Although this grumpy Grinch eventually experiences a personal epiphany, with the gleeful ringing of joyful music, I wouldn’t count on this same thing happening to the seasonally employed porch pirates. These are the depraved villains who take it upon themselves to refuse gainful and productive employment, and instead steal the packages off other people’s front porch in order to gift themselves a hardy Christmas without having to break a proverbial sweat. They often take advantage of package deliveries by either following the delivery truck or simply driving around neighborhoods, acting quickly when seeing an unattended package on a porch. Since porch pirating requires little skill and no sophistication, there are some simple steps to deter these nefarious individuals from approaching your own home.

In fact, as I was contemplating this very thought last night, we received an evident and irrefutable visitor onto our own front porch. It was not our doorbell that prompted this quick assertation that someone was there. Nor was it the camera from the camera that we have lurking invisibly on the outer edge of our porch. Rather it was our energetic cocker spaniel who alerted us to the possible interloper. Charlie, the brown-haired, floppy-eared dog with a propensity to overreact, has saved us from many a solicitor. He also, more than likely, saved us from having packages stolen. While he hyperactively barks at everything, including a beetle attempting to cross the threshold into our home, he also pees a little when it is something more. With the advent of more frequent online shopping, this season, we have just kept a rag and a can of urine destroyer spray by the front door.

If, by chance, you do not own a cocker spaniel, but you do own perhaps a husky or a golden retriever, know that they will absolutely not protect you from potential burglars. They will, however, greet them happily, with vigorous tail wagging as well as a friendly lick. In that case, it is imperative to go a different direction for deterring vermin.

Since porch pirating is primarily a crime of opportunity, it makes sense to prevent the opportunity in order to prevent the crime. Asking a neighbor to collect packages if you know you won’t be at home is one option. Another is to have any packages shipped to the store or a post office box. Amazon offers a service that you can opt into to allow them to place the packages in a secure location, such as a garage. We have exercised this particular option and it has turned out well for us. Charlie still barks and acts like an unmedicated maniac; however, our packages are safe and dry when we arrive home.

The more obvious solution is to add a security system and include a Ring doorbell with a camera. These guys tend to like keeping a secret identity for future heists. Once word gets out about their antics, it is easier to reign them in and prevent this from happening. Don’t count on little Cindy-Lou Who’s sweet melodic voice to change the hearts of these hoodlums.

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.