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It's time for graduation now,

Of tributes and attention.

But amidst all the excitement

Is a growing apprehension.

From the first day of your classes

Until your graduation

Your life's been planned out for you

As you've sought your education.

In a Monday-Wednesday-Friday,

Or Tuesday-Thursday block

You've known each hour where you would be

(With one eye on the clock).

Your life's belonged to learning

In this broadening of your knowing.

Your weeks and days and hours

Have been

Advertising companies spend lots of money trying to figure out how to persuade us to trade our money for stuff.

Just how much they spend varies with who you ask, but you can bet it’s a lot more than you’ll ever save shopping with coupons. Or buy-one-get-one-free sales.

And yet for all that research, sometimes they totally miss the target.

I was thinking about that this morning as I drove into work listening to some radio ads. Actually, I was listening to the background music for the ads. It was so harsh and busy I couldn’t make out what the announcer was saying. I probably could have if I’d turned up the volume, but when was the last time anyone tried to tune in to an ad?

Content warning: If talking about internal organs makes you squeamish, you might want to skip today’s column.

However, this is for your own good. (How many years has it been since you heard that line?)

The topic is your colon — a topic that should be near and dear to your heart ... well, OK, a little below your heart, actually.

Your colon is an ugly thing. Don’t take that personally. Everyone’s is.

A young mother of 2-month-old twins told me recently that she’s sure tired.

Since they arrived she’s been feeding them every three hours. It takes a whole hour to feed them, which means that in the past 60 days, the longest rest she’s had was two hours long … if everything worked out just right, meaning the twins went right back to sleep, without needing more than one diaper change, and her 3-year-old didn’t come in to snuggle in the mean time because of a bad dream. (By the way, the 3-year-old — as any seasoned mom would know — is the reason this young mom can’t nap during the day.)

So how is she doing?

It takes an iron grip on your self-esteem these days to fend off the constant stream of messages that say we should be skinnier, more organized, more active, craft more stuff, exercise more, cook better, shop cheaper, make our children do more, and above all, be happier.

Those messages always increase at the first of the year, probably to capture our attention just when we’re being guilted into thinking up resolutions for the new year.

Among the worst are the weight loss ads. We’re subjected to people playing beach volleyball in skinny splendor, flaunting air-brushed abs, and displaying “before” and “after” photos of two different people.

There's some serious Christmas non-cheer scattered around this year and it's annoying to those of us who are trying to enjoy this season. It's like we're all searching for some kind of magic or miracle when it's right there under our noses. The story of this season, whether you believe it literally or not, is actually packed with miracles and magic.

Think about it. There's this young woman who's getting ready to be married when the God she worships lets her know that she's going to bear his son. Understandably, she's surprised. But she's believed in him all her life and whatever he says, she'll do.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving (that fleeting holiday wedged into a small gap between Halloween and the tidal wave known as the Christmas season) I asked a few friends, neighbors and one total stranger in the grocery store, "So, what are you thankful for?" Once they were assured that I would just use their responses and not their names, they relaxed and gave some simple, thoughtful, really random answers. Most of the following list came from them.

I'm thankful that ...

... presidential elections come around just every four years.

... most electronic devices have an "off" switch.