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No Comments [ Add Comment ]Mind your manners
By NANCYVAN VALKENBURG
The five kids squirmed in their white wicker chairs as they sat in the formal, paneled and beamed basement of the Victorian mansion.
A neon-green flip-flop, dangling from the toes of a leg too short to reach the floor, flipped off, flopping to the parquet.
"How do we sit politely in a chair?" asked Mariko Rollins, charged with teaching manners and etiquette to the students, ages 5, 6 and 7.
Everyone sat up straight for about a second, except for the one little girl who hopped down to retrieve her foam footwear. Then it was back to discussing formal introductions, party behavior, dinner-table etiquette, thank-you notes and situational courtesy.
Rollins was good-natured about keeping the group on topic, despite the whimsical wanderings of very young minds.
"It's hard for them," Rollins said later. "They know what to do, but they get so excited, especially with other kids around."
Rollins, 25, a California native and Ogden resident, was teaching her first course at the Eccles Community Art Center. Her second course, on manners for kids 8 to 12, begins Monday afternoon.
"It's really about poise, communication skills and confidence skills," Rollins said. "But we spend a lot of time on table manners, and we thought calling it a manners class would be more concrete than calling it a life skills class."
The children practiced posture, standing before a mirror in the elegant classroom, which had an old-room smell a little like vintage books and raisins. Dillon Housel, 7, of Ogden, pretended he could step through the looking glass.
Back in their wicker seats, each child was invited to share manner-related stories from the previous week.
"I introduced myself, and told a boy at school when it was time to go in," said Amber Dranney, 6, of Riverdale. "He kicked me in the legs."
That boy had a clear case of bad manners, Rollins explained.
Iris Ford, 5 3/4 years old and from Huntsville, had better success.
"I introduced myself to three people this week, and asked them to play, and they did," said the wispy-haired blonde with the wayward flip-flops.
Austin Hill, 6 and from South Ogden, raised his hand excitedly.
"I can do this, but it's not polite," he said, opening his eyelids wide and stretching his lips enough to show every last tooth and an astonishing amount of gums.
Six-year-old Olivia Arbogast, of Eden, broke into a broad smile that revealed the empty spaces where her two front baby teeth used to be.
The teacher
Rollins teaches figure skating and hockey to children at the Weber County Ice Sheet, so she has some relevant experience.
"Kids this age are unpredictable," she said, with cheerful acceptance in her voice. "I have tried not to have expectations when I go in each week, and every week they surprise me with how much information they retained and can repeat back to me. They are self-aware, which is the most important part. Every week, I asked them what they felt like they needed to work on most, and they could tell me. It's pretty amazing. Kids are smart."
Rollins took similar classes when she was a child.
"I was the only girl of four boys, including my twin, in my big, happy family, and we were all within six years of each other," she said. "My mother was pretty busy, so I started taking classes at different schools. I started with a ballroom-dance class, and I took a comedy class to improve my communication. I took classes from a woman who owned a spa, and who taught etiquette and grooming. All through high school, I kept taking classes that would help me with personal development. I took skating classes that helped me with presentation, which is huge. With my coaching, I've always been into teaching kids to present themselves confidently."
Rollins and her family frequently visited Utah to ski, and she enrolled at Weber State University on the advice of friends. She graduated with a degree in English and an art minor, and has remained in Ogden because she likes it.
She enjoys teaching in nontraditional settings, which is why she contacted the Eccles Community Art Center to see if the center was looking for teachers.
"I feel really good about the class," she said, of her etiquette course. "I feel like the children are learning things they can use for the rest of their lives."
Another lesson
Back at the Eccles, the kids moved upstairs for snacks in the formal dining room. With lots of prompting, the easily distracted group set the table with paper plates, napkins and plastic cups, and carried in orange wedges, juices and crackers from the kitchen. Finally, everyone settled onto dinner chairs upholstered with light blue velvet.
"Where is everyone's napkin?" Rollins asked. "On your laps? No, they are not."
Amber looked around.
"Is that all we are getting?" she asked.
Rollins added a bag of Goldfish crackers to the feast, and reminded Iris to chew with her mouth closed.
"Where's my drink?" Olivia asked.
"Dillon, get your elbows off the table," Rollins suggested.
"If you bite these oranges, it tastes kind of like orange juice," Austin said.
"Where's my drink?" Olivia asked.
"Amber, we don't sit on our feet," Rollins said.
"I got a new puppy," Austin said.
"Where's my drink?" Olivia asked.
"What kind of juice do you want?" Rollins asked.
"I don't want any," Olivia answered.
An infectious giggle slowly worked its way around the table.
"How do we make people chew with their mouths closed?" Olivia asked.
Rollins considered the question.
"We might say, 'I sure like it when people chew with their mouths closed,' " she said.
"I was!" Iris insisted.
Report card
Austin Hill enjoyed the classes: "I knew it would be pretty fun. I liked addressing letters and shaking hands with a new person."
Mary Ann Nistler signed up son Austin and niece Amber, knowing they would keep each other motivated.
"As cousins, they compete with each other," said Nistler, of South Ogden. "If you put them together, they do better. And if the rules come from someone they will listen to, it's always better for everybody."
Lisa Arbogast, of Eden, understands that principle.
"When I try to teach Olivia the same things at home, she says, 'Oh, Mom, I already know that.' Here, she feels so grown-up because there is a teacher and other students, and she's discovering this information on her own.
"She likes to come home and tell me about it, like how you introduce someone older to someone younger, and a lady to a man, and an adult to a child. She's proud of what she has learned."
Cindy Ford said Iris had just become intrigued with a Barbie video about a princess who learns etiquette when the listing for Eccles classes, including the three-session manners course, arrived in the mail.
"She's taken classes at the Eccles before," Ford said. "The 'Mad Scientist' classes are her favorites. She goes to a Montessori school in Eden where they teach courtesy and grace, so she already knew a lot, but this class taught her about table settings. I've noticed she puts her napkin on her lap when she eats, and she didn't used to."
Iris Ford loved the classes.
"I knew all those things, but it was fun," she said. "Last night, I played soccer and I scored a goal. And I caught a fish before, but I let it go. I liked making the 'thank-you' cards the best. I did make a new friend, though. He is a new person in class called Joshua. I saw that he was new, and I introduced myself. And now we are friends."
For more information about the Eccles Community Art Center, visit www.ogden4arts.org or call 392-6935.
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