The top 25 movies to see this season

OK. Who am I kidding? 

If you see 25 movies over the holidays, you are: a) a closeted hermit, b) an absolute film freak, or c) in need of new friends.

Still, I thought it would be more fun to rank the year's remaining films in the order I want to see them, instead of the usual week-by-week schedule, which often changes anyway.

Besides, this way you can take your potshots if I don't put your potential favorites near the top. That means you Alvin & the Chipmunk fans can start squawking.

1. AVATAR (Dec. 18) A decade of planning, years in the making and with Jim Cameron's sizable ego and rep on the line, this had better be good. After all, it's his first feature film since "Titanic" in 1997. In a galaxy far, far away, a paraplegic Marine becomes a hybrid solder -- part human and part Na'vi (the tall blue people) -- and is sent to infiltrate their culture and learn their weaknesses for a possible takeover. So it looks like we humans are the expansionist creeps searching for rare minerals and the Na'vi are trying to protect their homelands. In other words, a sci-fi "cowboys and Indians" movie.

2. SHERLOCK HOLMES (Dec. 25) Sir Arthur Conan Doyle must be rolling over in his grave to see his tall, lanky, thoughtful Sherlock Holmes and faithful friend Dr. Watson being turned into a couple of skirt-chasing, street-brawling wisecrackers in the form of Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. Where's the trademark deerstalker hat and pipe? In fairness, Holmes did talk about his bare-knuckle boxing skills and even some martial arts prowess in the original stories. So it's not completely out of the blue. Oh, and it looks like a lot of fun -- so there is that.

3. INVICTUS (Dec. 11) BTW, "Invictus" is Latin for Invincible (finally, those three years of high school Latin pay off). Newly elected South African President Nelson Mandela (Morgan Freeman) wants to heal the racial divide in his country in 1995. What better way than through sports? South Africa was host nation to the Rugby World Cup that year. Mandela thought it would be "really swell" if team captain Francois Pienaar (Matt Damon) and his players could bring home the trophy. The unstoppable New Zealand team could have something to say about that.

4. UP IN THE AIR (Dec. 25) George Clooney stars as a corporate downsizer. He's the guy you call when you don't have the guts to fire your own employees. Sadly, he's quite busy these days, on the road 320 days of the year. No life to speak of, he's eventually forced to figure it out when he himself is "grounded." He'll be offering words of wisdom to help us figure out what we're doing with our own lives. I have a gut feeling it will be poignant with a dash of humor.

5. THE ROAD (delayed) As post-apocalyptic movies go, this will be the opposite of "2012." Instead of massive scenes of global destruction, this is about one father (Viggo Mortensen) and one son struggling to survive on a dying planet where only a handful of people remain. It has become a dog-eat-dog world (if you catch my drift), and dad will be tested to the limit in his efforts to save his boy. This will give "a tough watch" new meaning, but Viggo is one incredible actor. This could be his year.

6. FANTASTIC MR. FOX (now playing) If Wallace & Gromit had some nutty country cousins in America, this would be them. This off-the-wall adaptation of the Roald Dahl novel will have three types of audiences. The ones who love Wes Anderson's quirky sense of humor, the ones who just see the title and think "oh, a cute kids movie" (it's not), and the book lovers who will be wondering, "What the cuss is this?" You should know that in the place of the film's swear words, the characters say "cuss." If you don't think that's funny, you probably won't like this movie.

7. THE LOVELY BONES (Dec. 11) Based on another best-selling book, this film is about a young girl who is murdered but remains in the "in-between," watching over her family and keeping an eye on her killer. The family struggles with the unsolved murder, but little Susie knows her loved ones also need to move on. The two worlds will collide in this Peter Jackson film, which looks both intense and ethereal.

8. THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG (Dec. 11) Tired of all that computer-generated animation? Disney goes old school with its first hand-drawn feature in five years. It's your basic princess-kissing-a-frog story, only with a lot of cool Orleans jazz and Disney's first black princess. Isn't it about time? I also liked that they named the gator and the firefly Louis and Ray -- after legends Louis Armstrong and Ray Charles. To quote Billy Crystal's old jazz musician, "Can you dig it? I knew that you could."

9. IT'S COMPLICATED (Dec. 25) Meryl Streep is having an affair with a married man (Alec Baldwin) who also happens to be her ex-husband. She is now the "other woman" and is also dating her architect (Steve Martin). Gee, I wonder where they came up with the title? Mamma mia, Meryl, you sassy little minx. We ALL love you.

10. NINE (Dec. 25) This is the musical "Nine" -- not to be confused with the animated "9" or the sci-fi "District 9." "Chicago" director Rob Marshall brings the Tony-winning play to the big screen with a cast filled with Oscar winners. Based on the Federico Fellini film "8 1/2," it's the story of an Italian film director (Daniel Day-Lewis) having trouble juggling the various aspects of his complex life. And who wouldn't be distracted, with the likes of Nicole Kidman, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Kate Hudson, Judi Dench and Sophia Loren? Wow -- the film should've been called "Estrogen."

11. BROTHERS (Dec. 4) A family grieves for a soldier (Tobey Maguire) missing and presumed dead in Afghanistan. His younger brother (Jake Gyllenhaal), in an effort to help out, unexpectedly falls in love with his sister-in-law (Natalie Portman) and she with him. Then the soldier is found and comes home. What a tough situation -- and I can't imagine three better young actors to pull it off.

