Skidding and fibbing don't mix.
When will we ever learn?
Two words of advice for Bobby Petrino: training wheels.
Petrino rode his motorcycle off a country road and into a ditch, then lied about having his girlfriend onboard.
The crash-and-lie combo plate cost Petrino his Arkansas football coaching job, $20 million in future pay, his dignity and possibly his family, his girlfriend, his girlfriend's job and his motorcycle license.
Other than that -- and his four broken ribs and busted neck vertebrae -- it was a groovy ride in the country.
Bad as it was, it wasn't the costliest two-person cycle-and-fib caper in recent sports history.
That honor goes to Greek Olympic sprinters Kostas Kenteris and Katerina Thanou. Just before the start of the 2004 Olympics in Athens, the two were allegedly injured in a motorcycle spill and hospitalized. Kenteris was the defending 200-meter gold medalist, and Thanou won the 100-meter silver in 2000. Neither competed in the Athens Games.
Kenteris was a national hero on the scale of a Muhammad Ali or a Michael Jordan. His scratch was a stunning Greek tragedy. Petrino embarrassed only a university, and that's garden-variety stuff these days.
The Greek sprinters were charged with faking the crash to evade a doping test. Only recently were they acquitted of the charges, but the damage will never be undone, and many questions remain unanswered about the "accident."
Honorable mention in the crash-and-lie competition, solo division, to San Francisco Bay Area legends Monta Ellis and Jeff Kent.
Ellis crashed a moped in 2008, after signing a big contract. He tore up an ankle and fibbed that he hurt himself playing basketball. Penalty for the accident and clumsy cover-up: 30-game suspension by the team, plus loss of love, money and faith on both sides.
Kent broke a wrist in spring training 2002, claiming he slipped while washing his truck. That was an obvious lie -- cowboys don't wash their pickups. The truth was soon reported: Kent fell off his motorcycle while trying to run down Barry Bonds.
Just kidding. Actually Kent fell trying to pop a wheelie. He could have saved face if only he'd dressed up his motorcycle to look like a rodeo bull.