KAYSVILLE -- It was early 2009, and Josh found himself wandering a Salt Lake City park, frantically seeking a street dealer to sell him the heroin his body had been pulsating for all day.

Josh had repeatedly called his dealer's cell phone since early that morning, but it went straight to voice mail. He knew looking for drugs in the park was a risk and although he had never done business with a street-level dealer, he was desperate and ignored his fear of being caught by police.

*****

Josh, 27, was a star wrestler in high school, served a two-year church mission and had gotten married three years before.

Several years prior to his 2006 wedding, Josh began abusing medication that was prescribed for his sports-related injuries.

In early 2007, Josh ran out of money and switched from injecting cooked up OxyContin to the cheaper heroin.

Josh wasn't alone in his quest for a heroin fix.

Officials say heroin, once regarded as a drug prevalent primarily in the inner city, is now often the default drug of choice for people addicted to the painkiller OxyContin, an expensive pill that can be broken apart, cooked and injected with a syringe.

According to the latest figures from the Utah Division of Substance Abuse and Mental Health, heroin use is steadily increasing and was the third most common drug of choice for Utahns in 2008 after methamphetamine and marijuana.

Meth use has dropped significantly since 2006, due to anti-meth campaigns and advertising, and according to the division's most recent annual report, marijuana use is also on the decline.

But heroin use continues to rise, according to the figures, which are calculated annually by state officials who analyze admissions into substance abuse treatment programs.

Like OxyContin, heroin can be injected and offers an opioid high. One OxyContin pill can sell for $50 to $60. Josh said he once paid $85 for a pill. In contrast, one balloon of heroin costs as little as $10.

Lt. Darin Parke, commander of the Weber Morgan Narcotics Strike Force, said addicts often move from prescription pain killers to the cheaper heroin.

"They get addicted to prescription drugs, then it becomes a money thing. It's cheaper to have a heroin addiction than OxyContin," he said.

So far in 2009, strike force agents in Weber County have made 18 significant heroin arrests and confiscated 214 grams of the drug. That compares to 14 arrests and 81 grams last year and just three arrests and 50 grams in 2007.

*****

Josh bought a small amount of heroin in the park that day without incident. He got back to his car and unwrapped the tiny balloon, which dealers use to package individual amounts of heroin.

But instead of the drug, he found a small piece of gravel the dealer placed inside the balloon.

"I started bawling my eyes out," said Josh, who knew if he didn't quickly feed his addiction, the painful heroin withdrawal would only get exponentially worse.

"I would say that day was like my ultimate low. I was physically wasted away. I had no color in my face or skin; I had sores all over my face."

*****

Josh had been experiencing unbearable OxyContin withdrawals, which he describes as magnified flu-like symptoms, including chills and pulsating nerves. Josh's body began demanding more drugs, more often and as his habit grew, his money ran out. His dealer told him he could get heroin much cheaper.

"At first I was a snob about it," he said. "I didn't want to shoot that dirty stuff into my body, but by this time I had developed a pretty good physical addiction. I wasn't in the driver's seat any more."

*****

Krista Crossen, 34, of Roy, has used heroin off and on for most of her adult life, but it became her exclusive drug two years ago. She disregarded a growing rift with family members, especially her 13-year-old daughter, over her drug use. Crossen has been in and out of her daughter's life ever since the girl's birth and says her addiction to cocaine and meth, then transition to heroin always got in the way.

"I've hurt my family a lot," Crossen said. "I didn't care about anyone or anything except where my next fix is coming from."

*****

Josh hid his syringes, balloons and dirty spoons under the bathroom sink. Once he went so far as to use an electric sander to remove syringe marks on his arm. He told his relatives he had an accident with the tool, but his family eventually noticed there was something wrong when Josh began selling his possessions and skipping work.

