There was only one time when I got worried enough to squelch her independent spirit. She was in Spain and gave us a call. 

“Guess what I’m doing next week, Mom!”

“What?”

“I’m going to do the Running of the Bulls!”

“WHAT?! You don’t mean the real run, with the real bulls, chasing you down the street?”

“Yeah! It will be so cool!”

Dave, yelling from the other room, “What does she want to do?”

Me: “She wants to get trampled by a live bull!”

Dave: “Tell her NO!”

Me: “I am!”

Catherine, rolling her eyes, which I could feel perfectly plainly even across the ocean, “Mom, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I’ll be fine.”

Me: “It could well be the last opportunity of your lifetime. And you will NOT be fine! Remember that scavenger hunt when you got stepped on by that big guy?”

“That was in junior high!”

“Yeah, but you really got hurt. And then there was that fat German lady on New Year’s Eve, who not only crushed you but yelled at you as well?”

“Yeah…”

“The people running are even more determined than those two, not to mention the bull. Please, please don’t do this!”

Thankfully, she listened to reason and reluctantly skipped the bulls, thus living to experience the adventure of severe chafing by riding camels in Morocco later.

The reason I bring these experiences up is because it’s Christmastime. Dave and Catherine are two of the weirdos who like to get up early on black Friday and go shopping. This year, I dragged myself along so I could point out the many items they could get for me. Besides, I thought the days of crazed shoppers stampeding each other to get to the bargain were over. I thought wrong! Even though we didn’t get to Fashion Place Mall until later in the day, the people there were still as wild as any bull.

I understand. Sleep deprived and intoxicated by shopping fever, I got a little wild myself. There was the new Christmas Lego set that I needed and only a few left on the shelf. Once I was allowed into the store, I went straight (probably not a good sign) and snatched one. If there were any children or old ladies between me and the set, I didn’t notice them. But it wasn’t until I got to Sephora that I experienced the real riot. People are SERIOUS about skin care. I should have known straight off that they wouldn’t have what I was looking for. The place was stripped like the toilet paper aisle during covid. But I wanted what I wanted and that was all my addled brain could process. I battled my way to the back of the store and was even foolish enough to look around for a salesperson. Silly. I’m sure they were all in the back whimpering (that’s where I would have been). In defeat, I shoved and clawed my way back out. 

Then I found Catherine and apologized for discouraging her when she was in Spain. Bulls are nothing compared to deranged holiday shopping crowds.  

Anneli Byrd is an academic adviser in Weber State University’s General Studies and Exploratory advising.