12. CRUDE (Dec. 11) This documentary focuses on a legal battle between a big oil company and the people of Ecuador. Two decades ago, Texaco went looking for oil in the South American nation. When it was done, it left a toxic mess. The incidence of cancer and birth defects skyrocketed in those areas where the waters were contaminated. Texaco, now owned by Chevron, blamed the local government. Sting's wife Trudie Styler cried foul and said basically: You screwed up -- now clean up. So, did they step up? What do you think?

13. EVERYBODY'S FINE (Dec. 4) Jack Nicholson had his "About Schmidt." Now Robert De Niro tries his luck as a retired widower trying to reconnect with his grown children who won't be coming home for Christmas. So he leaves home to see them. This looks like a real heartwarmer with the likes of Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale and Sam Rockwell. Let's hope De Niro doesn't have to shoot anybody.

14. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? (Dec. 18) This also looks like a "reconnection" film, albeit a little more strained. A struggling Manhattan couple, Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker, go into the witness protection program after seeing a murder. They are sent to Wyoming in your typical duck-out-of-water tale. Yeehaw.

15. NINJA ASSASSIN (Now playing) Nothing says "Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men" like a ninja assassin movie. Produced by the Wachowski Bros. ("The Matrix" series) and nine of their closest friends, they bring the story of a tough orphan kid who grows up to turn against his bad-boy trainers. At least you know what you'll get going in. Pretty sure no one is going to go back to the box office and say, "I thought this was a movie about puppies!"

16. THE MESSENGER (Dec. 4) Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster star as two U.S. Army soldiers assigned to personally notify the families of fallen soldiers in their area. Talk about a tough job. Woody is the veteran who keeps an emotional detachment. Foster tries to do the same, but can't help feeling something for a young widow (Samantha Morton). Going against his training, Foster gets involved, much to Woody's chagrin. And sparks will fly.

17. A SINGLE MAN (Dec. 25) Colin Firth plays an English professor named George who lost his longtime partner, Joe, in a car accident and now wants to check out as well. Set in the early 1960s, the story follows George through one day and night in late November that puts his whole experience into perspective. I've read this is the best performance Colin Firth has ever given -- and he has given many.

18. THE DAMNED UNITED (Dec. 4) And we thought American football coaches had it rough. This is the story of Brian Clough (Michael Sheen), who took over one of England's top soccer clubs, Leeds United, back in the early '70s, best known for its rough and dirty play. He tried to change that, but the players and owner weren't happy. Still, he stuck to his style and I'll just bet that somehow he's proved right and is later revered as an enlightened champion of the sport. Any takers?

19. ARMORED (Dec. 4) A group of veteran armored-truck guards plot to steal millions in an inside job, only it appears one true-blue rookie doesn't want to play ball. Oops. How dare he stand up to Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne and Jean Reno? Doesn't he know these are the heavy hitters of Hollywood? There had better be more to this than meets the eye. Otherwise, it won't need an armored truck to transport its meager box office back to the bank.

20. STILL WALKING (Dec. 18) This story may be about a Japanese family, but its message is universal. It's about an estranged family's reunion and focuses on the second son, who has never really done anything with his life. Now 40, he must deal with his more promising brother's early passing and convince his father that his life has worth, too. Sound familiar? This could be any family USA.

21. THE YOUNG VICTORIA (Dec. 25) Period pieces about old British queens are all the rage these days -- and I'm not talking about the Elton John story. This is a look back at Queen Victoria (Emily Blunt) in the early days of her monarchy (late 1830s), when she was barely 18. This is when she was apparently cute, clever and determined. (Have you seen her later pictures? She even kind of looks like Elton John.)

22. THE MAID (Dec. 11) This Chilean tale, featuring a live-in housekeeper who worked for one wealthy family for 23 years, was a big hit at Sundance back in January. Most of those years, she was content and taken care of. But as time passed, she became more assertive, more demanding and, frankly, a little cranky and crazy. It's both humorous and poignant, representing a slice of life between the haves and the have-nots in Chilean society.

23. OLD DOGS (Now playing) This just looks so cussing dumb I can't even stand it. Come on, John Travolta and Robin Williams! You're better than this material. Seth Green? No, it's right up your alley. He gets hit in the crotch with a golf ball and sings "I'm All Out of Love" to a horny gorilla. Yeah, that's perfect for him. The rest of you? Turn in your actor's Equity Card. You and Disney should be ashamed of yourselves.

24. ANTICHRIST (Dec. 18) Don't be afraid of the title. Oh wait. Check that. Be afraid. At the very least, this may be the worst programming decision ever made -- to open this creepy Lars von Trier frightmare a week before Christmas. It features a grieving couple (Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg) who go to a cabin in the woods to find comfort and solace. That's not what they find. Honestly, after watching the trailer, I'm not sure what they find. But I wish they'd left it alone.

25. ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE SQUEAKQUEL (Dec. 23) And finally, you know if I'm putting Alvin and company after an antichrist movie, I must really hate it. Don't misunderstand. I love the original TV Chipmunks, I just can't believe how they've altered and exploited my old furry friends in these big-screen movies. I'd rather get rabies from real chipmunks than sit though another one of these rodent-infested ripoffs. OK, perhaps a bit overstated, but I just don't like what they've done. And now I'll shut up.

Steve Salles can be reached at films@standard.net.