Feeling love — specifically, God’s love — was the theme of an address by Elder Karl D. Hirst of the Seventy in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at the general conference of the church in October. In his talk, titled “God’s favorite,” Elder Hirst discussed the availability and depth of God’s love.

Elder Hirst, a native of the United Kingdom, was sustained as a General Authority seventy at the April 2024 general conference. He was delivering his first talk at general conference. He opened his address with an acknowledgement of his trepidation about speaking in such a setting while employing a callback to a humorous comment made by President Jeffrey R. Holland, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, during the April 2024 conference.

“Before I begin, I should tell you that two of my children have passed out whilst speaking at pulpits, and I have never felt more connected to them than in this moment,” he said. “I’ve got more on my mind than just the trapdoor.”

Elder Hirst knows a thing or two about kids not wanting to feel less loved than others.

Ryan Comer, Standard-Examiner

“Our family has six children, who sometimes tease one another that they are the favorite child,” he said. “Each has different reasons for being preferred. Our love for each of our children is pure and fulfilling and complete. We could not love any one of them any more than another — with each child’s birth came the most beautiful expansion of our love. I most relate to my Heavenly Father’s love for me through the love that I feel for my children.

“As they each rehearse their claims to be the most loved child, you might have thought that our family had never had an untidy bedroom. The sense of blemishes in the relationship between parent and child is diminished with a focus on love.

“At some point, perhaps because I can see that we are heading toward an inevitable family riot, I’ll say something like, ‘OK, you have worn me down, but I am not going to announce it; you know which one of you is my favorite.’ My goal is that each one of the six feels victorious and all-out war is avoided — at least until next time.”

Elder Hirst tied that anecdote to two people in the scriptures and their relationship with Jesus Christ.

“In his gospel, John describes himself as ‘the disciple whom Jesus loved,’ (John 21:20; John 13:23; John 19:26; John 20:2; John 21:7) as if that arrangement were somehow unique,” he said. “I like to think that this was because John felt so completely loved by Jesus. Nephi gave me a similar sense when he wrote, ‘I glory in my Jesus.’ (2 Nephi 33:6; emphasis added) Of course, the savior isn’t Nephi’s any more than he is John’s, and yet the personal nature of Nephi’s relationship with ‘his’ Jesus led him to that tender description.

“Isn’t it wonderful that there are times when we can feel so fully and personally noticed and loved? Nephi can call him ‘his’ Jesus, and so can we. Our savior’s love is the ‘highest, noblest, strongest kind of love,’ and he provides until we are ‘filled.’ (Matthew 14:15-20; 3 Nephi 27:16) Divine love never runs dry, and we are each a cherished favorite. God’s love is where, as circles on a Venn diagram, we all overlap. Whichever parts of us seem different, his love is where we find togetherness.

“Is it any surprise that the greatest commandments are to love God and to love those around us? (Matthew 22:35-40) When I see people showing Christlike love for one another, it feels to me as if that love contains more than just their love; it is love that also has divinity in it. (1 John 4:12) When we love one another in this way, as completely and fully as we can, heaven gets involved too.

“So if someone we care about seems distant from a sense of divine love, we can follow this pattern — by doing things that bring us closer to God ourselves and then doing things that bring us closer to them — an unspoken beckoning to come to Christ.”

The Venn diagram analogy is one I had not heard before. Every one of us is unique, and we have different challenges and life situations, but one thing that we have in common is that God loves all of us. Why wouldn’t he? If we are all his spirit children, then of course he loves all of us.

Although that love always exists, it isn’t always felt. Sometimes, people can feel really far away from God’s love.

“I wish I could sit down with you and ask you what circumstances cause you to feel God’s love,” Elder Hirst said. “Which verses of scripture, which particular acts of service? Where would you be? What music? In whose company? General conference is a rich place to learn about connecting with heaven’s love.

“But perhaps you feel a long way from the love of God. Maybe there is a chorus of voices of discouragement and darkness that weighs into your thoughts, messages telling you that you are too wounded and confused, too weak and overlooked, too different or disoriented to warrant heavenly love in any real way. If you hear those ideas, then please hear this: Those voices are just wrong. We can confidently disregard brokenness in any way disqualifying us from heavenly love — every time we sing the hymn that reminds us that our beloved and flawless savior chose to be ‘bruised, broken, [and] torn for us,’ (Isaiah 53:5; Matthew 26:26) every time we take broken bread. Surely Jesus removes all shame from the broken. Through his brokenness, he became perfect, and he can make us perfect in spite of our brokenness.”

