My first formal negotiation was born of necessity at the start of my second grade school year. Mrs. Eyre presented our class with a task that was expected to be repeated weekly throughout the rest of the school year. Every Tuesday morning, we would arrive at the school to find a writing prompt on the chalkboard. We would then have an allotted amount of time to write an “essay.” We were instructed to include three paragraphs: a beginning, a middle and an end. Our essays were very rudimentary; however, the idea was that we would all become more skilled at writing as the year progressed.

The other weekly assignment that we were given was pertaining to the subject of art. While I very much appreciate art and see the value in all things artsy, I also have no innate skill in this area of study. In fact, to this very day I have not been able to graduate from Beginning Stick People 101. My stick people, stick animals and stick landscapes all resemble the same thing. One would be hard pressed to even categorize it as abstract or impressionistic. Fortunately, however, Ronnie Davis could draw. He was good at it. I witnessed this while sitting at the same assigned table during the very first assignment we had been given. I also noticed that while he was very good at drawing, he was not so gifted in the subject of writing. Writing was something I enjoyed and did not seem difficult for me.

Before the end of the first Tuesday of school, I had approached Ronnie and negotiated a deal. I would do all his writing if he, in turn, would do all my drawing. We shook hands and proceeded to stick with the contract throughout the entire year, albeit illusively. My guess is that Ronnie, to this day, is probably as good at writing as I am at art. Either way, we negotiated a solution to a problem that we both had by thinking outside of the box.

This may have been the first of my formal negotiations, but it would certainly not be the last. I began negotiating deals with my teachers. Miss Talbot allowed me to work off absences and tardies by doing book reports, and agreed to give me points for missed assignments if I could make a good argument as to why I shouldn’t have to do it. We both called this exercise “creative writing.” Mr. Walker agreed to allow me to practice photography instead of building a primitive stool in shop class. This practice continued throughout college.

Over the years, many books, speeches, essays and TED Talks have addressed the topic of negotiation. In theory, negotiation involves strategic discussion between two or more parties where all parties compromise to reach an acceptable resolution. With this definition in mind, I find it difficult to understand why, as adults, we need books and talks about how to negotiate. Don’t we negotiate every day? Perhaps some of us find more joy in the process than others. I must be one of these people. There is something quite satisfying about reaching a resolution.

While I have always believed that every problem has a solution, I also believe that there are times when the solution is not inside the box of solutions that has been provided. There is not one instance that I can think of from my childhood negotiations in which the alternative was offered to me first. I had to present it as an option first and then it became a possibility. Perhaps this could be called “rebellious negotiations.” While I wouldn’t try this in a hostage situation, I find it works well in the arena of real estate, and it literally saved my heinie throughout my more formative years.

We are all negotiators. For some us, it comes innately and for others it is learned. Whichever it is, next time you have an opportunity to negotiate something, I would invite you to rebel a little and see what happens.

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.

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