“Look on the bright side,” said the annoyingly cheerful woman as she ushered us down a dimly lit hallway. “At least you’ll be able to cross this off your bucket list.”
Yeah? Well, sorry there, overly happy lady, but of all the things on my bucket list — even the ones way down at the bottom of the list, like “Read the Old Testament,” or “Swim in the Great Salt Lake,” or “Watch an episode of ‘One Tree Hill’ ” — this is definitely not among them. Come to think of it, this wouldn’t even make my list of Tolerable Medical Procedures for Folks Over Age 50.
So, what could possibly be worse than a colonoscopy or a pelvic exam? I’ll tell you what. A massage.