Photo supplied, Intellectual Reserve

A few weeks ago, my 8-year-old son asked me the meaning of the word betray.

Trying to think of the most simplistic definition possible, I told him that it essentially means you go against someone whose side you’re supposed to be on. The example that immediately came to my mind was Judas. I said Judas was an apostle and was supposed to be on Jesus’ side, but he went against him. He betrayed him.

At the heart of betrayal is a violation of trust. Jesus trusted Judas, and Judas repaid that trust by selling Jesus out.

Unfortunately, betrayal is all too common in society. Many people have developed trust issues because of frequent and deep betrayal. These trust issues lead many to say, “I only trust myself. I can’t trust anyone else.”

Trust — specifically, trust in God — was the theme of Elder Paul B. Pieper’s address at the general conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in April.

Photo supplied, Intellectual Reserve

“Trust is the foundation of all relationships,” said Pieper, a member of the Seventy in the church. “A threshold question to any relationship is ‘Can I trust the other person?’ A relationship forms only when people are willing to place trust in each other. It is not a relationship if one person trusts completely but the other does not.”

Tying trust to our relationship with God, Elder Pieper continued:

“Each of us is a beloved spirit son or daughter of a loving Heavenly Father. But while that spiritual genealogy provides a foundation, it does not of itself create a meaningful relationship with God. A relationship can be built only when we choose to trust in him.”

A question one might ask at this point is “Why should I trust God?” Elder Pieper provided some answers with what he said next.

“Heavenly Father desires to build a close, personal relationship with each of his spirit children,” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:63) he said. “Jesus expressed that desire when he prayed, ‘That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us.’ (John 17:21) The relationship God seeks with each spirit child is one so close and personal that he will be able to share all he has and all he is. (Doctrine and Covenants 84:38) That kind of deep, enduring relationship can develop only when built upon perfect, total trust.

Ryan Comer, Standard-Examiner

“For his part, Heavenly Father has worked from the beginning to communicate his absolute trust in the divine potential of each of his children. Trust underlies the plan he presented for our growth and progression prior to our coming to earth. He would teach us eternal laws, create an earth, provide us with mortal bodies, give us the gift to choose for ourselves and permit us to learn and grow by making our own choices. He wants us to choose to follow his laws and return to enjoy eternal life with him and his son.

“Knowing that we would not always make good choices, He also prepared a way for us to escape from the consequences of bad choices. He provided us a savior — his son, Jesus Christ — to atone for our sins and make us clean again on condition of repentance. (Alma 34:15-17) He invites us to use the precious gift of repentance regularly.

“Every parent knows how difficult it is to trust a child enough to let them make their own decisions, especially when the parent knows the child is likely to make mistakes and suffer as a result. Yet Heavenly Father allows us to make the choices that will help us reach our divine potential! As Elder Dale G. Renlund taught, ‘(His) goal in parenting is not to have his children do what is right; it is to have his children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like him.'”

From those words, I learn at least three things about Heavenly Father that show why we should trust him.

1) Heavenly Father wants to have a “close, personal relationship” with us, and Jesus expressed that desire. Indeed, we learn — thanks to latter-day scripture — that God’s “work” and “glory” is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39) He wants to have a close, personal relationship with us so that he can accomplish his work and glory, which is our immortality and eternal life. Knowing this to be the character of God helps us to trust that he loves us and wants what is truly best for us.

2) Heavenly Father proved his trust in our ability to reach our divine potential by establishing the plan of salvation. Our divine potential is to “be exalted and become like him,” according to President Dallin H. Oaks, first counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This plan required a mortal experience, and Heavenly Father trusted each of us enough to create an earth and send us here. Being all-knowing, he surely knows that there will be those who reject him. Still, his desire for us to become like him is so powerful that he puts his trust in us and gives us that chance. If his love for and trust in us is that strong, how can we not trust him?

3) In another indication of how strong Heavenly Father’s desire for us to return to and become like him is, he allowed his only begotten son to be sacrificed for us. Through the atonement of Jesus Christ, all can be cleansed from the sins that necessarily make us unworthy to return to Heavenly Father “on condition of repentance.” I think just the fact that Heavenly Father was willing to create a plan that included helping us be clean from sin shows a lot of love for us, but to include in that plan the painful, brutal, torturous sacrifice of his only begotten son simply reinforces that love for us. How can we not trust in someone who loves us that much?

