“We should rob a bank. If we get caught and go to prison, we’ll have better healthcare than we do now.”

This idea (not a direct quote) was suggested by an elderly man to his friends in a movie promo I recently saw. I’m here to tell you that he is wrong. The health care in prison is awful.

I hear federal prison healthcare is better than most states; however, despite popular belief, not all bank robbery cases “go federal.”

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I don’t have much experience dealing with medical treatment here because the system does a very good job at making one want to avoid seeking their help. Prisoners usually only go when they feel they absolutely have to.

Imagine going to the doctor, walking into his office and sitting down. How would you feel if he literally never even looked up from his computer screen and proceeded to tell you what was wrong?

That’s exactly what happened when my cellie went to see the doctor after he couldn’t shake a nasty cold he had had for two months. The doctor, without ever even looking at him, told him he had what everyone else did, and since it was viral, there was nothing to be done.

I’ve heard some horror stories about gross negligence that makes this experience sound like quality care, but I have not been close to any of those situations.

I did know a prisoner who ended up having to get emergency surgery before the doctor would prescribe him a simple laxative, which he been trying to obtain for months, for his Crohn’s disease. The lack of treatment and the horror stories create a deterrent for prisoners in seeking medical care.

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In Gunnison, there is another deterrent. If you are seriously ill, there is a good chance you will need to be sent to Draper without your belongings and spend some time in what many consider to be the worst area in the prison. I know a prisoner who spent nine weeks in this area, on 23-hour/day lockdown, waiting to be sent back to Gunnison.

Some prisoners would rather ignore their issue (i.e. let a broken bone heal improperly) than go through all that.

Seeking dental care, (where I do have some experience), also is to be avoided when possible.

Back in November, I broke a tooth eating oatmeal of all things. So, as is protocol, I filled out a “med kite” describing my ailment and dropped the completed form in the medical mailbox. The next step is to wait for a call one evening to pick up a “med slip,” which will provide you an appointment time for the next day.

I started the process in November and was scheduled for an appointment in January. Unfortunately for me it was scheduled for the only day of the week I work offsite. I could choose to miss the appointment and get rescheduled, or skip work and lose my job.

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I chose to reschedule. I finally saw the dentist five months after breaking my tooth.

When I first heard filling cavities only costs $5, I figured I’d get all the work done I needed to. Well, as the saying goes, you get what you pay for. The tooth that broke was one that had been “fixed” with a 10-minute root canal about a year ago.

Since then I’ve had other fillings fail, but I don’t know if I dare go back and have them “fixed” further. I have to say I feel like the dentist that just crowned my broken tooth took so much more care than the previous dentist who had worked on the rest of my teeth.

Perhaps I’ll turn in another kite and see which dentist’s name is on the appointment slip. Of course, if I get the wrong one and need to reschedule a time or two it could take six months or more.

That sounds like quite the hassle, and I kind of wonder if that’s the whole point.

Brian Wood, formerly of Layton, is an inmate at the Utah Correctional Facility in Gunnison. He pleaded guilty to nine felony charges for offenses from 2011 to 2014, including counts of burglary, drug possession and prescription fraud. He could spend up to 35 years in prison, depending on parole hearings.