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LAYTON — It’s OK to raise money for women’s shelters, but it’s time to stop the abuse, says the keynote speaker Monday at the Joining Forces Child Abuse Conference.
“Men who beat their women beat their children,” said Jan Langbein, executive director of Genesis Women’s Shelter in Dallas.
Langbein is also the former senior policy adviser to the director of the U.S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.
“I have a passion, ladies and gentlemen, to stop violence against women,” Langbein said. “I have a passion to stop child abuse.”
Langbein was one of the workshop presenters for the conference that lasts through Wednesday at the Davis Conference Center in Layton.
About 300 people in law enforcement, social work and education are attending the conference to learn more about what they can do to help abused children.
The 22nd annual conference is sponsored by Prevent Child Abuse Utah and the Office of Victims of Crime, U.S. Department of Justice.
It costs $20 to attend a workshop, and all are open to the public.
Workshop topics include protecting children on the Internet; polygamy; family violence; and preventing child abuse.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender youth safety and development was one
of the workshops Monday and will also be presented today.
Almost half of all teenagers who are homeless are part of the GLBT community, said Jude McNeil, director of youth programs at Utah Pride Center in Salt Lake City.
Her goal with the workshops is to teach educators, counselors, social workers and others who have contact with young people how to present themselves to teenagers who are questioning their gender identity and/or sexual orientation so the teens feel safe.
“The GLBT is overrepresented in out-of-home care,” McNeil said.
The reason is, when they tell their parents or guardians about their sexual orientation, many face rejection and are kicked out of their homes, she said.
They also are more likely to be abused or neglected at this time than before they came out of the closet.
Compared with teenagers who have at least one supportive adult, teens who do not have a support system are more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs or alcohol, or engage in other risky behaviors.
“Even though people are feeling safer than in the past, I believe there are more people in the closet than out,” McNeil said.
McNeil discussed myths associated with GLBT.
People who are in the GLBT community are not necessarily promiscuous, do not necessarily molest children and are not necessarily at a high risk for substance abuse, she said.
Another myth is that “if a child is raised by a same-sex couple, they will be gay. Not true,” McNeil said. “The majority of people raising gay kids are straight.”
McNeil offered suggestions for professionals on how to work with a teenager who comes out of the closet.
She said professionals need to first examine their own beliefs and attitudes. They then need to be aware of their language.
“When a boy comes in your office, don’t ask, ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’” McNeil said. “Instead, keep it gender-neutral. Ask if they are dating or have a significant other.”
The first step is to thank them for sharing and “acknowledge how scary this was for them,” McNeil said.
Listen and have a list of resources to give to the teenager, she said.
It is also a good idea to make a safety plan for the teenager if the teen plans to tell parents, family and friends.
“Assure them of confidentiality and let them know you are there for them.”
