Toyokazu, a foreign exchange student from Japan who spent a school year with our family, definitely increased the courtesy factor at our dinner table. In his quiet, respectful way, he never balked at any meal no matter how American it may have been to him, ate every scrap set before him, then stayed seated at the table until everyone finished, even waiting through lingering chats. Only then would he rise, thank me for the “delicious” food, carefully pile dishes into his arms and head for the sink.

“I like this one,” I remember thinking more than once. Actually, I liked each of the 10 different young people who lived with our family during our children’s growing-up years: The 7-year-old foster kid who turned our placid world totally upside down. The high-school-aged Spaniard who reminded us daily, “I am a Spaniard!” but still learned to do his share of menial tasks around the house while keeping his pride intact. Our resident Croat who waxed eloquent about all the flaws in America’s political system, but to this day we believe is still hiding somewhere in this country, loathe to leave what he found and embraced here. The rest — an assortment of mostly young adults from numerous countries including this one — came for unique reasons. Each stayed a while, crossed milestones and goals, and left us better than they found us. They broadened our sometimes narrow points of view and let us practice our humanity in ways that expanded us. We learned to love them, respect them and value each of them for who they were and where they came from.

So when I read a recent story about a young foreign exchange student from China who was atrociously exploited by “cyber kidnappers,” fury welled up in me. I seethed at the lowlife who would prey on the ignorance and vulnerability of a young person in his situation.

News stories reported the disappearance of the 17-year-old student and sought the public’s help to locate the young man who had seemed to be handling his new American environment alright, then suddenly disappeared. Intense sleuthing by local police and the FBI led authorities to the young man, hidden away in a tent in an isolated, snowy area outside of Brigham City. Ill prepared for Utah’s winter weather, he was cold, confused and, worst of all, terrified for the safety of his family in China. His parents had been told he was kidnapped. The threat letter included photos of him in his tent. His family forked over $80,000 to keep him safe.

Previously, the kidnappers had told the young man that his family back in China would be harmed if he contacted them. They instructed him to isolate himself, take those photos and send them to the criminals. Say hello to a despicably low level of cyber exploitation.

Authorities believe the perpetrators are somewhere in Asia. But the blame lies here too. Because no one should be ever that alone, that vulnerable, that solitary — especially a stranger in a new land. The young man suffered duress several weeks before he managed to pull off the kidnappers’ demands, fearing the entire time for his family’s safety if he messed up.

I can’t help but wonder what this story’s outcome would have been if that young man had just one friend in whom he could have confided. Just one person he could have turned to and said, “I’m in trouble. My family’s in trouble. I’m new here. I don’t know what to do.”

That’s the power of a friend. It may seem we can’t do anything in a situation like this, but the truth is we can do everything in a situation like this. My mom taught her kids the NOSA rule: “No one sits alone.” She taught that no one should ever feel alone if we can do something about it. As in, no one buys a tent, packs a sleeping bag and heads out to isolate himself — alone, terrified and abused.

The kidnappers haven’t been caught yet. But whether they are or not shouldn’t determine our next move. Because we have a role: Look around. Find the one who needs us. And make sure that no one in our personal worlds sits alone, eats alone, stays alone or becomes a victim.

Not on our watch.

D. Louise Brown lives in Layton. She writes a biweekly column for the Standard-Examiner.

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