The business of being a Realtor, much like any business in which you are self-employed, comes with perks as well as drawbacks. On the one hand, it is great to be able to set your own schedule — albeit, if you want to succeed, the schedule most include at least five to six 8- to 12-hour days. But on the other, there are no sick days, vacation days or mental health days … the later being the most necessary in this business. There is also no time off for bereavement.

I mention this as I just left the funeral home where we just set the details for my mom’s funeral. On the way there, I scheduled two showings for a listing, talked to a developer about an extension on a property he is purchasing and made a call to three builders on different lots for an interested client. The previous morning, I was on our weekly scheduled team huddle call with our brokerage, giving out the good mojo to keep our agents going, when I was interrupted by a phone call. “I need to hang up and get this call, guys. Sorry to cut it short. Go get the day,” I said, as I disconnected our call.

It was my stepdad, George. The generous, humble and occasionally human man that my mom deservedly has been gifted with for the past 32 years. “Jen, this is the call,” he said. Although it certainly should not have been a surprise, my mom, an elementary school teacher by profession, could no longer string words together to form sentences … a pure and cruel irony for this “reading specialist.” She had quit eating, could no longer sit up and had difficulty even swallowing. The tyrannical beast of dementia had dug his unrelenting talons in and would only release the grasp when there was nothing left to grab. We were there now. Yet, it was still a shock. I went into the bathroom and cried.

Minutes later, I had to pull myself together, put a pin in my grief and move through my day. My heart was in pain, but I had deadlines I had to meet.

This is not the first time I have mourned in five- to seven-minute intervals throughout a day, nor am I under any illusion that I am alone in this method. During my career — and many of us are rowing a similar make and model of the proverbial boat — I have gone through a rather devastating divorce (27 years married), another less than devastating divorce (an embarrassing rebound), the tragic loss of a son-in-law, a child who was hospitalized twice, a couple of surgeries, a handful of illnesses and, yes, another marriage (this one is sticking, though). Incremental sobbing, mourning and heartbreak has been mastered. I learned to hold grief in one hand while holding joy in the other. Necessity is the mother of invention.

Knowing all of this, I wouldn’t pick anything different than real estate. Although often “inconvenient” and certainly all-consuming, it is all worth it. The people, the process, the fast-paced environment, the unpredictable nature, the networking, the prospecting, the advertising, the home tours, the list appointments, the lead generation, the phone calls and the exorbitant mileage on the car … I’ll take all of it. After all, as American entrepreneur Tom Preston-Werner put it, “When I’m old and dying, I plan to look back on my life and say, ‘Wow, that was an adventure,’ not ‘Wow, I sure feel safe.'”

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.

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