Top of Utah Voices

Audrey Godfrey

The left-handed blues

I've been right handed for over 70 years. I'm really good at doing things right handed, such as writing, lifting, cooking, housework, typing, holding a book, etc. However, an operation on Jan. 4 forced me to be left handed, at which I am not very good.

First of all, a brace with a hard "pillow" that holds my right arm in place prevents me from doing many of the tasks I used to handle with ease-like eating, fixing my hair, holding a newspaper or a book. It forces me to sleep with my hand in the air perpetually signaling my readiness to answer any questions I dream about.

Neal Humphrey

How Romney will lose

Chances are, Mitt Romney will win the Republican nomination for president, and the Mittens will be ecstatic. Chances are, Mitt Romney will lose to President Obama, and the Mittens will be devastated.

Exactly four years ago in this January column I predicted that the junior senator from Illinois was going to grab the Democrat nomination and beat the pants off any Republican who ran against him.

As a campaigner, Barack Obama came across as a likable fella with a fresh vision for America, his compelling speeches promising "hope and change." There wasn't a lot of substance, just the hyperbolic promise of liberating Americans from the oppression and ineptitude of the Bush presidency. It turned out to be a winning campaign strategy.

In flattering imitation, Mitt Romney is campaigning as a likeable fella with a restorationist vision for America, the promise of a future America like the good old days. There isn't a lot of substance, just the hyperbolic promise of liberating Americans from the oppression and ineptitude of the Obama presidency.

Diamonds, water and streetcars

The discussion regarding the possibility of an Ogden streetcar system has resurfaced in recent weeks. The fundamental issues are the same as those covered in prior conversations. What is the best route for the streetcar? Can the residents of Ogden and Weber County afford the cost of the streetcar line?

It was the belief that a streetcar system is unaffordable that caused city officials to suspend analysis of the streetcar, and it is the question of affordability that I wish to explore.

Neal Humphrey

Peace for those who keep the peace

The message from dispatch was confusing so I asked for the incident commander's phone number and called him as I drove to the scene. The Sheriff's Sergeant said, "Hello, Padre. The funeral home guys are here but the family won't let them remove the body until a holy man does his thing." I was a little less confused, but still wondered what I was getting into.

At the time I was part of an association of clergy who had received specialized training and certification from the International Conference of Police Chaplains. We served the county sheriff's office and several municipal police agencies. Our primary ministry portfolio was to provide pastoral care for cops, much like military chaplains. But some of our training prepared us to work alongside deputies and officers. An unattended death in a home was among those occasions.

Audrey Godfrey

A New Year's summary

Don't expect this column to reveal my New Year's resolutions kept or unkept. Don't even expect my resolutions for 2012. I do not list any, nor do I even think of any. As far as resolutions go I'm better off without them.

The last time I made any was in the 1960s. Who thought it would be a good idea to write down goals that you never would keep?

In fact, one humorist described them as something that goes in one year and out the other.

Neal Humphrey

The reason for the season

I presume you scored three French hens from your true love on this third day Christmastide. They'll go with the two turtle doves and the partridge you received yesterday and Sunday. You see, Christmas is not over. Christmas has just begun.

The goofy carol, "Twelve Days of Christmas," with its bizarre inventory of gifts is a reminder that Christmas isn't a holiday, Christmas is a holy season that begins on December 25. Today you woke up to the third day of the season of Holy Christmas.

Michael Vaughan

Miracle on 25th Street

After Thanksgiving, I was searching for some gift ideas. A good friend who is an accomplished shopper suggested buying some gift cards from 25th Street merchants. This led me to revisit a column I wrote four years ago encouraging Christmas shoppers to purchase a few of their gifts from local merchants. Given current economic conditions, I thought it would be a good time to revisit the topic.

Audrey Godfrey

Christmas greetings

Among the treasures I enjoy at this time of year are old Christmas postcards sent to my father in the first and second decade of the 1900s. Costing only a penny to mail, and a penny to buy, the cards traveled back and forth between my father in North Ogden and his cousins in Weston, Idaho. The messages rarely were humorous, nor were they maudlin verses, but displayed little works of art with sincere written greetings.

Cousin Harold wrote on a card imprinted with "Ever Thine" and a picture of a child in a bright red coat holding a white dove: "I hope this finds you all well as it leaves us the same at present. We are having an awfull cold winter out here, so cold that little Karl and I cant go out to play. Write soon."

