Parity, once the official slogan of the NFL, has gone out of style.
Just like land lines, rowing machines and Mel Gibson.
It's over.
These days, you've either got it or you're a three-touchdown underdog. Last week, six NFL games had margins of 28 points or more. That's not NFL football. That's the first three weeks of the SEC football season.
There was a time, back when Brett Favre was a Green Bay Packer, when it seemed possible every team in the NFL might go 8-8. Now it's possible that St. Louis, Kansas City, Washington and Tampa Bay won't win eight games combined.
The best thing about this week's NFL schedule is the Bucs, Chiefs and Redskins are off. For Skins coach Jim Zorn, that means he can do what owner Daniel Snyder and his right-hand man, Vinny Cerrato, have instructed him to do -- watch the game like everyone else.
If they're not going to let him do anything before they fire him in Washington, somebody should at least bring Zorn some popcorn during games.
Despite the glut of really bad teams -- and I haven't even mentioned the Raiders yet -- the NFL still has several very good teams. You know who they are -- Indianapolis, Denver, the New York Giants, New Orleans and beer and brats.
It almost makes you long for the good old days--but not your rowing machine.
As for Week 8.
CAROLINA at ARIZONA: Psychologists would call this trying to conquer your demons. Golfers would say Jake has the football shanks. Cardinals 34, Panthers 17.
ST. LOUIS at DETROIT: Social scientists are trying to determine if a man who put 16 live cockroaches into his mouth this week did so to avoid having to watch this game. All they've gotten from the guy so far is the bugs tasted like chicken.
Lions 28, Rams 21.
MIAMI at NEW YORK JETS: Upset special (if you want to call it that). Dolphins 24, Jets 21.
SEATTLE at DALLAS: The Cowboys might be good enough this season to save coach Wade Phillips' job. I'm just saying . . . Cowboys 30, Seahawks 20.
CLEVELAND at CHICAGO: From the Bears' perspective, this is the next best thing to a week off.
Bears 39, Browns 14.
DENVER at BALTIMORE: Kyle Orton, meet Ray Lewis.
Ravens 24, Broncos 17.
HOUSTON at BUFFALO: Allow me this unrelated observation -- how necessary are multiple 24-hour sports channels if they spend a big portion of each day broadcasting radio shows? Really? Radio shows on television?
Sounds like a Stephen ("Why do psychics have to ask your name") Wright joke.
OK, back to football. Texans 32, Bills 20.
SAN FRANCISCO at INDIANAPOLIS: I think we all know how this one ends. Colts 31, 49ers 17.
NEW YORK GIANTS at PHILADELPHIA: And, by the way, there's a World Series game across the street. Eagles 27, G-Men 24.
OAKLAND at SAN DIEGO: JaMarcus Russell had a different name 10 years ago. It was Ryan Leaf. Chargers 38, Raiders 14.
JACKSONVILLE at TENNESSEE: Last season, the Titans and the Panthers won 25 regular-season games between them. This year, they've won two, both by the Panthers. Which is a long way of saying it could be worse around here. Titans 29, Jags 23.
MINNESOTA at GREEN BAY: Really? Who knew? Favre 26, Packers 23.
ATLANTA at NEW ORLEANS: The NFC South at its best. Saints 34, Falcons 24.
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BYE WEEKS: New England, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Washington, Tampa Bay
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Last week: 11-2.
Season: 76-26.
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