For some outlandish reason, high school boys seem to think that dating is some huge deal. Yet as one of my best friends put it, "You don't have to be totally in love with each other to go on a date!"
During this high school experience, almost everyone is confused. Nobody has life all completely figured out and they most definitely don't know what to do in every situation. So asking someone to go on an excursion, or date, with you is a scary thing! Believe me, guys! We girls, we get it and we understand that.
However, that doesn't let you boys off the hook. Sometimes it's appropriate for girls to ask the boy, but not always. In general the boys of this generation are getting less bold every day. For instance, my same friend's dad gave me some advice and told me that I needed to teach the boys that it's OK to ask a girl out and how to do it.
Guys either don't date or they ask someone on a date indirectly, say for dances and such. Going to dances is really fun, but small group dates are more personal and a lot less awkward.
In terms of asking someone out, I really loved a line off of "Teen Spirit" about confidence -- "Nobody actually has it, you just have to project it." At first that might not make sense to your brain, but think it through and you'll see it's actually really good advice for boys and girls, and not just for dating.
Show the people in your high school that you are an excellent actor or actress by projecting confidence. If you look like you have got it all under control, things will fall into place, and even if they don't, it's totally OK.
Nervous is OK
Guys, if you're afraid to ask someone out, just think about some of these points. First, despite what you think, girls don't judge you if you stutter or shake, or your hands are clammy. Just the fact that you're nervous to talk to us is flattering!
Secondly, when guys mess up and laugh at themselves it's cute. It isn't like we girls sit around and say things like, "OMG did you see what he did today? He totally had a fail moment trying to talk to me, and there is no way I'm wasting my time on that one." If a girl ever says that it's totally rude, disrespectful and just plain tacky.
And, if you ever hear that a girl says that or you find out that's just the kind of girl she is, she isn't worth your time trying to pursue and getting nowhere when she has already made up her mind.
Also, guys, OPEN YOUR EYES! A lot of the time there's a girl right in your little group of friends that has a crush on you and is dying to get some of your attention. Boys break hearts every single day when they overlook girls right around them and go instead for the girl who has supposedly everything (which is a total myth.)
As the poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox said, "There's one sad truth in life I've found, While journeying east and west -, The only folks we really wound, Are those we love the best. We flatter those we scarcely know, We please the fleeting guest, And deal full many a thoughtless blow, To those who love us best."
Drop the fantasy
On the subject of dating, there's something to be said to the girls as well. Girls are getting bolder and boys are being shy. Let's switch that role shall we? HINT to the menfolk: Girls want to be asked out by a guy! Yet it seems like more girls are going out and fighting for their dreams and dates, and the boys are sitting back and watching life happen.
Also, girls, sure, there are plenty of pictures out there of that "hot guy," but chances are slim that any one of us will get to even have a normal conversation with these models/actors without them pinning us as a drooling fan. Take that fantasy and chuck it out of your head.
If you think there are no attractive males at your high school, you are terribly mistaken. They're everywhere, people! We need to set aside the notion that the stereotypical guy for us is tall, dark, muscular and drop-dead gorgeous.
The same advice for boys works for girls too. You don't have to be in love with that person to take them out! And girls, don't expect so much of the guy. He does not owe you an expensive and extravagant date just because you like him and he asked you out. Put on your best smile whether you like him or not and be determined to have fun no matter your circumstance.
Taylor Deem is a junior at Fremont High School. Email her at email@example.com.