A Twinkie week full of garbage and beer and doughnuts

Dec 1 2012 - 9:20pm

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A nice lady called who did not give her name, but said she had been to the Rescue Mission donating stuff and the staff complained that, while her donations were wonderful, so many people donated absolute junk that it was costing them money to have the garbage hauled away.

She said she heard of someone in another city who picked up the garbage from the local charity, hauled it to the dump, got a receipt for the dumping costs and got that receipt countersigned by the charity.

That cost, plus the mileage, was then claimed as a charitable donation on their income taxes, this lady said.

The Rescue Mission, Deseret Industries and others have huge garbage bills because a lot of donations are of the "it just needs a little work" or "the poor won't mind the holes" variety.

Come on folks, put yourself in their shoes.

Sure, they say beggars can't be choosers, but that doesn't mean donors can't be selective. Give good stuff, or at least fix it first.

If your jeans have holes, the lawn mower blew a gasket or you've got a lot of stuff that even the "fill-this-bag-for-$1" deal at the end of your garage sale wouldn't move, toss it.

And please use the appropriate recycling bin.

* Speaking of tossing recyclables, I was recently called a "beer snob" by a co-worker for preferring Utah-brewed brands, especially Ogden's.

Hey, I shop local. Is it my fault it's better? Utah's many fine craft beers, especially Ogden's, are why I quit home brewing.

There may be a social responsibility component here.

On Thursday I did litter patrol along 2nd Street between BDO and Wall Avenue. The only littered beer containers I found were national brands with the word "lite" in the name.

While one day's litter hardly makes a statistically valid sample, and I hesitate to draw stereotypes, I like to think people who appreciate good beer also have better community sense, or at least drink at home, not while driving down 2nd Street.

In short, better a beer snob than a beer slob.

* We ran a story Friday that BYU students are trying for a Guinness world record by making a 1,345-foot-long "maple doughnut bar."

I really hate it when people destroy the English language.

Webster's says "doughnut" is "a small, usually ring-shaped cake of sweetened leavened dough, fried in deep fat."

Calling something a "doughnut bar" is the same as saying something is a "round square." You can use that "usually" to weasel out if you want, but there's nothing small or circular about a cake 1,345 feet long.

Now, have one guy, or even the football team, eat the whole thing, I'll say you've got something.

The current world record for real doughnut eating is six regulation round ones, six centimeters in diameter with jam in the center, in three minutes.

* Speaking of cakes, the saga of the National Twinkie Disaster continues to fascinate.

I see where the Hostess executives will be getting $1.8 million in bonuses to shut the company down. Meanwhile, the 18,000 fired workers, including more than 300 who showed up at a job fair in Ogden last week, get bupkis. Hostess even quit paying into their employee pension plan.

Losing 300 jobs puts a big hole in our community's economic recovery plan. Maybe the fired employees can get new jobs with companies lining up to buy Hostess factories and brands.

Anyone care to bet if they'll be paid the same?

The Wasatch Rambler is the opinion of Charles Trentelman. He can be reached at 801-625-4232, or ctrentelman@standard.net. He also blogs at www.standard.net.

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