but producers say the franchise will go off in an entirely new direction for today's James Bond. Not sure I like the sound of that.
THE INCREDIBLE HULK (June 13) -- Your memory doesn't fail you. Marvel Comics tried to do a big "Hulk" movie five years ago, but it bombed miserably. So, it's hoping you'll give them a do-over so it can start fresh. Interested? How about starting with a Hulk lurking in the shadows (Edward Norton), then have the Russians create the Hulk nemesis "The Abomination" (Tim Roth), then bring in some frightened New Yorkers and the love of Dr. Banner's life, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler)? Now are you interested?
SPEED RACER (May 9) -- Does anyone else think this looks like "Tron" crossed with "Cars," married to a live-action "Meet the Robinsons"? It looks so busy, sales of Tylenol should triple. How could actor Emile Hirsch go from an Oscar-caliber performance in "Into the Wild" to this? Dude, seriously, we have to talk. And hey, Wachowskis, this just in, "The Matrix" isn't real and you've been called back to planet Earth.
GET SMART (June 20) -- The rules for redoing popular TV series is as follows: If any of the old players are still alive, they have to at least have a cameo. Don Adams has died, but where is the original Agent 99, Barbara Feldon? She's still around. That doesn't mean I don't have high hopes for Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway, but where's the love here? Come on, get smart, people.
THE HAPPENING (June 13) -- Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel try to survive an environmental disaster that's apparently man-made, but no one seems to know much else about this M. Night Shyamalan thriller -- other than it had better be a whole lot more interesting than "Lady in the Water" or he'll be starring in his next movie, "Twist-Happy Director in Hot Water."
THE LOVE GURU (June 20) -- Mike Myers? Where has he been hiding? Oh yeah, that whole ogre thing. Well, now he's back in the flesh as Pitka the guru, who's been raised by spiritual holy men outside of America. So we can expect some zany new accent. Plus, he's hired to settle a lover's dispute between two hockey players and a woman (rumored to be Jessica Simpson). If anyone else tried to sell us this bucket of fish, I don't know, but Myers has earned the benefit of the doubt.
LEATHERHEADS (April 4) -- George Clooney stars and directs this comedic look into the world of 1920s pro football, where he tries to steal the fiancee of the star player. The writing smacks of rapid-fire "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" without the Coens being anywhere in sight. Could be a neat play if he can pull it off. He will rely on Renee Zellweger, John Krasinski and slapstick to score here.
BURN AFTER READING (TBA) -- Speak of the devils. Normally, I wouldn't include a movie that mixes a drunken CIA operative with a workout gym crew in our nation's capital, along with some Internet dating, but check out this cast and crew -- the Coen brothers, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich and Tilda Swinton. I'm told it's a dark spy-comedy. Enough said. Just tell me where and when to show up.
WALL-E (June 27) -- My first thought was "Hey, Number Five Alive!" But then I realized it was the Pixar Kids and I knew there would be something more. A robot has spent 700 years doing the same thing every day, but will take a chance that will lead him to the life he was meant to live. Sounds kind of cute, but I'm told not to expect too much in the way of dialogue. I guess we'll have to trust Pixar.
HORTON HEARS A WHO! (March 14) -- Based on the Dr. Seuss story. Horton the Elephant (voiced by Jim Carrey) hears a cry for help on a speck of dust and discovers the residents of Whoville. Only no one else in his big world believes him. Will he be true to his word as their protector or will he bow to pressure? Who knows?
STARSHIP DAVE (May 30) -- One thing you have to admire about Eddie Murphy, he keeps swinging away. After the misery of Norbit, he's trying to get back on top with this tale of a spaceship that comes to Earth shaped like a human being (I assume Murphy), run by tiny aliens inside. Hilarity supposedly ensues when the captain of the human spaceship falls in love with an actual Earth female. If this is another "Earth Girls Are Easy," I'm jumping off the planetarium.
WANTED (June 27) -- This is a film about choices as a sheepish man (James McAvoy) learns his father was once a part of a fraternity of enforcer assassins. Now he'll get a chance to play with the big dogs, including Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. What do you think he'll do? Stay with the lambs or run with Angie? Well, I hope he chooses carelessly; otherwise, this will be a ridiculously boring story about CPAs in cubicles.
FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (May 30) -- OK, I fully get that producer Judd Apatow must be one of Satan's minions because I can't stop laughing at his movies. This breakup tale follows some poor schlub (Jason Segel) who gets dumped by the beautiful Kristen Bell, only to end up on the same Hawaiian vacation, in the same hotel, in adjoining rooms, only she's with a British rock star and he's flying solo. Humiliation knows no bounds, as do Apatow's demonic comedies.
NIM'S ISLAND (April 4) -- You might want to sit down for this one. Jodie Foster's going for laughs. She plays an adventure writer who never leaves her house, but gets a distressed letter from a young fan (Abigail Breslin) who desperately needs her help on a faraway island. She summons her courage and with the help of a familiar fictitious character (Gerard Butler), she steps way outside her comfort zone. Gee, I hope this isn't dumb.
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (Nov. 26) -- Based on an F. Scott Fitzgerald short story. Benjamin Button (Brad Pitt) is born an old man and gets younger as he goes through life. How they pull this off is anyone's guess, but extensive CGI effects explain why we won't see this until late November. I have seen pictures of the "old" infant Brad and it's pretty bizarre-looking. I believe Cate Blanchett plays a love interest in there somewhere -- the story deals with true love despite a difference in ages.
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