Most sellers would tell you they want buyers to fall in love with their home. Unfortunately, some then proceed to do everything possible to prevent that from happening. If your goal is to scare away a buyer this Halloween, or really any time of year, I have a few suggestions. You won’t even need a single holiday decoration either.

My first recommendation would be, as I referred to previously, to base the asking price on what you need for the next house. In fact, add exactly what you have spent on renovations. And you may as well ask your neighbor what they think theirs is worth as well and then add $40,000 because yours is clearly in better condition than theirs. Don’t bother asking a professional who is working in the market all day every day for comparables. That information would only interfere with the process. Happy “Your House is Still on the Market” Day.

Another helpful idea would be to present a challenge for any buyer trying to see it at a specific time. Would you like to come Saturday at two? Unfortunately, your home is only available for showings on days that don’t end in “y,” or perhaps on Tuesday’s between 11:10-11:30 AM. After all, buying a home is a serious commitment. Buyers should really demonstrate some effort. After all, there are only 15,748 active listings in the state right now and yours is certainly worth all the inconvenience.

The next tip I would recommend, to scare away buyers, is absolutely one of my favorites. The seller should really stay for the showing. In fact, follow the potential buyer very closely through the entire house. Explain the flooring, brag about the wallpaper and educate them on why their couch won’t work. Nothing helps buyers picture themselves living in a home quite like the current owner supervising their visit. One of the best personal experiences with this expert tip was one seller I was representing years ago. I had emphasized the importance of not being home for showings and she had assured me that she would not be. However, after one showing, the buyer’s agent called and told me she had made his clients feel somewhat uncomfortable by following them from room to room and then disclosing to them how desperate she was to get rid of the place. They did make an offer, but it was for less than what she even owed on the property. Go figure.

There is nothing quite like a smell to reintroduce past trauma into a person’s life. However, that is exactly what some sellers do by introducing a distinct and interesting fragrance to each room in the home. Cinnamon in the kitchen, followed by ocean breeze in the bathroom, which wafts into midnight passion through the hall, which are all trying to disguise the home’s signature fragrance: Eau de Zoo. Suddenly buyers aren’t admiring the house. They’re investigating what happened in it and searching for where the bodies are hidden. Welcome to “How to Sell a House for Nothing 101.”

Speaking of where to find the bodies, it is also very helpful to leave a few tastefully picked ominous clues for a buyer. Take a bucket under a pipe, for instance, that just shows you care about where the dripping water is going. Nothing says pride in ownership like a damp towel left along a windowsill, or a handwritten note that says, “Do Not Flush,” on top of the toilet. Even better, write in the seat with a black Sharpie marker. You don’t need a haunted house when you can offer a suspenseful one (that you have just taken the suspense out of with the wave of a Sharpie).

The last tip, for the proverbial road, is to stand your ground. Do the buyers want to negotiate? Forget that. Just pretend it’s still 2020 and the interest rate is holding at 2.9% and every house is selling for over ask price. That is sure to do the trick. In fact, while you’re at it, take every ounce of feedback that you get from any showings as a personal attack on your character. After all, who are they to say they don’t love the orange accent wall? That wall clearly holds nineteen years’ worth of beautiful family memories, and for a buyer not to like it, well…these people just aren’t your people. Perhaps you should hold your breath waiting for those who are.

Here is the real tip – and it may be just as scary; buyers need access, room to imagine themselves living there, and confidence in what they are purchasing. This is not yesterday and it is not tomorrow. Let the past real estate market stay in the past and let the future present itself when it is ready, as for now, we need to make buyers comfortable. When a showing feels awkward, confusing or tense, like an argument waiting to break it, it becomes harder to focus on the home at hand, and right now, there are just too many to choose from.

So, keep the giant skeleton on the lawn. Just make it clear that neither of you will be following the buyers through the house. Give them room to look, a price that makes sense and fresh air that hasn’t been assigned a fragrance name. You want them imagining where their furniture will go, not plotting the quickest route back to their car. Halloween is the one time of year people willingly line up to be frightened by a house. The rest of the time, they’re going to need a reason to come back – preferably, one that doesn’t involve a price reduction in November.

Jen Fischer is an associate broker and Realtor. She can be reached at 801-645-2134 or jen@jen-fischer.com.