What would two locked-out Seahawks say if they had an open telephone line to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell?
Well, Raheem Brock and Chester Pitts provided a humorous answer to that question in the short video "Crankin' the NFL Commish."
Pitts was first up, calling as DeMaurice Smith of the NFL Players Association. "This is what we want. It's real simple, real easy. Roger, we just want to be loved. Real love. We want you to legalize player-owner marriage."
Next came Brock.
"Is your refrigerator running?" he asked. "'Cuz Refrigerator Perry isn't after the 10 years of the NFL. How about lifetime health care?"
Now, there is a disclaimer necessary: No NFL executives were bothered. Well, at least not in the filming of the video, which took place in New York at the time of the NFL draft.
And for anyone trying to take this as a serious sign of the lockout, Pitts had one word: don't.
"There was no malice or anything," Pitts said in a telephone interview. "The people that know me, they know that I'm completely having fun."
Filming took about 90 minutes, and the idea was generated by 12 Angry Mascots, a sketch-comedy group based in New York led by Scott Rogowsky and Neil Janowitz. The group puts on a monthly comedy show, has produced material for ESPN.com and currently does online videos for Comedy Central.
The original idea was for a slumber-party feel, players in pajamas making the kind of crank calls kids have been known for perpetrating. The two NFL players donned white T-shirts and sunk themselves into their roles.
The group previously used Brock in a video earlier this year leading up to the Super Bowl, and he ad-libbed a line into the video, asking about child support.
Pitts proved a natural, too, with his imitation of President Barack Obama, his use of a robot voice to ask for a "gajillion" dollars and his expression when Brock asks to keep the season at 16 games and for footballs made of solid dark chocolate.
"Raheem is a great guy," said Janowitz, "and Chester just owned it between the expressions and the voices."
Of course, the pair were on the receiving end of the final phone call in the video short.
"Chester, Raheem, I told you rascals to stop calling here," says an older voice. "When I get a hold of you two ... "
Of course, the lockout would have to end before anything like that could happen.