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The Homefront: Certainties amid the chaos offer calm and peace

By D. Louise Brown - | Feb 4, 2025

D. Louise Brown

All right, everyone who’s really, really tired of listening to the political wrangling droning on, raise your hand. Yeah, me too.

Sometimes, the only reason we tune into the chaotic confusion is because we humans harbor a morbid fascination for watching things like slow-motion train wrecks take place. It’s hard to find peace in such confusion. But it is there if we watch for it.

Like today. I found peace in my mailbox. This year’s seed catalog arrived. It’s a tangible, real-life reminder that no matter how uncertain our world may seem, some things never change. Certainties exist that common-sense people can rely on. The seed catalog promises that if we plant a seed and tend the plant, we harvest the results. We can count on that comforting fact. Every. Single. Time.

Countering the chaos, numerous certainties exist in our lives. If we intently, intentionally look for them, we’ll find them. A few of our more obvious certainties …

The sun still comes up. Every day. Even if we don’t feel like rising to greet it, even if we want to curl up under the sheets and never come out, the certainty is that if we do, life may take a turn for the better. And if we don’t, well, the sun still comes up. Every day.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. The irony is, the first run-through of parenting is the real deal, and whoever gets things right the first time — especially when there’s no instruction manual? But most parents stay in the trenches and keep trying, hoping to learn from their mistakes and praying for a memory good enough to help us remember what to do and what not to do.

Children are resilient. And forgiving. No matter how foolish or distracted or tired we parents may be, children will generally give another chance to a parent who’s trying. This sometimes includes grown-up children.

Wisdom really does come with age. Sometimes, wisdom is exceptionally hard won, but there is a certain balance that usually rewards a persistent effort with some level of insight or understanding that makes trying worth the effort.

Acknowledging we are not the strongest force in the universe gives us a new level of power we never imagined possible.

A kind word will turn away anger. Especially when you have every right to respond angrily to unpleasant words thrown at you. A quiet, thoughtful answer not only turns away a person’s wrath but might also make him nervously wonder what you are up to. It’s a satisfying practice.

Snuggling a dog or a cat (unless it is snarling) will lower your blood pressure. Perhaps the animal’s too.

Most work settings exist with some degree of human drama. Employees who practically live with each other as surrogate family members for many hours daily must expect to have some struggles going on. Of course, if the conflicts become too burdensome, unlike a family or marriage setting, we can walk away, or even seek a better setting elsewhere.

Peace is the ultimate goal. Never sacrifice a principle to achieve peace. But making a sincere effort toward finding peace, whether on a world scale or between you and your spouse or child or friend may improve the existence of everyone involved.

One of life’s greatest certainties is that life lived with other human beings is messy. We love and hate. We fight and make up. We correct and are corrected. We teach and learn. We give and take. We gain and lose. We swirl through each other’s lives, both loving and hating the interactions, sometimes all at once. The surest certainty we learn is that, despite the challenges, life is better when lived with others. And when we make the effort to live well with others, we are made better.

We can be certain of that.

D. Louise Brown lives in Layton. She writes a biweekly column for the Standard-Examiner.

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