In the late 1960's, one of my favorite television shows was Father Knows Best starring Robert Young and Jane Wyman. Some feminists, either gender or equity, would probably say that show heralded patriarchy.Nevertheless, it would be difficult for even feminists to deny that emotionally strong fathers (not dominating or domineering) often leads to strong and healthy families. The headship arrangement instituted by our Creator himself was to be a relationship that caters to warmth, friendliness, and most of all, an egalitarian relationship with the wife.
Some research shows that women raised by spiritually or emotionally strong fathers usually make better choices in their mate selections. Women whose fathers were demoralized (alcoholic, oversexed, drug dependent) usually look for in men the same qualities they saw in their fathers, demoralized attributes.
Strong fatherhood (let's not get this mixed up with domineering fatherhood) is a social institution the Creator himself advocated to the Israelite men back in Moses' day. Deuteronomy 6:6-8 says in the New American Bible that fathers should "drill the words that he spoke to Moses into that of their children." Today's fatherhood has been subjected to new "lows" in comparison to fatherhood back in Biblical or primitive days. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services operates a Web site called fatherhood.gov. A nonprofit organization operates one called fatherhood.org. If today's men have to be admonished, encouraged, or prodded to "be a dad", well how low can we collectively go as "men"? Immanuel Kant would say in his concept of duty theory that men have natural moral duties to their children. In other words, no judge, president (Obama doing a PSA), preacher, or anyone else should have to make edicts to men to be fathers to their own children.
Before Geico got the gecko, the caveman, and the 10 pound flour biscuit, a 19-year-old Johnson, and a 21-year-old lovely woman, Patricia, were co-workers in the mailroom of Geico's headquarters. There was something about Pat that I couldn't figure out. Although we were friends and more than bosom buddies on the job, our friendship could not go to that next level. It was only until I took Pat to see the debut of John Travolta and Karen Gorney's premiere of "Saturday Night Fever" in 1978 that I found out what was going on.
After the movies and the Cheesecake Factory, Pat tells me a story that would make hairs rise on the back of your necks. Pat had been a victim of child sexual abuse, and no less at the hands of her biological father. I learned more than I ever wanted to know about Pat's young 21 years that evening. Her "first" was not a teen boyfriend, but like millions of girls and boys on this planet, their first sexual encounter is usually with "daddy," either step or biological.
A 1994 Bureau of Justice Statistics states that 11 percent of rape victims were raped by their fathers, and another 16 percent were raped by grandfathers, uncles, brothers, and male cousins. This same BJS report states that 46 percent of all rape victims knew their assailant. Males are 98 percent more likely to be the perpetrators of rape than females are 98 percent less likely to according to various BJS reports.
"Mama's Family" was a show that portrayed matriarchy with a feisty Vickie Lawrence playing mother, grandmother, and advice-giving neighbor. Mothers, by their internal nature of being nurturers, usually bring good qualities "to the table" for families. As witnessed in the movie, "Precious," there are bad mothers out there who have contributed greatly to child abuse.
Strong fatherhood often has positive outcomes for their families and progenies for years to come. On the other hand, weak fatherhood is more glaring because in its wake it leaves a trail of maladies such as single mothers, battered women's syndrome, battered child syndrome, broken homes, homelessness, and murdered spouses and children. Strong fatherhood is a blessing and refreshment for the family arrangement.
If you consider yourself a strong father, first give yourself a pat on the back, and then read "Male Paradox" by Jackson Katz. Then after reading that book, you must read, "Male Crime & Deviance by R. Barri Flowers.
Johnson resides on the campus of Weber State. A campus club, the Men of Weber, is having a Child Abuse/Sexual Assault Awareness program at Wildcat Theater on Friday, April 16. Then on Friday, April 30, the club is sponsoring a vigil @ Lindquist Plaza. For more information, call 801-626-8617.
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