Josh split his time as a personal trainer at a gym and a mechanic after his return in 2002 from serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To support his habit, he sold thousands of dollars worth of tools he had collected over the years. His addiction was so bad, he began stealing from relatives after his own possessions ran out.

"I eventually pawned my father-in-law's tools, some jewelry my mother had inherited, my wife's I-pod and camera," Josh said. "I took my little brother's PlayStation and told him I was borrowing it."

*****

Today, nearly a quarter of heroin addicts come from middle- to upper-class backgrounds and are usually 35 or younger, said Vigil Keate, director of substance abuse for Davis Behavioral Health in Clearfield.

People turn to the drug for different reasons. Some don't have supportive family and friends and use it as a way to escape, and others, like Josh, get hooked on prescription drugs then turn to heroin later. Regardless of the reason, users crave the drug because it provides intense relaxation and for a short time, their worries and pain disappear.

"It's amazing," Josh said. "You don't have a complaint in the world. You just want to sit there. Your body tingles and you feel like a warm marshmallow."

Josh even started mixing cocaine with the heroin to make him more alert during his high.

Heroin addicts, if they go long enough without treatment, may set themselves up for a deadly overdose. Addicts slowly develop a tolerance to the drug and constantly have to increase the dose to experience the high they are used to, Keate said.

Eventually, the person either gets treatment or overdoses. When Josh started "slamming" heroin, he would use about a third of a balloon at a time. Six months later, he was using a whole balloon in one sitting and up to four balloons a day. Josh said he has known users who use 10 balloons a day.

*****

Crossen was arrested on July 4 on drug possession charges. She spent 60 days in jail and then entered the Davis Behavioral Health Women's Recovery Center. She's been out only a few weeks and attends support group meetings. Crossen is now focusing on staying clean, something she had tried to do on her own for almost two years.

"I just didn't make it," Crossen said. "I wanted to get clean so bad I considered jail a blessing."

*****

Josh started forging prescriptions for OxyContin as a back-up when he couldn't get heroin. Soon after, he began a cycle of filling the fake prescriptions at six different pharmacies and almost exclusively went back to OxyContin.

After a few months, a pharmacist caught on and called police. Because it was a first offense, Josh was given a plea in abeyance, meaning he was ordered to undergo treatment, complete probation and submit to random drug tests. If he meets all the requirements, the charge will be dropped.

Josh opted for Opioid Replacement Therapy, which is controversial but legal. It differs from conventional rehab, where addicts are expected to kick their addiction through detox.

Addicts are given a drug called Suboxone, an opioid alternative that satisfies the body's craving but doesn't give a pleasurable high. Josh gradually received lower doses of the drug until his cravings went away. It's expensive, but very effective, Josh said.

"You can't do it cold turkey," he said. "You would have to lock me in a room for a week and come back and hope I was still alive because I probably would have tried to kill myself."

Keate said the method is controversial because it replaces one drug with another and sometimes, the addiction gets transferred to other drugs. Some choose marijuana and others get into heavy alcohol use, he said.

Keate, who works with addicts undergoing traditional treatment, admits opioid replacement works for some and the demand for that form of treatment is rapidly increasing.

"I only see cases of relapse," Keate said. "If they get off it and are successful, we don't see them."

*****

Josh has been clean for nine months and is now a sophomore at Weber State University. He also works full-time as a personal trainer at a gym in Davis County. In three months, he will complete his sentence. He is currently trying to make amends with the family members he hurt. The marks on his arm from injecting the heroin are almost gone.

During a low point in his addiction, Josh pawned one of his wife's rings. The pawn shop has since closed, but Josh was recently able to trace the ring to another shop and get it back.

"I even bought my brother a new PlayStation," he said.

Crossen is trying to repair her relationship with her daughter, but won't get a chance to make things right with her mom. She died this summer, nine days after Crossen was arrested. Crossen yelled at her mom during their last conversation because she thought her mom called the police on her.

