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Caffeinated drinks at BYU? We all know what that leads to — same-sex marriage

By Mark Saal, Standard-Examiner Staff - | Sep 24, 2017

This is big, people. Really big.

Like, first-man-to-set-foot-on-the-moon big.

On Thursday, Mormon church-owned Brigham Young University began offering caffeinated soft drinks on campus, ending a prohibition that had been in effect since the 1950s.

The school even announced the change in a playful way, tweeting a photo of an iconic red can of Coca-Cola with the two-word explanation: “It’s happening.”

RELATED: Excitement bubbles up at BYU as caffeinated soda now on sale

For most of its nearly 200-year history, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has warned its members against consuming “hot drinks,” defined as coffee and tea. Since coffee and tea are forbidden, and caffeine is found in both of them, mainstream Mormons made the leap — using the Transitive Property of Sins — that caffeinated soft drinks must also be taboo. And bolstering that assumption was the fact that the religion’s flagship university proscribed sale of the drinks on campus.

By the time the cola wars were in full swing, the waters were so murky surrounding the question of where God stood on the whole issue of caffeine in our sugary drinks that many Mormons believed such beverages were basically heroin minus the needle and spoon. Church lore was replete with stories of members denied temple recommends (the gold standard of worthiness among Mormons) for consuming that daily Big Gulp.

Finally, in 2012, LDS church leaders offered some clarification, proclaiming that the Lord’s health code doesn’t prevent faithful members from drinking caffeinated soft drinks. Still, as long as BYU banned sales on campus there was always that unspoken implication that, deep down, God reeeeally wants you to drink from the caffeine-free gold cans — not the blue Pepsi or silver Diet Coke ones.

This latest BYU pronouncement represents so much more than Cougar fans now being able to drown their football sorrows in something with a little kick. Rather, it represents any change you’ve ever hoped for in the LDS Church.

Today, caffeine. Tomorrow? Tea — perhaps — or coffee. Or even wine. In moderation, naturally. And the day after that? Women and the priesthood. Same-sex marriage. The end of the three-hour block of Sunday meetings.

I’m not predicting any of this actually happens, and I’m certainly not saying it’s the result of being able to get a regular Coke at BYU. What I am saying is that in a church that believes in continuing revelation from God, all bets are off. (Speaking of which: Recreational gambling, anyone?)

But seriously, for a group of people professing such a strong belief in modern-day revelation, we Latter-day Saints sure are deathly afraid of God saying anything that challenges our preconceived notions. Yet isn’t new information the whole point of revelation? I mean, if God isn’t going to give us anything new — stuff we don’t already have lying around in our existing scriptures, church magazines and the like — why even have continuing revelation?

The Mormon prophet Joseph Smith once said of his followers: “I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves.” Isn’t it conceivable that God does the same thing with his prophets?

If this life is a test, as Mormons believe, why would The Great Proctor in the Sky simply give us all the right answers? In my experience, most times God provides a little direction but allows us to figure things out on our own — occasionally nudging with additional inspiration as we progress and grow.

That’s how we become more like our maker, the ultimate goal for Mormons.

Of course, it also happens to be how we ended up with things like the demonization of the Catholic Church, or blacks being denied the priesthood.

It just doesn’t seem so completely out of the realm of possibility for a perfect God — who’s teaching imperfect people — to occasionally say things like, “OK, children. You’re finally ready for a bit more understanding. Remember that belief that only whites/males/heterosexuals can hold the priesthood? Yeah, about that …”

I think the BYU marketing department was dead-on with Thursday’s tweet. It really is happening. Like everything else in this wonderful old world, Mormonism is ever-so-slowly evolving — growing and learning even as its members grow and learn.

It may appear insignificant to most, but considering the aversion to change in the church, adding caffeinated beverages at BYU is kind of a big deal. Man-on-the-moon big.

Or, in the slightly modified words of astronaut Neil Armstrong at the very moment he became the first human to set foot on the lunar surface:

“That’s one small sip for a Mormon, one giant gulp for Mormonism.”

Contact Mark Saal at 801-625-4272, or msaal@standard.net. Follow him on Twitter at @Saalman. Friend him on Facebook at Facebook.com/MarkSaal.

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