As a service to those in the five-county Milwaukee metro area who are not keeping up with the NBA playoffs -- and I'm guessing that's just about everybody -- we're here to provide an update.
Seattle and Vancouver have been locked in a fierce Western Conference semifinal.
Uh, check that, Oklahoma City and Memphis.
That's the thing about the NBA. Teams move based on whether a van is available that particular weekend.
Remember that Tuesday night when Sacramento Mayor Kevin Johnson -- the same KJ who played all those years in Phoenix -- represents the Kings at the lottery drawing. He's trying to help keep the franchise from moving to Anaheim.
But don't get too carried away with a couple of other one-horse-town teams advancing this far into the tournament. The Thunder and Grizzlies have great young players and terrific coaching, but their presence is a Pac-Man blip on the screen, eventually to be eaten by the mega-market monsters.
Since your Milwaukee Bucks won the NBA championship 40 years ago, only one true small-market team has done the same.
That would be the 1977 Portland Trail Blazers.
OK, Seattle wasn't the big-time market it is now when the Sonics won in '79. (Apparently, it wasn't quite big enough, either, to stand up to the NBA against the wrongheaded decision to let the team go to Oklahoma City three years ago.)
Say what you will about the Spurs being the only game in town, but San Antonio, as the seventh-largest city in America, doesn't have to share the market with anyone. (Plus, they got real lucky with the David Robinson-Tim Duncan lotteries, not that four titles aren't four titles.)
It's satisfying that the Lakers and the Celtics finally got too old to keep up this season because Los Angeles and Boston have combined with Chicago to win 23 championships during the last four decades.
The NBA's business model is so insanely broken in terms of parity and the pocketbook that a lockout is coming July 1 unless someone can figure this thing out.
I'm on record as behind the players in the NFL's labor tussle. Short careers, non-guaranteed contracts and boatloads of viewer-generated money make that a layup.
But when it comes to the NBA, I'm going to hate myself in the morning and go with the league. Unlike the NFL, the NBA can't last as is.
Not that I'd trust David Stern from baseline to baseline. He's caused enough problems by marketing players at the expense of franchises, and now he wants to stuff the entitled genie back into the bottle.
I'm not sure I believe the league when it says it lost $300 million this season. I'm not sure I believe 22 of the 30 teams are losing money, but I'm pretty sure the Bucks aren't showing a profit.
But it's easy to believe only a few teams have a chance to compete at the highest level. That part you can look up.
True, ticket sales were slightly up this season. TV ratings are better. All those millions drained by a recession that barely touched football and baseball are slowly being recouped. Still, the NBA is rapidly slipping toward niche-sport status, where only a half-dozen franchises matter.
That's why the NBA must change its soft salary cap -- the kind that allowed the Lakers to spend $50 million more than the Kings -- to a hard cap. The league also needs to let teams designate one star it drafted to be retained and rewarded in a better way than current rules allow so there will be no more LeBron/Bosh-type load-ups in South Beach.
Granted, this goes against life, liberty and the pursuit of all that, but nobody ever said pro sports leagues were anything but socialistic. And the NBA is in such wobbly shape that it needs the majority of its franchises to get a whole lot healthier if it wants to continue scheduling 82 games.
I'm happy for Nnamdi Asomugha to make $14 million from the Oakland Raiders if most everybody is getting a piece of the pie. But it's hard to see Kobe Bryant getting $25 million when up to half the league is hanging by its fingernails.
Stern's No. 2 guy, Adam Silver, recently said the NBA's aim is "a system in which all 30 teams can compete, and, if they are well-managed, to make a profit."
Hey, if Oklahoma City and Memphis can get this far, we all can dream.