Recognizing the difficulty some will have in trusting God due to what he called “a betrayal of trust as the result of dishonesty, manipulation, coercion or other circumstances,” Elder Pieper related a story and shared some counsel.

“Several years ago, two friends of mine, Leonid and Valentina, expressed interest in becoming members of the church,” he said. “As Leonid began to learn the gospel, he found it difficult to pray. Earlier in his life, Leonid had suffered from manipulation and control by superiors and had developed a distrust of authority. These experiences affected his ability to open his heart and express personal feelings to Heavenly Father. With time and study, Leonid gained a better understanding of God’s character and experienced feeling God’s love. Eventually, prayer became a natural way for him to express thanks and the love he was feeling for God. His increasing trust in God eventually led him and Valentina to enter into sacred covenants to strengthen their relationship with God and each other.

“If prior loss of trust is keeping you from trusting God, please follow Leonid’s example. Patiently continue to learn more about Heavenly Father, his character, his attributes and his purposes. Look for and record experiences feeling his love and power in your life. Our living prophet, President Russell M. Nelson, has taught that the more we learn about God, the easier it will be for us to trust him.

“Sometimes the best way to learn to trust God is simply by trusting him. … Our mortal life is a test. Challenges that stretch us beyond our own capacity come frequently. When our own knowledge and understanding are inadequate, we naturally look for resources to help us. In an information-saturated world, there is no shortage of sources promoting their solutions to our challenges. However, the simple, time-tested counsel in Proverbs provides the best advice: ‘Trust in the Lord with all thine heart.’ (Proverbs 3:5) We show our trust in God by turning to him first when confronted with life’s challenges.”

I, too, have learned from personal experience that I can trust God. I have learned that I can trust God because he does in fact do what I am told he will do. At this past general conference, President Nelson spoke of the blessings God will give us as we attend the temple. He said:

“My dear brothers and sisters, here is my promise. Nothing will help you more to hold fast to the iron rod than worshipping in the temple as regularly as your circumstances permit. Nothing will protect you more as you encounter the world’s mists of darkness. Nothing will bolster your testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement or help you understand God’s magnificent plan more. Nothing will soothe your spirit more during times of pain. Nothing will open the heavens more. Nothing!

“The temple is the gateway to the greatest blessings God has in store for each of us, for the temple is the only place on earth where we may receive all of the blessings promised to Abraham. That is why we are doing all within our power, under the direction of the Lord, to make the temple blessings more accessible to members of the church.”

As I have made attending the house of the Lord a greater part of my life, I have personally felt strength, protection, an increase to my testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ and his atonement, a reassurance of my divine identity and what is possible, comfort and support. God has provided me the blessings President Nelson said would be provided, and because of that, I know that I can trust President Nelson and I can trust God.

Trusting God means believing he will bless us as we stay faithful to him even when it doesn’t necessarily appear like he is blessing us. It’s casting aside doubt that may creep in when the world would say to embrace that doubt by casting aside a belief in God. Elder Pieper had an experience that tested his ability to trust in God and shared it. He said:

“After I finished law school in Utah, our family faced the important decision of where to work and make our home. After counseling with each other and the Lord, we felt directed to move our family to the eastern United States, far from parents and siblings. Initially, things went well, and we felt confirmed in our decision. But then things changed. There was downsizing at the law firm, and I faced the prospect of no job or insurance at the very time our daughter Dora was born with serious medical challenges and long-term special needs. While confronting these challenges, I was extended a call to serve that would require significant time and commitment.

“I had never faced such a challenge and was overwhelmed. I began to question the decision we had made and its accompanying confirmation. We had trusted in the Lord, and things were supposed to work out. I had fallen backward, and it now appeared that no one was going to catch me.

“One day the words ‘Don’t ask why; ask what I want you to learn’ came distinctly into my mind and heart. Now I was even more confused. In the very moment I was struggling with my earlier decision, God was inviting me to trust him even more. Looking back, this was a critical point in my life — it was the moment when I realized that the best way to learn to trust in God was simply by trusting him. In the subsequent weeks, I watched with amazement as the Lord miraculously unfolded his plan to bless our family.”

