Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a young boy who happened upon a bag of great riches. This boy was to wait for impending manhood to be given the key to access his found wealth. In other words, this kid had a trust fund that didn’t mature until he reached the age of 18. Once he hit that magic number, however, it was his to do with what he pleased.

To this young man’s great fortune, he had a very wise and kind mother. She advised him to seek enlightenment from the older woman in the village who had gained wisdom in the affairs of land and castle acquisition, i.e., myself, a Realtor.

The young man wanted to first acquaint himself with the ways of the villages in other lands, and so he invested a small amount of his wealth in the travel to a foreign kingdom, where perhaps there were dragons and unicorns, or perhaps, there were not. Either way, he was gone for a couple of years.

When the young man returned, he consulted, once again, with the castle acquisitioner and purchased his first modest castle with an additional cooking space in the dungeon. This “mother-in-law” apartment was used for his own residence while he bartered with an additional family member to live in the main quarters where he collected more riches.

As many fairy tales go, this young man had to go into the proverbial battle and fight the demon before he could live happily ever after. As such, after mere moments of pondering in the heavily populated forests of the land of Google, he had arrived at the idea that he could use his money to purchase more land and build many tiny castles on each of these parcels of land, and acquire more riches by allowing villagers to escape the daily chores of pillaging and plowing and spend a few days, instead, in a tiny castle. Since various knights around the kingdom had done such things, surely he could as well.

After finding a huge tract of land just inside the village borders, he, once again, sought the advice of the wise, if not a bit snarky, old woman who was still, after many years, in the trade of buying and selling castles and land.

He asked the old woman if she would help him again. He then told her about his plan and showed her the land. It was then that the young man was convinced the old woman was casting somewhat of a magical spell on him. She began to call out such words as; zoning, impact fees, easements, water shares, septic tanks and the like. Why, he had never heard of such foulness.

Whether this fairy tale ends with a happily ever after or not has not yet been determined. The battle is still ongoing. He left this land, discouraged by the fight, to go fight another battle in another land. He has given up his castle here, to free up his riches for his minimally researched dream. His kind and wise mother is frightfully worried for his financial safety, as is the old woman whose wisdom lies in acquisition of land.

Yet, somewhere, in a distant land, a young man is (hopefully) learning more about land use, municipalities and zoning restrictions. Essentially, he may learn land ownership comes with certain rights but also certain responsibilities. There are many, many fantastical creatures to encounter along the way. These beasts can rear their ugly heads in various forms: flood plains, archaeological significance, future kingdom development, historic districts, dungeons, outbuildings and more. Ultimately, it is in the hands of the king, i.e., city hall.

Sometimes, the enemy is us.

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.

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