Over the years, I have learned that decorating is not my gig. One would think, having witnessed some of the best and worst of house accessorizing throughout my career, I would have ascertained some sort of a knack for it, yet I have not. I can look at something and tell whether it looks stunning or repulsive, but I am somehow unable to create a stunning decorative masterpiece of my own. Fortunately, I have a daughter, a husband, and a good friend and colleague who can. That means for myself and my clients, I’m covered. However, I have found that not everyone is.

As the market starts to soften a bit, we are seeing homes stay on the market for longer than 24 hours. This in no way means that the market is dying on the vine, nor does it mean homes are not selling. It simply means sellers must do their dishes and vacuum their floors now in order to get the maximum value for their homes. We knew this was coming.

While it is oftentimes fun to reminisce about the past — heaven knows I love a good walk down memory lane with Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven” or some old AC/DC “Back in Black” — some blasts from the past should just stay in the past. Before we start labeling specifics, first a disclaimer: If there is something on this list that you have in your own home, and you love, there is no judgement here. These are simply trends that the majority of people wish to see changed when purchasing an existing home.

The first culprit worthy of mention is tile countertops. These not only create a haven for stray crumbs to hide in, and are next to impossible to clean, they also appear in some largely garish hues, such as hunter green or putrid pink. While we are in the kitchen, let’s banish the florescent lights as well as the fake fruit. These decorative improprieties represent both the worst and best of artifice, which is not something you want in your home either way.

Another throwback feature that I still see frequently in homes (in fact, as recently as two years ago in my own home) is the predominantly Utah phenomenon of stenciled lettering. Conspicuous room reminders such as “Pantry,” “Laundry” or “Kitchen” are redundant explanations of the obvious. After all, if there is a toilet, a sink and running water, I can easily surmise, all by myself, that it is the “Bathroom.” Call me Einstein.

In the early 2000s (I know, we are already in the early 2020’s), our country seemed to have a cosmetic love affair with granite. While granite is still an effective and practical material in which to adorn kitchens, the dark brown speckled rock can still hold a place in the kitchen, but perhaps playing a less prominent role with accents and minimalistic lighter colors. In fact, most new construction has converted almost solely to quartz.

From the kitchen and bathrooms to the bedrooms, window coverings are a necessity. Since sheets and tinfoil have never been an aesthetically acceptable medium for such purposes, lace accents, floral valances (or any valance for that matter) and vertical blinds are out. This may have been a lovely way to underscore the window water stains; however, a more minimalist approach works as well here as it does with the rest of the décor.

Lest I haven’t yet offended everyone, the nudging continues with a call to ban neon signs, beer collection bottles, wood paneling, kitchen desks (who can really “work” in the kitchen with a plethora of delicious, ready-to-eat snacks within reach), ferns, doilies and linoleum. The list goes on ad nauseam. While many homes that were constructed in the previous decades may consist of such items, it certainly does not mean a home is unsellable. These details are simply things to keep in mind if the budget allows for remodeling and there is future consideration to selling. Otherwise, swim in the shag carpet to your heart’s content; after all, this is your home.

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.

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