Some things make me laugh

Monday , August 13, 2012 - 12:48 PM

Homer M. (Tex) Beauchamp

Well folks, it has been a wonderful 20 years in Utah. I have enjoyed writing these editorials for the Standard-Examiner for the past year but it’s time to say goodbye. My wife and I want to watch our new great-granddaughter grow up so we’re moving to be near her. Thanks to all of you who have been complimentary about my editorials. Many of you told me that I expressed opinions you shared and gave you a voice. I am honored you feel that way.

Although I am a naturally serious-minded person, I also love a good laugh so I will miss Utah politics. I’ll truly miss the misadventures of the Keystone Kops, often called the State Legislature, and the online comments on the Standard-Examiner’s website regarding editorials and letters to the editor. The critics can be a bit mean-spirited but they can also be quite entertaining and … they make me laugh. It’s always amusing to read their attempts to "refute" documented facts with Faux facts. And while they are mostly comedic reruns of Limbaugh, Hannity, Beck, O’Reilly, etc. I will miss their daily repartee because … I do love a good laugh.

Speaking of which; how about that Mitt Romney?

How about that circus parade through Great Britain, Israel and Poland to test his foreign policy skills and his "how-to-pander to-donors-and-alienate-allies" techniques? Diplomacy clearly isn’t Mitt’s long suit but watching his entourage of pooper scoopers cleaning up the messes their lead elephant left behind was a hoot … if you like slapstick.

Then there’s still that Bain mess that just won’t go away. Mitt, a piece of advice ... when you run for president on the strength of your business record at Bain to show you know how to create jobs, your Bain experience is in play ... all of it. You can’t hide from it any more than you can hide from your track record as the 47th state in job creation while you were governor of Massachusetts. So don’t start whining when the Democrats point out that Bain also closed plants, fired workers and outsourced jobs while you and your comrades pocketed millions. Watching you try to deflect attention away from the truth about Bain by claiming the Democrats are waging a war against capitalism or against success or waging class warfare makes me laugh in the way only the utterly absurd can make one laugh.

Most Democrats agree that capitalism is part of what makes our country great. None of them said capitalism or venture capital is bad. They simply explained that venture capitalists are in the business of making profit, not creating jobs. And the only ones fighting your trumped-up war against success are you and your cronies. Your anti-education policies, anti-union policies, anti-health care policies and your budgets which cut social programs are all obstacles to success and make day-to-day survival an uphill battle.

But there is indeed class warfare. The rich started it years ago by financially influencing politicians to write tax policy that favors the wealthy at the expense of the poor and middle class. The wealthy are winning that war hands down. Further, the policy you resist so vehemently of asking the rich to pay a higher tax rate has been the norm since the beginning of income taxes. Even before income taxes, our founding fathers taxed luxury goods only the rich could afford. The progressive tax policy is in the genes of this country and is based on the simple and reasonable premise that the rich are able to pay more than those barely scratching out a living. Instead, you want to give us Romneyhood! As I watch you and the GOP try to justify stuffing your wallets with more tax cuts for the wealthy I’m reminded of that old TV episode of Lucille Ball stuffing candy in her mouth as the conveyor belt speeds up and it makes me laugh.

Mitt, another piece of advice ... refusing to release your tax returns makes you look bad … really bad … like you have something awful to hide. Do you? We already know you park money in off shore accounts to avoid paying U.S. taxes. We already know you pay a lower rate than Warren Buffet’s secretary. So what are you afraid of? What’s the big secret? Your tip-toe, song and dance tactics, "someone else manages my money", "I paid all the taxes I owe," "you’ll just have to take my word for it," etc. make for great musical comedy … and they show your lack of credibility. When we’re left to wonder what you’re hiding we will assume the worst and right now ... the way you’re handling it is a bad joke! But it makes me laugh.

Beauchamp is a retired aerospace marketing director and consultant and is a member of the local Coffee Party

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