A "man card" is an imaginary card given to men based on their manly actions. It can be temporarily revoked by other men in our society, if a man does something that is considered unmanly.
According to the Official Man Card website (www.officialmancard.com), women are not supposed to have any input or knowledge about what makes a man a man; however, sometimes it's good to have varied feedback. Also, someone has to clear up some odd myths about what it takes to be a man and point out how silly some stereotypes are, so here I am.
First, having multiple "honeys," "babies," "chicks" or what have you does not make you a man. It makes you a player, which is guys' way of nicely saying, "It's great that you're a chick magnet, but you're not a man." There are many terms people use when they can't call men the real thing such as male, guy, dude, player, pimp, brother, mack daddy, sugar daddy, plain daddy, sperm donor, spider, etc. It's just like margarine and butter ... it ain't the real thing.
Second, watching or looking at porn does not make you a man. It makes you a creep.
Third, smart is the new sexy. Now go out there and study some rocket science.
Finally, beating up anyone, especially women or children, does not make you a man. But it does make you some things that I'm sure they won't let me print in this newspaper.
All right, now that that's all cleared up, without any further ado, we present 15 Ways to Lose Your Man Card -- with a little female commentary.
1. Being a Taylor Swift fan
Yes, you can like her songs. No, you can't say so. Actually, this might apply to all female pop stars and most definitely to One Direction (because there is a reason it's called a boy band). So stop "feeling 22" and listen to some AC/DC.
2. Disliking camping
Come on! Fire, bugs, no running water. What's not to love?
3. Disliking sports
For some reason unbeknownst to me, it is apparently a crime against nature to dislike sports, especially manly ones like hockey, rugby, lacrosse and, of course, football. The exceptions are synchronized swimming, figure skating, ballroom dancing and ballet. Curling is all right, as long as it's not your hair.
4. Your dog is smaller than your knee when fully grown
The only exception to this rule is the bulldog, because those things are too ugly and butch to be girly.
5. Sending/giving greeting cards
If a man remembers someone's birthday, he deserves a card.
6. Dancing with hands above your head
The exception, of course, is the "Dirty Dancing" lift, because nothing says manly like lifting a girl in time to music. However, if you are a man and know what I mean by the "Dirty Dancing" lift, then your card has been revoked for the next hour.
7. Renting a chick-flick
We understand your girlfriend made you do it, but you still don't have a man card for the duration of the film.
8. Liking the chick-flick
It's understandable. Who doesn't love Noah and Allie? That doesn't mean it's acceptable.
9. Not riding up on someone's bumper at a red light
No, I don't know why guys feel the need to do this. Yes, I do find it annoying. Is it necessary? I guess.
10. Disliking "Die Hard"
Apparently it's a very manly movie ... "Welcome to the party, pal."
11. Asking for directions from anyone besides Siri
Actually, even asking Siri is questionable.
12. Relinquishing the remote control
Unless it's the end of the world, or you don't have a girlfriend to make you a sandwich, that remote doesn't leave your hand.
13. Letting your girlfriend dress you up as Edward Cullen
I think your man card should be permanently revoked if this happens.
14. Not liking red meat
Because nothing says manly like a blocked artery.
15. Not liking "Duck Dynasty"
It's like "Die Hard," but for television ... and with more rednecks ... and ducks.
Madison Ostberg is a recent graduate of Bonneville High School. Email her at email@example.com.