"I couldn't say sorry," Crossen said. "That's been a huge motivation (to get through rehab). I don't ever want to do anything like that again."

- Carlos Mayorga/Standard-Examiner staff

Heroin user asks for prison time to get rehab

OGDEN -- Normally, in fact, always, plea bargains go down, as in defendants pleading guilty to reduced charges.

But Damon Conrow wanted more, requesting a deal with prosecutors to "plead up" to a more serious charge.

The 25-year-old doesn't sound desperate when he talks about what he says may be his last chance to outrun heroin.

Charged with a second-degree felony for dealing the drug, he insisted on pleading guilty to a first-degree felony version of the charge. The former is a 1-to-15-year prison term, but he held out for 5-to-life.

Conrow wants the extra time at the state prison to dry out and sample the treatment programs there.

The justice system obliged. He will be formally sentenced Jan. 19 by 2nd District Judge Pam Heffernan.

"My friends who are criminals say, 'Dude, you want to plea bargain down,' but I've thought about this a lot," said Conrow, sporting earrings and two nose piercings. "Most people are like, 'That's stupid.' But I don't care what they think. ... Obviously I keep messing up."

He lost most of his non-drug-using friends a long time ago and much of his family has turned away from him.

Basically, his parents and a grandmother still support him.

In his roughly three years behind bars, he estimates half the inmates he knows had no support system.

"No visitors, no letters, no one. If I can't do it this time, that's where I'll be."

One of the hardest parts of trying to quit is avoiding the friends he used to do drugs with. But some of that takes care of itself.

"They don't come around now because I'm not dealing anymore," he said Tuesday just before the hearing where his semi-historic plea bargain was bound with a guilty plea. He said he had been clean for several weeks while out on bail.

"I don't know if he thinks it's a good idea, but he said he'd try," Conrow said of the reaction from his attorney Martin Gravis to the unusual request. Gravis, a public defender for 20 years, was pretty sure he had never before had a client ask him to plead a charge up instead of down.

"But that's what he wants," Gravis said before Conrow's hearing in front of Judge Heffernan.

"I'm uncomfortable with it. I'm going to make a clear record in court that it's his idea, not mine, that it's what he wants."

"And we're going to do that for him," said Weber County Attorney Dee Smith. Smith, who personally handles Weber-Morgan Strike Force cases, noted that Conrow told his arresting officers in October of his plans to plead up to ensure a long prison stay.

Smith agreed with Gravis that Conrow's request was a first. It's not uncommon for a defendant to ask for a prison term, and or its immediate imposition, waiving delays for pre-sentence reports in order to get started serving their time when prison appears obvious.

"But this is unheard of," Smith said of Conrow's plan. He and Gravis said Conrow hopes to try a tough, two-year drug rehab program at the prison called the Conquest program. Doing well there could reduce his prison stay, but if he washes out of Conquest, they said, he could do serious prison time.

Conrow said his road started at age 17, becoming hooked on the prescription painkiller OxyContin after trying everything. He eventually found heroin easier to get than OxyContin.

He first went to prison in July 2005 after violating a November 2004 probation by continuing to use drugs, according to 2nd District Court records.

Paroled in April 2006, he was back inside in April 2007 on parole violations for continuing to use drugs.

On Feb. 5, 2008, he was released from prison again.

This year the Weber-Morgan Narcotics Strike Force has stung him twice, first in June, then again in October, pushing heroin.

"He won't get his original parole hearing for three years," said Jim Hatch, pardons and parole spokesman, of Conrow's coming prison stay.

"I've never heard of anyone pleading up. With addiction, I don't understand the psychology that would drive someone to do that. But if that's what he thinks he needs, OK."

Conrow, who earned his high school diploma during his first term in prison, said he plans to come out of prison clean this time, then try a trade school or some kind of additional education.

Right now he doesn't have a career in mind, but "some of my friends joke that I could be good at business management."

- Tim Gurrister/Standard-Examiner staff