Columnist

I remember when Rep. Rob Bishop, R-Tea Party Snugglebunny for Utah’s 1st Congressional District, was a sensible gentleman. He was good-humored and easy to like.

He would come to meet with the Standard-Examiner’s editorial board, cheerfully guzzling Dr. Pepper and grinning out from under that disgustingly full, age-defying head of white hair. His responses to our questions could be professorial, which we forgave because he was a retired schoolteacher. He would explain his proto-conservative positions with a confidence born of being Republican in a bulletproof-conservative district — and in a way that made you believe you could probably pass whatever civics quiz he was about to yank from his vest pocket.

Those were the days: post-Clinton, George W. Bush-era America. Most of Bishop’s righter-wing stances were indistinguishable from his predecessor’s, retired Rep. Jim Hansen. You remember Hansen? He’s the guy who wanted the Giant Farmington Cemetery Tombstone because the normal-size grave marker just wouldn’t be large enough to list All His Amazing Accomplishments.

Anyway, like Hansen, who was elected to the seat 11 times — a fact not lost on Rob — Bishop was apt to give full-on bear hugs and saliva-dripping kisses to legislation involving gun love, anything military and whatever amounted to a fork in the eye of the environmental movement.

In other words, he was standard-issue Utah GOP.

If the past couple of days has taught us anything, it’s that America’s second-favorite pastime is offseason NFL football.

“Who’s going to replace Charlie?”

“Spring is here and the orange barrels are in full bloom.”

— Cary Bryan

Australia is a pretty, dangerous continent. My wife’s brother lives there, so we get to hear tales of saltwater crocodiles and other various forms of poisonous vermin. The travel writer, Bill Bryson, in his book on Australia, “In a Sunburned Country,” described the dangers: “If you are not stung or pronged to death in some unexpected manner, you may be fatally chomped by sharks or crocodiles, or carried helplessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback.” Australia can be unsettling.

Will the Republican Party’s 2012 national rout have an impact? Will it become more a moderate (excuse the “dirty” word) conservative party that tries to inch back to George W. Bush’s stated goal of a more “compassionate conservatism” that would appeal to growing, Democratic-inclined demographics? As Tony Soprano said: “Fuhgeddaboudit!”