Standard-Examiner movie critic?

It’s unfortunate when the most creative thing about a movie is its title. “Hood vs. Evil” — how clever.?

And here’s the most oft-asked response to this movie: “I didn’t know there was a Hoodwinked One!” Yeah, that’s because it was almost as lame and made only 50 bucks (actually $51 million, domestically) at the box office. But hey, that’s enough for a sequel, right? Actually, it is.?In fact, the production company, Kanbar Entertainment, was so confident that it sued the distributor, The Weinstein Company, for not releasing it on the scheduled “coveted” Jan. 15 weekend (the same weekend the awful “Green Hornet” was released).?For those unfamiliar with this emerging franchise, Lil’ Red, formerly known as Little Red Riding Hood (now voiced by Hayden Panettiere), is a tough little cookie who solves crimes in the world of fairy tales.?She is away in the Far East at a ninja school for the Sister Hoods (a la “Kung Fu Panda”) to further hone her martial art skills. She works for the Happily Ever After Agency, righting wrongs committed against fairy tales by nefarious evildoers.?While she’s away, the evil witch (Joan Cusack) kidnaps Hansel and Gretel, but the three are actually working together to try to discover the secret recipe for ultimate power, which involves some kind of mystical truffle.?The Big Bad Wolf (Patrick Warburton) is back, also working for the HEA Agency, but he’s bitten off more than he can chew, and so Red is called back from ninja training.?The long-legged frog detective and leader of HEA, Nicky Flippers (David Ogden Stiers), forces Red and Wolf to work together to solve the crime that now involves Red’s kidnapped Granny (Glenn Close).?The plot is so convoluted and fractured that no kid is going to follow it. So instead, the filmmakers toss in every pop culture one-liner they can think of to at least keep the parents interested (references to “Silence of the Lambs,” “Star Wars” and “Scarface” seemed like odd choices). ?But those parents are already miffed because they got semi-burned by the first “Hoodwinked” (and it wasn’t nearly as bad as this).?So the only way I see this benefiting anyone is, if you’ve really gotten on your spouse’s bad side this week, offer to take the kids yourself, giving your beloved some him/her time, and you can take a little nap in the dark theater, while your kids revel in this mindless mayhem that is supposed to be entertainment.?Your husband or wife will be so appreciative. On the negative side, your kids might hate you. So go see “Hoodwinked Too!” at your own risk. It’s so bad, it actually makes “Hop” look good. No, wait, that’s not true either.?

Steve Salles can be reached at films@standard.net.

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