This is what happens when you people don’t pace yourselves.

I tried to warn you a month ago. But did anybody listen?

You got all worked up over that whole .05 percent blood-alcohol level DUI threshold — which, as far as Utah liquor laws go, is actually somewhat reasonable — and now you’ve got nowhere to go when things really go off the rails on the ol’ crazy train.

Like this past week.

RELATED: Utah restaurants, bars must hang sign affirming serving intentions

On Tuesday, the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control approved signs that must be hung in restaurants and bars throughout the state. Beginning May 9, restaurants will be required to have a sign posted in a “conspicuous location” that reads “This premise is licensed as a restaurant. Not a bar.” And bars must post the sign “This premise is licensed as a bar. Not a restaurant.”

RELATED: Stricter drunk driving law may be about both religion and safety

Reaction to this silly signage was swift and intense, with folks both within and without the state decrying it as a stupid idea that — once again — makes our state look backward and foolish. In an Associated Press wire story, Salt Lake City restaurant owner Lavanya Mahate offered her take on the issue.

“People are smart and this seems kind of patronizing,” she said. “Everybody knows we are a restaurant.”

Kind of patronizing? KIND of patronizing?

The new signs are only “kind of patronizing” in the sense that Jimi Hendrix was only “kind of a guitar player,” or that Adam Sandler movies are only “kind of annoying.”

In fact, look up “patronizing” in the dictionary and I’ll bet there’s a picture of these new DABC signs.

Seriously. If you’re need one of these signs to tell you the difference between a bar and a restaurant, you have no business being out in public anyway. At least, not without some sort of close psychiatric supervision.

Still, as foolish as these signs are, in the grand scheme of things they hardly seem worth all the righteous indignation. Remember, this was part of a massive liquor-reform bill that also involved at least partially dismantling the hated Zion Curtain, as well as allowing patrons to start their drinking an hour earlier on weekends and holidays. Putting a cheesy 8 ½-by-11-inch sign on a wall somewhere seems like a small — if embarrassing — price to pay.

Besides, the DABC says as long as the proper wording is used businesses can “decorate” their signs any way they want.

Personally, for decoration I’d make the sign’s background one of those Magic Eye posters from the 1990s — stare at it long enough and you suddenly see stereoscopic images from the “Great Moments Involving Alcohol in the Utah Legislature” series. Like the eventful 2010 legislative session, which started with the senate majority leader resigning following a DUI arrest, and ended with lawmakers giving the resigning house majority leader a tearful standing ovation after he confessed to an incident involving alcohol, a hot tub, a naked 15-year-old girl, and $150,000 in hush money.

Ah, yes. “Alcohol: Fueling Intelligent Personal Decisions Since 2000 B.C.”

It’s difficult to understand why politicians and bureaucrats in this state don’t see just how completely and utterly dumb these signs are. A straight-faced DABC commission chairman John T. Nielsen said he didn’t think the signs would make Utah look weird.

Really? Face it, they’re even making fun of us up in Idaho.

Idaho, people!

The basic idea behind the signs, according to the DABC, is that Utah restaurants and bars must affirm their intentions as a business.

Affirm their intentions? What is this, an overly protective father grilling his daughter’s suitors?

DABC: So, you want to court Utah? Tell me, young man, just exactly what are your intentions for her?

BUSINESS: Well, I was going to concentrate on just getting her drunk. But now I’m thinking maybe I’d like to use various high-calorie menu items to deflower her with obesity and Type 2 diabetes.

And it’s easy to see these intention-affirming signs catching on elsewhere. Already, folks far more clever than I have suggested posting signs on the doors of the Utah State Capitol that read “This is a state legislature. Not a religion.” And signs on Mormon meetinghouses reading “This is a religion. Not the state legislature.”

Although, personally, I’d favor a sign on my place of worship that said “This is a church. Not someplace fun.”

I can even see my spouse eventually putting up a few intention-affirming signs of her own, like “This is our bedroom floor. Not a dirty-clothes hamper.”

And speaking of Idaho, rumor has it that the governor of the state directly to our north may or may not have instructed department of transportation workers to change all of the “Welcome to Idaho” signs along their southern border.

The new signs will simply read: “This is Idaho. Not Utah.”

Contact Mark Saal at 801-625-4272, or msaal@standard.net. Follow him on Twitter at @Saalman. Friend him on Facebook at facebook.com/MarkSaal.