Did you really have to do that?
I know you love your kids a lot. Many of us dads love our kids a lot.
We agree with "Modern Family" dad Jay Pritchett, who says: "When all is said and done, 90 percent of being a dad is just showing up."
But Phil, you are taking this father thing to a whole new level.
Yes, you have advantages that most of us don't have. You're not just a 1 percenter, you're in the upper half of the 1 percenters. That helps. Don't worry. We know you've earned your money, and we don't begrudge your riches. This, however, goes way beyond buying your kid the nicest new car in the school parking lot.
You flew across country for your daughter's eighth-grade graduation, even though it took place roughly 12 hours before you had to be at work. Not just any work.
Your job? Round One of the U.S. Open Championship, being played at Merion Golf Club in Ardmore, Pa.
How are the rest of us supposed to compete with that? "I can't be there, I'm sorry, I have to work," can be a legitimate reason to miss one of life's special events. At least it has been for us mere-mortal dads, until now. Until you took a private plane from Philadelphia to San Diego earlier this week.
Until you spent the two days before the U.S. Open -- a tournament you've finished in second place five times now -- sacrificing precious course knowledge that could mean the difference between winning or not.
Until you went to your daughter's eighth-grade graduation Wednesday night and then took the private red eye overnight back to Philly. Until you went straight from the airport to the golf course arriving at 5:37 a.m., a mere 94 minutes before your tee time.
Word of this better not get out because sometimes we dads feel guilty enough missing some of our families' special moments while trying to earn a living. But now, we might feel our children are looking back at us with not just disappointment on their faces, but with a look that says, "You know if Phil Mickelson was my dad, he'd be here."
Stab me in the heart, why don't you, Phil?
Not only that but you do all this just days before Father's Day! Really? Now when I get the traditional gift certificate and a card that says, "To the Best Dad in the World," I'll know it's a lie. I'm not the best dad in the world. Phil Mickelson is.
Damn you, Phil.
Your daughter Amanda already knew how much you love her. We all did. Heck, you proved that before she was born.
We remember while in contention at the 1999 U.S. Open, you walking around Pinehurst with a beeper awaiting word of your wife Amy going into labor. You told the world you would withdraw from the tournament, even if leading (which you were until the 71st hole) if that beeper went off because you were not going to miss your daughter's birth.
There are a lot of daughters that think they are daddy's little girl, but Phil, but you really should have thought this through. Your actions are going to cause other dads some emotional family trauma.
Therapists everywhere will simply refer to the damage done to many father-daughter relationships as "the Mickelson effect."
Who knows, for the golfer accused of overthinking and putting too much pressure on himself to win the U.S. Open, maybe this putting life-first approach will result in that long-awaited win Sunday.
Which just happens to be not only Father's Day, but your 43rd birthday.
All kidding aside, Phil, many of us will be rooting for you. Job well done, sir.
Just don't ever do it again.
You're making the rest of us look bad.