The countdown to the worst:
10. JONAH HEX/THE SPY NEXT DOOR -- In the famous-actors-who-should-know-better category, Jackie Chan and Josh Brolin laid a couple of action eggs this year. These two movies were so badly written, leftover scripts were donated to the pet stores to line the bottom of bird cages.
9. YOGI BEAR/FURRY VENGEANCE -- Animated bears and raccoons took it on the chin this year in two quasi-rabid movies. These films were so awful, the people who made them should have been "put down."
8. WHEN IN ROME/OUR FAMILY WEDDING -- It's a wonder anyone gets married anymore, and they certainly wouldn't if they'd seen these two films staggering down the aisle. The only thing these movies have plenty of are painful stereotypes.
7. THE BOUNTY HUNTER/LEAP YEAR -- I love Jennifer Aniston and Amy Adams, but not in these movies. These are the worst road-trip romantic comedies of the year. The only way they could be any worse is if the "road kill" jumped up and danced at the two previous films' weddings.
6. THE KILLER INSIDE ME/SAW 3D/CASE 39 -- This trilogy of torture porn movies are as bad as they are brutal. Watching Casey Affleck punch Jessica Alba to death is about as haunting a movie memory nightmare as I've ever seen. It was so horrifying, it makes the "Saw" movies look like "Edward Scissorhands." "Case 39" was just creepy dumb, but I didn't have any other place to put it.
5. SKYLINE/LEGION -- Beware of lights coming from the skies! They could be the blue-light special creatures invading Los Angeles, or they could be very unhappy demons seeking souls from a desolate diner. Either way, hopefully they won't scare up any sequels. Wait. I've just been told at least one of those is a very real possibility. I should have listened to my parents and gone into dentistry!
4. GULLIVER'S TRAVELS/ENTER THE VOID -- These two are odd companions at number four, but I thought "odd" was the operative theme of both films. One features an aging mailroom rocker who likes to step on little people. The other stars Jack Black.
3. VIRGINITY HIT/VIOLET TENDENCIES -- In the category of unfortunate use of extreme sexuality in a movie, we have a tie at No. 3. One takes the usual frat-boy tack and tries to get some poor kid deflowered while cameras roll. The other has "The Facts of Life" star Mindy Cohn dismissing her gay-boy entourage so she can find a straight boyfriend. Both quests end in shame -- for the filmmakers.
2. LITTLE FOCKERS -- It made a ton of money and made me sick to my stomach. I can't believe this star-studded cast would stoop this low to make this affront to humor. If this is how they want to go out -- rich and deplored -- I feel sorry for them. The only one who had a hint of a conscience here was Dustin Hoffman, but eventually even he took his 30 pieces of silver and slunk away.
1. TRASH HUMPERS/THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE -- I am not often moved to violence, but my picks for worst films of the year were so offensive, I wanted to kick a trash can ... only I couldn't find one that one of these sickos wasn't hunched over. And "The Human Centipede" was so repulsive, I hurled at the recent sight of circus elephants linked nose to tail as a reminder of this deplorable film. Damn you, Barnum & Bailey!
Countdown to the best: