First, let me say, I am not a Republican, not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some people have said to me that I would be a Republican in other states, but I grew up in New York and I was not a Republican there, either. Generally, when push comes to shove, I believe the government has a role to play in making the world a better place for its citizens. I believe the government should make sure buyers do not have to beware. And I generally believe the government should defend democracy across the planet. My understanding of what it means to be a Republican or a Democrat indicates to me that all of those beliefs combined make me a Democrat. I also have never voted for a Republican presidential candidate, in the more than three decades I have been voting.

Again, let me say, I am not a Republican, not that there’s anything wrong with that. People I care dearly for have voted exclusively for Republican presidential candidates. People who cared dearly for me were Republicans. Current friends of mine are Republican. I disagree with their policy positions and I love to tease them about it. But, let me be clear, it never occurred to me to think that being a Republican was wrong.

But the people who are accusing me of being a Republican believe it is wrong. One friend said they were defending my honor, telling people that I was not a Republican. I pointed out that I did not consider being called a Republican a problem because although I was not one, there was nothing wrong with being one. Calling someone a Republican as an insult is affective polarization, the rising trend of people in one party hating people in the other party. According to the Pew Research Center, growing shares of Republicans and Democrats say members of the other party are closed-minded, dishonest, immoral, unintelligent, and lazy. Understandable that my friend would defend me — they would not want people suggesting I was any of those descriptors. Affective polarization also affects people who are in the same party, with people deciding someone else’s partisan identity is based on their own judgment — Mitt Romney is a RINO, short for “Republican in name only,” as an example. Understandable that Marjorie Taylor Greene would quit Congress because people were questioning whether she was Republican enough. Partisan identity is as salient as any other and having people attack you for it is harmful.

In class the other day I was talking about being a Democrat and a student was shocked. After class they came up and asked me if it were true, could I possibly be a Democrat? They were stunned that anyone who liked Nine Inch Nails could be. This caused me to pause and wonder what Trent Reznor would think about being conflated with Republicanism. And then I thought, well maybe he is also a Republican, and again, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Affective polarization is the disease this country is facing in its body politic. You cannot be an American and hate someone who is in the opposite party just for being in the opposite party. America invented legitimate opposition which leads to a peaceful transfer of power; this concept is as vital to keeping our republic as elections or freedom of speech. You get to believe what you want, and I am obliged to defend to the death the beliefs I disagree with. We have done ourselves a great disservice by avoiding this problem. How many of us decided not to discuss politics at Thanksgiving dinner? We need to confront it, we need to discuss politics with people who believe differently, and we need to respect those differences. We need to get better at that.

People are Republicans. People are Democrats. Some people are members of parties I have never heard of. Some people think that the government does not have as large a role to play as I do. They are not immoral or unintelligent. They just think differently. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Leah Murray is a Brady Presidential Distinguished Professor of Political Science and the director of the Olene S. Walker Institute of Politics & Public Service at Weber State University. This commentary is provided through a partnership with Weber State. The views expressed by the author do not necessarily represent the institutional values or positions of the university.