At this point in the address, as transcribed on the website of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Elder Hirsh added a footnote:

“President Russell M. Nelson explained: ‘Just prior to [the savior’s] crucifixion, he said that on ‘the third day I shall be perfected‘ (Luke 13:32; emphasis added). Think of that! The sinless, errorless Lord — already perfect by our mortal standards — proclaimed his own state of perfection yet to be in the future. His eternal perfection would follow his resurrection and receipt of ‘all power … in heaven and in earth.’ (Matthew 28:18; see also Doctrine and Covenants 93:2-23)” The prophet Moroni invited all to ‘come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.'” (Moroni 10:32)

Continuing his talk, he said: “Broken, lonely, torn, and bruised he was — and we may feel we are — but separated from the love of God we are not. ‘Broken people, perfect love,’ as the song goes.

“You might know something secret about yourself that makes you feel unlovable. However right you might be about what you know about yourself, you are wrong to think that you have put yourself beyond the reach of God’s love. We are sometimes cruel and impatient toward ourselves in ways that we could never imagine being toward anyone else. There is much for us to do in this life, but self-loathing and shameful self-condemnation are not on that list. However misshapen we might feel we are, His arms are not shortened. (Isaiah 59:1) No. They are always long enough to ‘[reach our] reaching’ and embrace each one of us.”

Elder Hirst’s comments echo those previously made by President Holland during an April 2012 general conference address. He said:

“I do not know who in this vast audience today may need to hear the message of forgiveness inherent in this parable, but however late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s atonement shines.”

One thing we can be certain about is that just because we may not always feel God’s love as strongly as we may want, that is not evidence that God’s love is not available.

“When we don’t feel the warmth of divine love, it hasn’t gone away,” Elder Hirst said. “God’s own words are that ‘the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but [His] kindness shall not depart from [us].’ (Isaiah 54:10) So, just to be clear, the idea that God has stopped loving should be so far down the list of possible explanations in life that we don’t get to it until after the mountains have left and the hills are gone.

“I really enjoy this symbolism of mountains being evidence of the certainty of God’s love. That powerful symbolism weaves into accounts of those who go to the mountains to receive revelation (1 Nephi 17:7; Exodus 19:3; Matthew 28:16; Matthew 14:23; Psalm 24:3) and Isaiah’s description of ‘the mountain of the Lord’s house’ being ‘established in the top of the mountains.’ (Isaiah 2:2-3) The house of the Lord is the home of our most precious covenants and a place for us all to retreat and sink deeply into the evidence of our Father’s love for us.”

Another quote from President Nelson, president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, highlighted in the footnotes by Elder Hirsh read:

“President Nelson has assured us:

“‘Time in the temple will help you to think celestial and to catch a vision of who you really are, who you can become, and the kind of life you can have forever. Regular temple worship will enhance the way you see yourself and how you fit into God’s magnificent plan. I promise you that. …

“‘Nothing will soothe your spirit more during times of pain. Nothing will open the heavens more. Nothing!'”

Those words came from President Nelson’s April 2024 general conference talk titled “Rejoice in the gift of priesthood keys.”

Continued Elder Hirsh:

“I have also enjoyed the comfort that comes to my soul when I wrap myself more tightly in my baptismal covenant and find someone who is mourning a loss or grieving a disappointment and I try to help them hold and process their feelings. (Mosiah 18:8-10, 13) Are these ways that we can become more immersed in the precious covenantal love hesed?”

For those who haven’t heard the word hesed, it’s been used a few times in recent general conferences. President Nelson used it in his April 2022 general conference address titled “The power of spiritual momentum.” He said:

“The savior loves us always but especially when we repent. He promised that though ‘the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed … my kindness shall not depart from thee.'” (Isaiah 54:10; 3 Nephi 22:10). In the footnotes of the talk near those words, President Nelson said:

“Kindness is translated from the Hebrew term hesed, a powerful word with deep meaning that encompasses kindness, mercy, covenant love and more.”