Three women signed another card that featured a curly haired, pink-cheeked girl with "A Joyful Christmas" message surrounded by red holly berries and leaves. Another holly framed winter scene arrived from Pearly Swift.

Neal Humphrey

Freedom rings loudly, unless you're religious

Here behind the Zion Curtain conversations that contain the words "freedom" and "religion" are usually joined by the preposition "from." The context, of course, is the muscle the Mormon Church either overtly or covertly exerts over governmental policies that affect every citizen, Mormon or not.

Still, we're enjoying a fresh debate about getting the Mormon-dominated government of Utah out of the socialized liquor sales business. Teetotaling state legislators have finally noticed that a state-run liquor agency with its maze of abstruse regulations is contrary to both the exercise of free agency and the purity of their conservative values. And we finally have evidence that Utah's Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control is also hopelessly corrupt.

Michael Vaughan

Libraries evolve to meet changing needs of a new century

I recently attended a graduation ceremony for a friend who was receiving her master's degree in library science. As is typical for commencement ceremonies, there was a long list of speakers. Given that all the graduates were receiving degrees in library science, the speakers focused their remarks on the role of libraries in the 21st Century.

As I listened to the speeches, it was apparent that the librarians were aware, and perhaps a little worried, about the impact that rapidly changing information technology would have upon their profession. The speakers' commitment to keeping libraries relevant was also clear.

Three sailors tell their stories

On Nov. 11, 1984, my mother wrote in her diary, "Veterans Day. Sixty-Six years since we celebrated the end of World War I in McGill, Nevada. I was nine years old. I woke to hear whistles, bells, sirens, yelling, guns shooting. Everybody was happy the war was over. There was a makeshift parade, mostly men and women [marching]. We were treated to watching a caterpillar-tired army tank demolish several shells. We hung the Kaiser in Effigy and then burned him. It was all exciting and dramatic to my eyes."

Twenty years later her three youngest brothers. Bob, Neil and Lee joined or were drafted into the U.S. Navy one by one to serve in the Pacific Theater of World War II. A few years ago I interviewed them about their service.

Neal Humphrey

The fourth Abrahamic religion

The religious issue swirling around governor's Romney and Huntsman just shouldn't be there, but it is. And it's not just that they're Mormons, they're Republican Mormons.

By contrast, since Mo Udall dang near displaced Jimmy Carter as the Democrat presidential candidate in 1976, up to the present day with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Mormon Democrats have been immune to theological stigma.

Warren who?

In the 1953 movie The Wild One, a group of young people occupy a small California town. Their purpose is ambiguous, but it is apparent that they disrespect authority and enjoy disturbing the established order. At one point in the film, a woman asks the group's leader, played by Marlon Brando, a question: "What are you rebelling against?" Brando replies, "What have you got."

Some have found similarities between Brando's attitude and that of the young people who have recently occupied Wall Street to protest. The comparison is understandable because the protesters' concerns include a long list of issues that seems to include anything "you have got." The list includes: corporate greed, political corruption, income inequality, unemployment, environmental degradation, foreign wars, the use of unmanned aerial vehicles, and the fairness of the tax system.

Audrey Godfrey

A harvest of words

On Oct. 16, 1758, the great lexicographer and philologist, Noah Webster, was born. He is famous for his American Dictionary of the English Language published in 1812 which defined 70,000 words.

Since its publication, many dictionaries have followed. My version is Webster's College Dictionary. I like words. When I'm reading I continually run to my dictionary to look up a word's meaning. Here are a few of the words I've discovered.

Agita describes my condition after eating too many tomatoes. It means heartburn.

Neal Humphrey

Prurient marketing

I've spent a lot of money on advertising.

For decades before changing my vocation to professional ministry I had a career in business. Like any person in business I used advertising to attract customers. During an interlude that I refer to as my "Ski Bum Period" I was the general manager of a multi-million dollar mountain sports store. We used newspaper space advertising, television and radio spots, and even produced and sponsored a winter sports television program.

I had no ethical qualms about our advertising message because our purpose was to equip people so they could safely enjoy such healthy outdoor recreation activities like hiking, climbing, backpacking, snowshoeing, and skiing. Using the stuff we sold was good for a person's mental and physical health.

Our advertising mix didn't use that most ancient of advertising media, the billboard. Not that I don't have an abiding testimony about the efficacy of billboards. We just needed a more dynamic and flexible advertising medium.

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