That same Big Apple summer, I walked in on our neighbor sniffing cocaine off her windowsill. I literally asked like a 7-year-old child, “What ya doin’?” No idea the answer was drugs. D.A.R.E. really got the point across NOT to do drugs, it just didn’t explain what that actually looked like. It was a time for many life lessons — the beauty of a sample sale, why platform sandals don’t mix with subway steps, sushi is life and how much I appreciate the price of living in Utah versus New York.

My first Pride parade was eye-opening, to put it mildly. It’s similar to the moment babies have their first taste of ice cream. Mind. Blown. Six hours of feathers, glitter, music, laughter, platform boots and dancing. Most of all, I learned why Pride is so important to this segment of our population — a segment kept in dark corners until the Stonewall uprising of 1969, with no plans to go backwards. It was standing on the side of Pride I become an ally. Since then, every June my rainbow flags go up on my lights as a beacon to the people in my area that mine is a house of acceptance. The thing is, many in our city continue to live that small-town mindset fit for 1969.

Pride flags, the poles they hang from or the posts they adorn are being stolen, despite living in a state that endorses personal freedom and property rights. In the last year, I’ve seen dozens of reports throughout Weber and Davis Counties, the least of which is my North Ogden neighbor who’s been hit a handful of times. Each time, she calls the police, makes a report and hangs a brand-new flag. It’s almost as if intolerance runs through our streets. The fella down the block hasn’t had his “Let’s Go Brandon” flag hijacked, nor would I ever consider taking down someone’s personal property. I’ve also hopefully instilled in my children that we live in a diverse world with lots of opinions to disagree over, but we still follow laws to keep the peace.

Heber City recently saw a spat of Pride flags being vandalized allegedly by teens brazen enough to do these criminal acts in broad daylight when homes are often armed with cameras. I question what’s going on in these kids’ homes where the risk spurns consequence. Those with the vandalized Pride flags feel targeted, isolated and disturbed that they have members of their community, often teens, who express their hate so openly. If this is what kids are willing to do with their summer days, what are they like in the hall of our schools?

Photo supplied, Meg Sanders

Thanks to the Utah Department of Health and Human Services, we have solid data through the Utah Health and Risk Prevention Survey (SHARP). Students from elementary to high school opt into this survey, which in turn provides mental health statistics on our area youth. Last year, nearly 52,000 students participated statewide. A branch of the SHARP is called the Prevention Needs Assessment, which focuses on substance abuse, mental health and other risk factors for our kids. According to those findings, Weber County students report higher rates of bullying, depression, self-harm, social isolation and suicide indications than the rest of the state. I’m not sure they are the statistics we as a community want to hang our hats (or flags) on as we promote our family values.

All is not lost; we still have time to sit down with our children and explain why it’s not okay to steal someone’s Pride flag, Trump flag, law enforcement flag or Palestinian flag. As parents, we can explain why we don’t bark at people who dress in black (a real issue in North Ogden if you can believe it) or dump food over a child’s head because they wear a tail. Instead, we can explain it won’t be the last time they will disagree with a person’s opinion or, in the case of my Pride flag, how they were born. We live in a community, something slowly deteriorating because we forget to be the example to our kids of what world we want to live in. We don’t necessarily have to get along, but we sure do need to leave other people’s stuff alone if we don’t want our own stuff gone. It’s as basic as the golden rule, except with flags. Respect other’s property.

August is the month for Pride celebrations in Ogden, the sole city in Weber County to offer such festivities. While it’s no six-hour parade that passes the Stonewall National Monument, it is an opportunity for a marginalized group in our community to feel welcomed and not alone. Those who want to go, go. Those who want to tear down the symbols of Pride get to stay home. I’m not interested in the Ensign Academy of Dentistry Convention next month, so I’m not going.

While the findings from the SHARP survey don’t point to a direct cause of the alarming risk statistics — and it’s most likely a plethora of reasons our kids are struggling — one thing holds true that will improve those numbers as well as flag theft. Teach our children to mind their own business, keep their hands to themselves and treat others as they would like to be treated. I didn’t need to go to New York City to learn that life lesson, I learned it right here in Utah.