'Bangkok' dangerously bad ... and so is Nicolas Cage's hair
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No comments [ Add Comment ]By STEVE SALLES
Standard-Examiner movie critic
MOVIE TRAILER: Bangkok Dangerous
While watching this so-so assassin movie, I couldn't figure out if it was "aimed" at inviting tourists to Bangkok or wishing they were all dead.
One day, this hired gun is taking out bad guys in Thailand; the next, he's traveling to exotic locales in the area with his girlfriend pharmacist. "Hey look, honey! This is that famous temple we saw in the brochures!"
But when he's working, Joe (Nicolas Cage) is pretty much all business. He carefully lays out his four rules to live by: Don't ask questions, don't trust anyone, don't leave any traces, and don't overstay your welcome.
And right after he announces his killer credo, he goes about breaking every one of them.
He questions one of his four assignments because it turns out the target is a force for good in Thailand and is beloved by the people. "Sorry, I only kill criminals. No political assassinations! It's in sub paragraph B if you read the contract!"
Then, he not only trusts his errand runner, Kong, for no apparent reason, but also proceeds to teach him the tricks of the trade. Just because he asked nicely?
Trusting strangers and letting him live -- oops, there go rules two and three.
And finally, Joe not only doesn't know when to get out, his whole enterprise is in deep jeopardy because he breaks all of his own guidelines and decides to "care."
Frankly, the smartest thing about this script is that they gave Joe a cute, sweet deaf girlfriend and they never have to talk. Thus, no silly dialogue to kill time between kills. They just bow toward each other and smile a lot.
Now I brought up the bad hair in my fall preview piece -- and that was before I saw it on the big screen. Giving Cage the benefit of the doubt, let's call his follicle follies a "thinning" experience.
If that is his real hair, which some of my colleagues scoff at, why is it so long and scraggly? He's starting to look like the butler Riff Raff on "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."
Whatever it is, it's a mess and calls attention to itself and otherwise detracts from Cage's performance -- oh, wait, now I get it.
Hair aside, "Bangkok Dangerous" felt much tamer than I had anticipated, and the wrap-up pizza was covered in extra cheese -- and to top it off, I'm pretty sure I caught a whiff of anchovies. Yuck!
REVIEW
* THE FILM: 'Bangkok Dangerous'
* OUR RATING: **
* STARRING: Nicolas Cage, Shahkrit Yamnarm, Charlie Yeung, Panward Hemmanee and Nirattisai Kalijaruek.
* BEHIND THE SCENES: Directed by Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang ('The Messengers,' 'The Eye'). Filmed in Bangkok, Thailand, and Prague, Czech Republic.
* PLAYING: Layton Hills 9, Megaplex 13, Motor-Vu Drive-In (with 'The Longshots'), Layton TInseltown, Newgate Tinseltown. Runs 100 minutes.
* MPAA RATING: R
