Attention soccer haters.
Remember a few months ago, before the World Cup got going? Remember all the hype from ESPN, talking up the beautiful game? Shoveling out scads and scads of information you found completely useless?
Remember how they told you this was something the world really wanted to see, how there are people out there who eat this stuff up, how they can't get along without it?
Remember?
Remember how you rolled your eyes and muttered something like, "Get a life."
Remember how you said soccer had to be the most boring sport in the world?
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, pal, but you were wrong.
Incredibly wrong.
See, you forgot about the NBA's free agency season.
The truth of it is, LeBron Watch 2010 and all that comes with it is everything you thought about soccer and then some.
Boooooorrrring.
I know, I know. I've written about this before. In fact, if you saw last Sunday's sports section you already got a good dose of this stuff. Unfortunately, since then a whole lot more has come down the pike.
Amare Stoudemire agreed to a deal with the New York Knicks over the weekend. Sweet.
Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade both agreed to sign with the Miami Heat. Awesome.
Wednesday afternoon we learned our own Carlos Boozer is leaving the Jazz for the Chicago Bulls and a new five-year, $80 million contract.
And then there is The King himself. Sometime tonight the great LeBron James will go on ESPN to announce his all-important free agency decision. (Anyone else notice how the cable sports giant has suddenly stopped trying to get the scoop on LeBron's big decision?)
It'll be an all-out, big-time, made-for-TV event, something ESPN knows a lot about.
Word is, the proceeds will go to charity, per LeBron's request. Well, that's a nice touch but it hardly raises my interest level.
Seriously, this is a joke. It's a circus, complete with a wonderful array clowns.
Wade, at least, has won something in his NBA career. He won a title back in 2006, so I guess in that regard his opinion matters, at least a little. But these other guys -- including Boozer -- haven't won a thing at the NBA level.
Still, here they are, with the "Worldwide Leader" is right beside them, standing in the middle of the sports universe, demanding our attention.
Two words: Puh. Lees.
Look, I like the NBA. When it's good, it's really good. Of course when it's bad, it's about as appetizing as chocolate cake and grape juice.
And this? This is bad.
Here in Utah, Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant is a hated figure, despised by most self-respecting Jazz fans. I get that. But you know what? Kobe isn't involved in this silly dog-and-pony show.
Love him or hate him, the man's a winner. Over the years he has shown himself to be much more interested in winning than marketing.
You know that question about who's the greatest basketball player in the world, Kobe or LeBron? Well, it keeps getting sillier and sillier every day.
Honestly, even if Kobe were among this year's crop of free agents I doubt we'd see him doing an ESPN special.
For that matter, I can't see the likes of Larry Bird or Magic Johnson or even Michael Jordan doing this. Can you?
How 'bout John Stockton? Or David Robinson?
Pardon me for going into "grumpy old man" mode, but dang it, back in the day this stuff never would've gone on. Back then there seemed to be a little more substance.
Now? It's all whipped cream ... frosting.
Sometime tonight LeBron will get in front of the ESPN cameras and tell us all where he's going to play next season. Great. I can't wait.
Yawn.
The ripple effect may make its way down to the Jazz, who now must figure out what to do without Boozer. So, in that regard it means something here in Utah.
But otherwise, I've got no interest in it. Come to think of it, I'd much rather be watching the World Cup.
Jim Burton is the Standard-Examiner's sports columnist. He also covers the Utah Jazz and the NBA. He can be reached at (801) 625-4265 or at jburton@standard.net. He Tweets at http://twitter.com/jmb24.
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