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No Comments [ Add Comment ]Does togetherness work in the gym?
By BECKY WRIGHTIt's that time again -- when a lot of people make New Year's resolutions to take better care of their bodies. Couples considering a pact to exercise together should think it through carefully.
"It can either be an extremely beneficial and bonding experience, or it can be your worst nightmare," said Gregory Florez of Salt Lake City, a spokesman for the American Council on Exercise.
If you're thinking about exercising with your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend, Florez recommends discussing the pros and cons.
Togetherness
Pro: Working out together is, in a way, multitasking.
"The single biggest reason people don't stick with an exercise program is that they say they don't have enough time, and part of that is that it takes time away from their family," said Florez. "Time at the gym can be great, because it's time you and your spouse can spend, without distractions, doing something together that's really beneficial for you."
Jean and Laurie Babilis of Ogden started working out together more than a year ago.
"We've been married for 30 years, and feel it's really enhanced our relationship significantly," said Jean Babilis.
Florez says exercising may also help couples under stress, because it releases "feel-good" endorphins.
Con: Not everyone wants to exercise with a partner.
"Most of the women who come here hate going to gyms that are coed," said Dorothy Thompson, manager of Curves for Women in Kaysville. "They don't want to worry about what they look like when they work out."
And for some folks, exercise is "me" time.
"It's kind of our time for ourselves. We do almost everything else together," said Craig Allen of Hooper, who does not exercise with his wife.
Commitment
Pro: Couples are more likely to show up at the gym, because they've made a commitment to each other.
"It's easy to buy a treadmill or join a gym and get started, but all that matters is sticking with it," said Florez, adding that about 70 percent of people quit within six months.
"Working out with a partner, whether it's a spouse, friend or personal trainer, you have another motivator, and that motivator provides accountability."
Con: Both parties have to be equally committed.
"If someone isn't as into it as much as the other person, sometimes you get one person holding the other back," said Jasmine Sessions, who trains a few couples through her Farmington company, Inspire Fitness. "If someone doesn't want to exercise, sometimes that leads to a little bit of resentment."
Florez agrees, warning, "Don't say yes unless you want to do it -- if you do, it can create problems and move you even further away."
Goals
Pro: When couples share a common goal, exercising together is fairly simple.
Tammy and Larry Wentland, of Morgan, started exercising together with the goal of hiking the Grand Canyon from rim to rim. Because of that, they could do basically the same exercises.
Con: Couples with different goals need different workouts.
"A lot of guys want to get bigger and stronger, and women are looking to lose weight and trim down, so the plan for each of them would be different," said Arlo Gagestein, owner of Competitive Edge Fitness and Nutrition in Ogden.
Style
Pro: Working out together can broaden your horizons.
"I did a lot of spinning, weightlifting and racquetball, and she did tennis, walking and some aerobics. We never had the same desire to do things," said Jean Babilis.
"Working with a personal trainer, he was able to combine our likes. We might do aerobics one day, and weight training another -- he even does warm-ups with yoga stretching. ... We basically picked up the ability to do everything together."
Con: Not everyone enjoys the same type of exercise or environment.
Craig Allen says he's comfortable in a gym, under the direction of a trainer.
"My wife ... she's kind of introverted and she likes to do her own thing. For her, not doing it in a structured manner, but doing it in her way, is what she likes to do the best," he said.
Connie Allen enjoys an hourlong swim, and says her husband doesn't like swimming.
Level and skill
Pro: Many exercises can be modified to allow for unequal fitness levels.
For example, one person can walk faster on a treadmill, or lift heavier weights, said Gagestein.
Con: Some exercises don't accommodate different levels of fitness or skill.
Robert Wilkins and Mary Ann Coral of Ogden choose not to exercise together, in part, for this reason.
"He likes to play racquetball, and although I play, I don't do it very well. He doesn't feel challenged," she said.
A point to consider if you like running outdoors: "Unless a woman is very fit, she's probably not going to be able to run at the same speed," said Sessions.
Schedule
Pro: If couples really want to work out together, they can usually find a way to mesh schedules.
"I just went in with Jean, on his schedule, early in morning," said Laurie Babilis. "I'm not a great morning person, but ... it gets me going for the rest of the day."
Con: Schedules can be tricky.
Thompson says a lot of women don't want the pressure of trying to work their schedule around their husbands.
And sometimes, one partner has a different internal clock.
"I like to lift weights and do that kind of stuff, but not at 7 a.m.," Connie Allen said, adding, "He goes to the gym, then goes to work, so we'd have to drive separately."
MAKING IT WORK
If you want to work out as a couple, experts and exercisers have a few tips for making it work:
Don't overcommit. "Undercommit versus overcommit, or you set yourself up for failure," said Gregory Florez of the American Council on Exercise.
Don't train each other. "It's the same story as why you don't teach your wife to drive. There's a psychological advantage to having someone else, who's a professional, doing the training rather than your spouse," said Mary Ann Coral of Ogden, who has been a personal trainer but doesn't coach her husband.
Don't criticize. "Do not give them tips or coaching unless they specifically ask for it," warns Florez, comparing it to household chores. "I hate when my wife tells me how to load the dishwasher -- it makes me want to do it worse."
Encourage; don't compete. "I think if you compete with each other, one of you is going to get tired fast," said Craig Allen of Hooper.
Mix it up. Take advantage of having a workout partner by doing exercises that require two people, such as tossing a medicine ball, said Arlo Gagestein, owner of Competitive Edge Fitness and Nutrition in Ogden.
Get outdoors and enjoy walks, hikes or cross-country skiing, said Florez. "They're more conducive to being at the same level, and conversing, and time goes by quickly if you do that."
Enjoy the results. Larry and Tammy Wentland of Morgan enjoyed a hike of the Grand Canyon, and added several others, including a 16-mile trek in Yellowstone.
"We've been to some beautiful places," said Larry, adding that they couldn't have shared the trips without sharing the workouts first.
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