I’m not shocked, or even the least bit surprised. More than anything — I’m just disappointed.

I took the day off Thursday to tend our youngest grandson while my wife and daughter went Christmas shopping. Hanging with a 5-year-old is always a treat, because he doesn’t judge you for having raw cookie dough and Sunkist orange soda for breakfast. Plus which, he knows how to make a game out of something as ordinary as going up and down the stairs.

At one point later in the morning — tired of reading books (him) and watching yet another ”Power Rangers” spinoff on Netflix (me) — my grandson and I went out for a drive. We ended up at Layton Hills Mall, for no other reason than we were driving by and thought, “Hey! There’s an escalator in there!”

As we again stepped off the “down” escalator in preparation for our third trip on the “up” escalator, what to our wondering eyes should appear but our womenfolk, out shopping. They’d given me the impression they were headed to stores south of Farmington, so I thought it was safe to go north and hang out in Layton.

But, as long as we were all there together, we decided to take the grandson to see Santa Claus at center court. Not to sit on the fat guy’s lap, mind you, but so he could cautiously stand near his lap — all the while wondering how his mother and grandparents could be so cavalier about allowing their own flesh and blood to be in such close proximity to a creepy, bearded stranger who reportedly watches you when you’re sleeping.

The visit wasn’t a total loss, as the grandson emerged wearing one of those funky paper hats. You know the kind, sort of like the Burger King crowns made of stiff paper with the adjustable headband that goes over a child’s little noggin and catches on his little ears.

This one was a festive green elf hat, with a large red plaid button reading “Happy Holidays” on it. He wore it the rest of the day, and I didn’t give it a second thought.

Indeed, our grandson still had on his elf hat that night at the dinner table when my son-in-law happened to take a closer look.

“Merry Mallidays?” he asked, looking at the red, plaid button on the hat.

Sure enough, the lettering I’d just assumed to be the ubiquitous “Happy Holidays” message turned out to be the alliterative but commercially crass-tastic “Merry Mallidays.” Because really, nothing says “Thanks for visiting St. Nick” like rhyming word play involving retail sales.

What’s more, the little red ball at the end of the hat featured the letters “CBL” right in the center of it. It was too much to hope the letters stood for something like “Christmas. Believe. Love.”

Actually, it’s short for “CBL & Associates Properties, Inc.,” a company that describes itself as “one of the largest and most experienced owners, developers and managers of malls and shopping centers in the United States.” This leads me to believe kids all over the country are sporting these fast food-esque crowns with the ludicrous “Merry Mallidays” on them.

Add to this that also prominent on this particular hat was the Layton Hills Mall logo — accompanied by the Facebook symbol and the URL “ShopLaytonHills.com” — and the hat was nothing more than a walking advertisement.

Believe me, a journalist of all people understands the need for advertising to pay the bills. But of the three elements on this hat, all three were commercial-based. It sorta made my grandson’s head look like a NASCAR vehicle.

Seriously, is it too much to ask that at least one of the three messages on a hat you give out to children is a thought with no other agenda than a heartfelt wish for the season?

Of course, the unkindest cut of all was that not only did CBL & Associates Properties manage to completely commercialize a child’s visit to Santa, but their “Merry Mallidays” also fostered a subtle perpetuation of the now well-documented War on Christmas.

I mean, couldn’t they have at least made it, “Merry Christmall”? Or, if that’s a bit too sacrilegious-sounding for extremist Christians, how about simply, “Mally Christmas.” Which, for those who supported the president-elect, has the added bonus of sounding like you’re making fun of an immigrant’s pronunciation of the popular holiday greeting.

Just in case CBL is looking for holiday-ish slogans for future paper elf hats, might I suggest:

• “Jingle Malls”

• “It Came Upon a Midnight Sale”

• “It’s the Most Wondermall Time of the Year”

• “O Come, Mall Ye Faithful”

Or better yet, why not just go straight to the heart of the matter?

“Season’s Greedy!”

Contact Mark Saal at 801-625-4272, or msaal@standard.net. Follow him on Twitter at @Saalman. Like him on Facebook at facebook.com/SEMarkSaal.

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