SEDONA, Arizona — I’d often heard this place described as a cross between Moab and Park City. An upscale resort town filled with tiny neighborhoods, high-end art galleries and oh-so-trendy shops — all nestled in a beautiful red-rock desert surrounded by the Coconino National Forest.

However, having now experienced Sedona for myself, I suppose I’d describe it in slightly different terms. To me, Sedona is like the Kardashians of resort towns — incredibly stunning outward beauty, but ultimately, crazier than a box of rabid skunks.

I blame the vortices.

To hear locals tell it, Sedona and its surrounding environs are home to no fewer than four major vortex sites — Airport Mesa, Bell Rock, Cathedral Rock and Boynton Canyon.

A vortex, if I’ve got this right, is a special place where massive amounts of whirling energy either flow into or out of the Earth. It’s said to be a spot where those in tune with such things may draw upon its healing spiritual powers. If nothing else, these vortices certainly draw the business.

Sedona has become the New Age center of the universe, offering everything from spirit journeys, shamanic healings and past-life regressions to astrology, psychic readings and chakra balancing. Indeed, a quick perusal of the brochures in the lobby of our hotel offers just a taste of the metaphysical fun to be had:

• One company, describing itself as a “metaphysical center,” offers things like “spirit photography,” “angel readings,” “animal communications,” and even “ET communications.”

• Another company advertises vortex and yoga tours, promising “personalized semi-private tours” as well as “private spiritual journeys” — all in “air-conditioned minivans.” Because whenever I take a spiritual journey, I like to do it in an air-conditioned minivan.

• A third brochure offers the services of a woman describing herself as a medium. Although, judging by the photo in the brochure, she’s probably closer to a large, or maybe even an XL. (Ba-DUM-bum!) She’s a graduate of both The University of Metaphysics and The American Academy of Hypnosis — the latter, I’m told, has an unbeaten football team, due largely to its ability to convince opponents they are getting sleepy. Very, very sleepy.

• My favorite brochure is for a company offering two completely different tours on the crazy train. One side of the brochure offers a vortex tour led by a nationally known psychic, declaring: “Experience Sedona’s vortex while receiving a psychic reading.” Flip it over, and the brochure invites you on a UFO tour featuring night vision goggles and “guaranteed UFO sightings.” Guaranteed, people.

Ah, but such activities don’t come cheap. Tours and services can start at around $65 and reach into the hundreds of dollars. Which, on a journalist’s salary, is a problem. So instead, my wife and I got Andy and Sherry to give us the basic vortex tour.

Andy and Sherry are dear friends who are currently living in the Phoenix area. They’ve visited Sedona many times, and joined us there last weekend. They took us to the most accessible — and therefore most popular — vortex in Sedona, at Airport Mesa. It’s located in the vicinity of a small red-rock mesa near the airport, overlooking the entire Sedona community. The views were breathtaking, but if I was hoping for some sort of mystical experience, it was not to be.

That afternoon, the four of us went shopping at the Tlaquepaque Arts & Crafts Village. We wandered into the Eclectic Image Gallery, which features photography by gallery owners Elaine and Duane Morgan, and had a nice conversation with the staff there.

I happened to mention my less-than-satisfying visit to the Airport Mesa vortex, and one of the gallery employees explained it was partly because I wasn’t carrying a crystal in my left pants pocket.

Frankly, it’s hard to tell when the people of Sedona are being serious and when they’re pulling your leg.

The employee also shared her own first encounter with the Airport Mesa vortex. Years ago, she and a friend had hiked up to the vortex one afternoon, just as a late-summer thunderstorm was gathering in the distance. There, atop the mesa, they eventually did begin to experience something — a sort of tingling that could be felt in the fine hairs on their arms. Suddenly, the woman looked up and her friend’s hair was standing on end.

Realizing that New Age-y feeling wasn’t the vortex after all, they beat a hasty retreat back down off the mesa just in the nick of time — lightning struck near the spot where they’d been standing.

And then, just when I was thinking this whole vortex thing was a bunch of hogwash …

When we returned to our hotel room following our hike to the Airport Mesa vortex, my wife pulled out her magnetic key card and inserted it in the slot to unlock the door. Nothing. She tried again. Still nothing. I pulled out my card, and inserted it in the slot. Same result.

In the end, we had to go to the front desk and get our hotel key cards reformatted. Somehow, they’d both been erased.

Now, we’d been using those key cards for two days, and they’d worked flawlessly. We knew to keep them away from magnetic sources like cell phones, credit cards and the like. And then they both fail, right after our first trip to a vortex.

Coincidence? Maybe, but I think I’m finally ready to begin my own private spiritual journey.

In an air-conditioned minivan, of course.

Contact Mark Saal at 801-625-4272, or msaal@standard.net. Follow him on Twitter at @Saalman. Like him on Facebook at facebook.com/SEMarkSaal.