Communication breakdown between girls, boys
Tuesday , March 11, 2014 - 9:43 AM
Due to the fact that male and female minds are completely different, it is easy to become confused when talking to one another.
Today, you will learn some translations for “female speak.” I asked several seniors — both male and female — from Fremont, Box Elder and Roy high schools, via text message, what their thoughts were on the topic and got not-so-surprising results.
Shaina Heninger from Fremont High School says girls will often say, “No it’s OK, everything is fine,” when asked if something is wrong.
The reasoning behind this is, “Girls think that boys are smart enough to look into it and reach out and be more thoughtful, when really they take it literally and don’t think twice,” she says.
Hint: The first rule of thumb is that “fine” is a bad word in the female language. It is most certainly not the equivalent of “good.”
“If a girl says it’s fine, or ‘I’m fine,’ you should be really worried because things are definitely not fine,” said Preston Hodson, a student at Fremont High.
In a courtroom, lawyers tend to ask questions they already know the answers to. Girls are usually the same way. Whether consciously or subconsciously, she already knows the answer. Tread carefully; girls tend to find out about lies real quick.
“Whenever I say, ‘Oh really, is that so?,” it actually means ‘I know you’re lying to me and I’m very likely about to call you out on it, so brace yourself,’ ” said a Box Elder High senior who wanted to remain anonymous.
When a girl tries to make a guy jealous, she is calling him out. Her actions are screaming for him to buck up, tell her how he feels about her and to fight for her. However, a girl doesn’t see it the same way when her man is trying to make her jealous. A bomb explodes inside her and she is ready to start a war. If the girl has real feelings for the guy she will fight for him. She will hate the girl he used to make her jealous, resent him for his actions and become like unto a mama bear protecting her young to the death.
This is the worst game to play. Advice? Don’t play it.
Some girls may talk about their problems openly. But most of the time, a girl would like to be approached with a gentle, “What’s wrong?” or “What happened?” Note: this does NOT mean she wants to get advice. When she is telling you about a problem she is having with work, school or friends she wants someone to just listen. She does not want someone to interrupt her and say, “All you need to do is blah blah blah.” It isn’t helpful; listening is the best thing you can do. Shut up. And. Listen. It isn’t that hard and she is more likely to listen to you in return.
On another point, Kade Crittenden from Fremont High School mentioned, “When a girl is hot or cold she should just say ‘I’m hot or I’m cold,’ rather than asking the guy if they are cold or hot; same thing with hungry.”
In response to this, when a female asks a male with whom she’s close if he is cold, it usually means she wants to cuddle. However, she won’t come right out and say, “Do you want to cuddle? I’m cold,” because she doesn’t want to make the guy feel like he has to, or, worse yet, reject her.
Spoiler alert! Girls are afraid of rejection too.
During an argument where the blood pressure of both parties is rising, it is a good idea to step away from the situation and cool off. Hurtful things are said during a heated disagreement that may not be true.
One of the things a female may say is, for example, “Go ahead, do whatever you want! I don’t care.” This is not permission, but is a straight-up dare. It does not mean you may do what you want to do. Your next step determines her next step, which can be a step toward recovery or destruction.
And guys, do not ever pull the card, “Is it that time?” or “Is it shark week?” This is the most annoying and aggravating question a guy can ask a girl. Every single time it will escalate the situation, whether it is to fury or tears. Neither works for your benefit.
Aubree Porter, from Roy High School, says her response to that would be, “Go away!”
All in all, listen and watch carefully. For both females and males, don’t play with another person’s emotions; it is not conducive to future healthy relationships and it doesn’t benefit either party. Good luck.
Taylor Deem is a senior at Fremont High School. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.