So, what are some reasons why we might not feel God’s love and what can be done about it?

“Just to manage your expectations: I don’t know,” Elder Hirst said about the first question. “But being loved is definitely not the same as feeling loved, and I have a few thoughts that might help you as you pursue your answers to that question.

“Perhaps you are wrestling with grief, depression, betrayal, loneliness, disappointment or other powerful intrusion into your ability to feel God’s love for you. If so, these things can dull or suspend our ability to feel as we might otherwise feel. For a season at least, perhaps you will not be able to feel his love, and knowledge will have to suffice. But I wonder if you could experiment — patiently — with different ways of expressing and receiving divine love. Can you take a step back from whatever is in front of you and maybe another step and another, until you see a wider landscape, wider and wider still if necessary, until you are literally ‘thinking celestial’ because you are looking at the stars and remembering worlds without number and through them their creator?

“Birdsong, feeling the sun or a breeze or rain on my skin, and times when nature puts my senses in awe of God — each has had a part in providing me with heavenly connection. Perhaps the comfort of faithful friends will help. Maybe music? Or serving? Have you kept a record or journal of times when your connection with God was clearer to you? Perhaps you could invite those you trust to share their sources of divine connection with you as you search for relief and understanding.

“I wonder, if Jesus were to choose a place where you and he could meet, a private place where you would be able to have a singular focus on him, might he choose your unique place of personal suffering, the place of your deepest need, where no one else can go? Somewhere you feel so lonely that you must truly be all alone but you aren’t quite, a place to which perhaps only he has travelled but actually has already prepared to meet you there when you arrive? If you are waiting for him to come, might he already be there and within reach?”

Throughout the difficult moments of my life where I haven’t felt God’s love as much as I would like to, I’ve found that an increased focus on living the gospel more strictly has helped. I say this not to diminish the efforts that might already have been made, but to stress that sometimes, even more effort is needed.

Once again going back to words previously used by President Nelson, in an October 2021 general conference talk titled “The temple and your spiritual foundation,” he said:

“We are sparing no effort to give this venerable temple, which had become increasingly vulnerable, a foundation that will withstand the forces of nature into the millennium. In like manner, it is now time that we each implement extraordinary measures — perhaps measures we have never taken before — to strengthen our personal spiritual foundations. Unprecedented times call for unprecedented measures.”

In his April 2018 general conference address, his first general conference since becoming the prophet, President Nelson gave a talk titled “Revelation for the church, revelation for our lives,” in which he said:

“Our savior and redeemer, Jesus Christ, will perform some of his mightiest works between now and when he comes again. We will see miraculous indications that God the Father and his son, Jesus Christ, preside over this church in majesty and glory. But in coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.”

Whatever our efforts are, if we aren’t feeling God’s love as much as we want, we need to redouble those efforts. I believe with prayer and faith in God, we can all be taught what those efforts would look like in each of our lives.

With so much focus on those who for whatever reason aren’t feeling God’s love, those who are filled with love are not immune from counsel.

“If you do feel filled with love in this season of your life, please try and hold on to it as effectively as a sieve holds water,” Elder Hirst said. “Splash it everywhere you go. One of the miracles of the divine economy is that when we try to share Jesus’s love, we find ourselves being filled up in a variation of the principle that ‘whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.'” (Matthew 16:25)

Concluding his talk, Elder Hirst said:

“Being filled with God’s love shields us in life’s storms but also makes the happy moments happier — our joyful days, when there is sunshine in the sky, are made even brighter by the sunshine in our souls.

“Let’s become ‘rooted and grounded’ (Ephesians 3:17) in our Jesus and in his love. Let’s look for and treasure experiences of feeling his love and power in our lives. The joy of the gospel is available to all: not just the happy, not just the downcast. Joy is our purpose, (2 Nephi 2:25) not the gift of our circumstances. We have every good reason to ‘rejoice and be filled with love towards God and all men.’ (Mosiah 2:4) Let’s get full. (Moroni 7:48) In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”

Contact Ryan Comer at rcomer@standard.net. Follow him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/rbcomer8388 and on X at @rbcomer8388.