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ATV Adventures: The Green River Watermelon Crawl is not about watermelons

By Lynn Blamires - Special to the Standard-Examiner | Mar 28, 2024
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One of the challenging sections on the Old Spanish Trail where I lost my cellphone.
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Riding through the rugged country on the Old Spanish Trail.
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Taking a break in some amazing country on the Old Spanish Trail.
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Lynn Blamires

Green River is famous for its watermelons, but not in March. They don’t enter the picture for another six months. Also, watermelons do not crawl; OHVs crawl, especially on some of the trails featured at the Green River Watermelon Crawl.

I was on my way to Green River for this annual event with my grandson Mark when we stopped at Rocky Mountain ATV/MC in Payson to get an electric switch for the winch on my Polaris Ace. It was sort of on the way.

While there, Mark spotted a product that piqued my interest. It was a fuel additive designed to make your exhaust smell good. What! I have never heard of anything like this. I thought smelling exhaust would be the last thing a person would do before leaving this world.

It comes in these scents — Atomic Apple, Cherry Bomb, Full Blown Bubble Gum, Groovy Grape, Pina Colada, Rocket Cotton Candy, Root Beer, Cinnamon, Vanilla and Watermelon. I ask myself, “Do I want to take this to a Watermelon Crawl?”

It doesn’t do anything but make your exhaust smell good. I checked out some of the consumer reviews. “Guys love riding behind me because it smells so good.” “Don’t use too much and don’t spill it, your garage will smell like a candy shop!” “Smelled just like watermelon and cherry!” I resisted the urge to smell like a watermelon at the Watermelon Crawl.

Our first ride was on the Old Spanish Trail. It was fun to think about riding where pack mule caravans traveled with provisions. These trails later became wagon roads.

Mark was driving his RZR and I had my Polaris Ace. I felt dwarfed riding with monster OHVs in my little Ace. How can you feel buff when the people riding in this group kept calling my Ace “cute”? It was like driving a roller skate with a steering wheel compared to their big UTVs — my 27-inch tires to their 37-inch ones.

The slick rock on the trail was not smooth. Their big tires rolled over the rough terrain while I bounced around in my Ace like a pinball.

Speaking of bouncing, we came to one of these rough spots. By the time I stopped bobbing, I realized that I had lost the cellphone I had stored in my dashboard. Even though five big machines had negotiated that section of trail, I got my cellphone back without a scratch — unbelievable. I kept better track of it after that.

We moved from the Spanish Trail to the Chimney Rock Trail and then to the Cottonwood Wash Trail. We stopped for a break in the Cottonwood Wash and took note of the cottonwood trees there. They were unbelievably huge and must have been growing there for a very long time — hence the name, Cottonwood Wash.

We were riding through a very harsh terrain with the only shade coming from rocks big enough to provide it. This is not a place I would like to ride in the heat of the summer.

Some of the canyons we rode through were strewn with boulders the size of houses. We wove our way through them in a long line that looked like a snake from overhead.

By the time we got back to our trucks, we had completed 41 miles. If you count an hour for lunch, it took us five hours to make the trip. That is about 8 miles per hour.

After the ride, the leader came over to talk to us. He was very diplomatic in telling me that I was holding up the line. I couldn’t go over rough places like the big guys could. I was crushed.

There are two types of riders — those who like to see a lot of a little bit of scenery and those who like to see a little bit of a lot of scenery. Those of you who know me, know that I fit into the latter category.

This same leader would be leading the ride the next day on the Devil’s Race Track. He kindly told me to choose another ride. After seeing the pictures of that ride later on Facebook, I am glad I took his advice. My little Ace would have fallen in a crack somewhere on the trail and I would still be there. When you go, take plenty of water, keep the rubber side down and choose Green River to ride in the spring.

Contact Lynn R. Blamires at quadmanone@gmail.com.


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