But I was wrong. Like, surprisingly, repeatedly wrong.

To be clear, Carnival’s food isn’t perfect. There were a few soggy salads. A sad donut that looked like it had seen some things. A seafood dish that I swear whispered, “I used to be frozen.” But on the whole, Carnival’s food has no business being this good.

Let’s start with the best surprise on board: Guy’s Burger Joint. Yes, that Guy — the frosted-tipped, donkey-sauce-slinging mayor of Flavortown. I expected gimmicks. I got greatness. Simple burgers seared to perfection on soft buns with fresh toppings, caramelized onions, and just enough cheese to juice your cholesterol.

Carnival also wins major points for BlueIguana Cantina, which serves up breakfast and lunch burritos so good they could broker world peace. You pick the tortilla. Then eggs. Then meats. Then potatoes. Then all the toppings. It’s like being handed the controls to your own happiness machine. For a ship floating in international waters with limited kitchen space? These are better than they need to be. Far better.

As for the buffet? This is usually the place where flavor goes to die. But Carnival’s Lido Marketplace occasionally flirts with excellence. The carved meats are solid. The Indian food? Weirdly on point. The bread pudding with vanilla sauce? A dangerous, gooey masterpiece. One night, I had a rice dish that made me audibly say, “OK, who back there knows so much about fine dining?”

It’s not perfect — some dishes clearly come from the “bulk frozen foods” aisle — but Carnival makes a visible effort to keep things fresh and rotating. Which, in buffet terms, is like winning a Michelin star.

Moving on, the main dining room is where Carnival quietly flexes. You get three courses, including seconds and unlimited desserts. Real tablecloths. Servers that remember your name, drink, and potentially even your blood type by the end of the cruise. Dishes range from “solid wedding reception fare” to “Hey, this would cost $28 on land.”

One night I had the braised beef short ribs that were tender enough to make me suspicious. Another night, I tried the Indian chana masala because I was feeling fancy and mildly reckless. It was … good? Tasted like something from a well-rated restaurant, in fact.

Despite the occasional dud (a pasta with all the flavor of a DMV waiting room), most of the included foods and dishes were well-seasoned, well plated, and legitimately satisfying. I say that for the sea day brunch, afternoon tea, and the ungodly amount of gooey, melting chocolate cakes I consumed that are the best I’ve ever had … anywhere.

Then there were the almost all-hours and late-night eats. Pizza, unlimited soft serve, and questionable quantities. These aren’t just “good for 2 a.m.” They’re good, period. Are they gourmet? No. Did I eat more servings than an overgrown 10-year-old should? You bet I did.

Here’s the kicker: When you consider that many Carnival Cruises end up costing less than $100 per person per night with all meals, snacks, hotel, entertainment, and travel included, the food simply should not be this good. Especially in the middle of the ocean. But it is. That’s a minor miracle.

Carnival may market itself as the “fun” cruise line, but their food deserves serious respect. Not because it’s flawless, but because it consistently overdelivers for the price. If you’re considering a cruise with them, come hungry. Come ready to be surprised by how often you’ll say, “Wait … this is actually really good.” And for the love of all that’s holy: get the melting chocolate cake. Your waistline will hate me for the multiple helpings you’ll inevitably order. But your soul will thank me.

Blake Snow contributes to fancy publications and Fortune 500 companies as a bodacious writer-for-hire and seasoned travel journalist to all seven continents. He lives in Provo, Utah with his wife, five children, and one ferocious chihuahua.