Finding it required a journey similar to following a shining star through a very dry desert that eventually led me to a new primary care provider. It was through a conversation with another woman that I learned hormone replacement therapy can include testosterone. This kind of information sharing, woman-to-woman, helps keep us healthy when the system set up to protect us constantly fails.

Initially, my gynecologist frowned at the idea of using testosterone, explaining the slippery slopes of getting correct levels without turning into doping. She wouldn’t prescribe it. After that, I turned where many women do now: online forums, social media pages and quiet conversations at school events where menopause is discussed openly and without shame. It didn’t take long to learn that testosterone is a controversial topic even among medical providers.

Typically viewed as a “man’s hormone”, low testosterone can cause a wide swath of issues for women. Libido is at the top of the list, but other issues include brain fog, lethargy, insomnia and muscle deterioration. Critics often complain testosterone only improves sex drive but even if that were true, what’s so wrong with a woman wanting to feel desire again?

Determining the level of “T” isn’t guesswork. Doctors do a blood test to see if levels are low, just as they do for estrogen and progesterone. Similar to those other hormones, levels can fluctuate. In the end, it seems the doctor’s preference, beliefs and perception play the biggest role in scoring a prescription.

As women’s health continues to be defunded and tossed around like a football at recess, fumbled, dropped and stored under a desk, research on the use of testosterone in women is limited. Because of the lack of data, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved the use of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) for women. Considering women’s health continues to be attacked and shelved, don’t expect research on TRT to surge anytime soon.

Even for men, the use of TRT is closely regulated with only those experiencing low testosterone due to another medical condition being allowed a prescription. In the last month, however, the FDA revisited discussions on TRT, convening a panel of 13 experts to review recent findings on outcomes. In the end, this FDA panel called for looser restriction on TRT — for men. Women, it seems, will just have to settle for the FDA’s removal of the so-called black box warning on hormone replacement therapy after decades of misinformation. The push to revisit the benefits of testosterone was driven by the American Urological Association and embraced by the Secretary of Health, Robert Kennedy Jr., which may explain why he does his pull-ups in jeans.

Currently, testosterone is a Schedule III drug like ketamine and anabolic steroids. And I have a prescription. I have a prescription and it’s turned out to be the best thing I’ve done in 2026.

After a blood test confirmed my levels were low enough to warrant the use of testosterone, I raced to the compounding pharmacy like I was the Road Runner. I received a cream to use daily in hopes of raising that level. Next month, I have a follow-up appointment to check hormones levels and side effects.

A month into its use, I can already feel a difference in my mood, my energy and of course, my libido. Patients are offered a few choices: a topical gel, troche or pellet underneath the skin, all of which are not covered by insurance. One might think administering a man’s hormone would lead to quick changes, like me asking where everything is, forgetting how to pick up my underpants from behind the bathroom door or disappearing into the garage for hours. Instead, I need to be on the lookout for hair loss, facial hair growth, acne or mood swings. Basically, everything I’m already accustomed to as a woman. The biggest side effect thus far is feeling like myself again.

It’s surreal to be in this moment of my life where my body is signaling it’s slowing down, that I’m on the downward slope of what I thought was an infinite hill. Raging hormones, fertility and the merciful blind spot of aging are no more, instead I’m coming to terms with the fact it really does go by so fast. It’s reflected in the fact 16 years ago I was writing in this newspaper about the birth of my daughter and the struggle of post-partum, now I’m wax philosophical about my “man hormones”. The time between being exhausted by small children and being exhausted by life itself; between self-doubt and a soothing indifference — is short.

Testosterone isn’t a Christmas miracle (it’s not even covered by medical insurance) but it’s been a lifeline for women looking for respite from time. More importantly, this prescription is permission to talk out loud about what women need to make the second half of life better than the first. It’s openness and advocating that assures change, research, funding and representation so the next generation of women have more answers.