One question I’ve heard from skeptics is “How long do I have to wait?” Someone is wanting confirmation that the church is truly the Lord’s church, or that the Book of Mormon really is the word of God or that certain church principles are correct and they don’t receive that confirmation as quickly as they believe they should. They ask how long they should have to wait for it. The answer that comes to my mind is: However long it takes. Revelation and blessings from God aren’t given to us on our timetable, but his. I realize that isn’t exactly a satisfying answer, but it is in fact the reality. I think in situations like this, a mindset change is in order. Wondering how long you have to wait for something seems to show a fundamental distrust in God. If you trusted him, you wouldn’t worry about how long it would take, as if you already had one foot out the door and were just waiting for permission to step out completely. Just trust, like Elder Pieper did. It worked for him, and it can work for all of us.

The truth is, these moments that test our ability to trust in God are critical. Elder Pieper explained:

“Good teachers and coaches know that intellectual growth and physical strength can happen only when minds and muscles are stretched. Likewise, God invites us to grow by trusting his spiritual tutoring through soul-stretching experiences. Therefore, we can be sure that whatever trust we may have demonstrated in God in the past, another trust-stretching experience lies yet ahead. God is focused on our growth and progress. He is the master teacher, the complete coach who is always stretching us to help us realize more of our divine potential. That will always include a future invitation to trust him just a little bit more.”

Another complaint I’ve heard from those struggling to trust God is how much is too much when it comes to trials? God gives us one of those “soul-stretching experiences,” and we make it through, but then he gives us another one, perhaps even more challenging. Is there not at some point a breaking point? How much can one person be reasonably expected to take? At what point are we justified in quitting because what is being asked of us is simply too much? If God’s love for us is perfect and he knows exactly what it will take for us to return to and become like him, then we can know that any “soul-stretching experience” we are asked to face is necessary for our eternal benefit. Instead of lamenting these trials, wondering why we’re forced to endure them, we should ask the question that came to Elder Pieper’s mind and heart: ‘Don’t ask why; ask what I want you to learn.’

Elder Pieper continued:

“The Book of Mormon teaches the pattern God uses to stretch us in order to build strong relationships with us. In ‘Come, Follow Me,’ we recently studied about how Nephi’s trust in God was tested when he and his brothers were commanded to return to Jerusalem to obtain the brass plates. After their initial attempts failed, his brothers gave up and were ready to return without the plates. But Nephi chose to place his complete trust in the Lord and was successful in obtaining the plates. (1 Nephi 3-4) That experience likely strengthened Nephi’s confidence in God when his bow broke and the family was facing starvation in the wilderness. Again, Nephi chose to trust in God, and the family was saved. (1 Nephi 16:18-31) These successive experiences gave Nephi even stronger confidence in God for the enormous, trust-stretching task he would soon face of building a ship. (1 Nephi 17:8)

“Through these experiences, Nephi strengthened his relationship with God by consistently and continuously trusting him. God uses the same pattern with us. He extends us personal invitations to strengthen and deepen our trust in him. Each time we accept and act on an invitation, our trust in God grows. If we ignore or decline an invitation, our progress stops until we’re ready to act on a new invitation.”

Sometimes I wonder why I need a specific trial. Perhaps Nephi asked himself a similar question when he was faced with his trials. Yet he continued to trust God and was blessed for that trust. I can say with certainty that as I have exerted trust that my trials are for my benefit, I have gained peace and perspective, and that peace and perspective have led to increased trust in God. I know that even though God is requiring me to deal with tough challenges, he’s never leaving me on my own with no access to his help. I can have that help if I trust him.

Elder Pieper concluded:

“The good news is that regardless of the trust we may or may not have chosen to place in God in the past, we can choose to trust God today and every day going forward. I promise that each time we do, God will be there to catch us, and our relationship of trust will grow stronger and stronger until the day that we become one with him and his son. Then we can declare like Nephi, ‘O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever.'” (2 Nephi 4:34)

Contact Ryan Comer at rcomer@standard.net. Follow him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rbcomer8388.