HOME, Sweet Home — There’s nothing quite like being able to type the preceding dateline on a story or column.

Spending the last 10 days on vacation away from Utah gave me a brief break from some of the more maddening aspects of this place. But by the same token, that absence also heightened my appreciation for many of the things that help make Utah so uniquely, well, Utah. Glinda, the Good Witch from “The Wizard of Oz,” definitely got it right: There really is no place like home.

And you know who else got it right? Barenaked Ladies. In their 2000 hit single “Pinch Me,” besides cleverly making you say “underwear,” BNL drops this smart bomb of truth: ”I could leave, but I’ll just stay/ All my stuff’s here anyway.”

While we were vacationing, the wife and I talked several times about how great it would be to live in a tropical paradise like Hawaii. But each time we did, that line from the song kept running through my mind.

And even more than my stuff, I’d miss my people. Family. Friends. Even acquaintances — those people you don’t quite know well yet, but sense would be fun getting to know better.

Aside from the obvious things, like climate, there are plenty of other subtle differences between the two states. Here are a few of those differences, in no particular order, that I observed:

Noise

One of the first things we noticed when we got back home to Utah was how much quieter it seemed. I always just assumed Utah would be the noisier of the two, but I actually found Hawaii to be filled with an almost constant sound. Not all of the sounds were bad, especially when you got off the beaten path, but they were ever-present — the trade winds moving the leaves in the trees; the chorus of birds, frogs and the like; the ever-present low-rumbling sound of the surf.

Pickups

One of my earliest childhood memories was seeing an accident where a teenage girl was thrown from the back of a pickup truck. Ever since then, it’s always bothered me to see people riding in the beds of trucks.

In Utah, you rarely see passengers back there. In Hawaii, it’s commonplace.

Traffic

I just assumed driving would be a breeze on the islands. But traffic in Hawaii — even on a slightly less-developed island like Kauai — is much worse than here in Utah. And speed limits are waaaay lower.

It’s even crazier on Oahu, where Honolulu reportedly boasts the nation’s third-worst commute. Last Tuesday residents and tourists experienced carmageddon when the city’s two ZipMobiles — huge vehicles that reposition movable barriers to open extra lanes depending on which way traffic is flowing — broke down just before the afternoon commute. Drivers spent as many as five hours or more in their vehicles, and there were reports of people running out of gas waiting in traffic.

Diversity

Yeah, I know. It’s odd for a guy from Utah to be talking about a lack of diversity in Hawaii. But I’m talking about vehicles, not people. Beyond the obvious fact that you aren’t going to see many out-of-state plates on a remote chain of islands, most of the cars on the road are rentals. Meaning the vast majority of the vehicles in Hawaii have this rental-car sameness to them — similar years, makes, models and colors. It’s kinda boring.

Humidity

I like the fact that the towel I hung up after my shower yesterday is now dry. I like the fact I can open a bag of chips, and 20 minutes later they’re still satisfyingly crisp and crunchy.

Neither of these things happens in Hawaii.

Expenses

Everything is higher in Hawaii. From gas to groceries, real estate to services, everything costs more. “Don’t they grow these here?” my wife asked one day, looking at the outrageous cost of bananas at one supermarket. “Shouldn’t they be cheaper than in Utah?”

Marijuana

Speaking of everything being higher in Hawaii, apparently that goes for the people as well. I caught the unmistakable whiff of pot smoke more in the last 10 days in Hawaii than I had in the previous 10 years in Utah. Rocky Mountain High has nothing on these folks.

Propriety

The locals in Hawaii seem much more willing to answer the call of nature — right out there in nature. Our first morning on Kauai we came across a man squatting near a busy highway, defecating within clear view of motorists. This, despite the fact that if he had merely gone another 10 yards into the jungle, no one would have seen.

The next day, as I rounded a corner on the busy beach at Hanalei Bay, I came face-to-butt with a squatting surfer who’d come ashore for a similar purpose.

Nor were these our only encounters with bare bottoms in Hawaii. At a remote but popular beach on Kauai, we encountered a man on his surfboard, bobbing up and down in the swells, naked as the day he was born.

Apparently, this is what surfers call “Hanging Eleven.”

Now, please understand I’m not saying one place is better than the other. Just different. And indeed, our recent trip to the islands taught me two things with absolute certainty:

• Hawaii is definitely NOT Utah.

• Folks in both places are grateful for that simple little fact.

I suspect that, deep down, even those who are constantly complaining about Utah and her odd little quirks have found plenty of other reasons — besides abject inertia — for staying here.

Utah, for a great many of us, really is home, sweet home. And I don’t care what anybody says, that’s never a bad thing.

Contact Mark Saal at 801-625-4272, or msaal@standard.net. Follow him on Twitter at @Saalman. Like him on Facebook at facebook.com/SEMarkSaal.